too much.

but being legally blind iz a big part of it, it's like a chain reaction. cant git my license, so i cant git a good job cuz i have no way of gittin there except my raggedy ass bike, which means i do alot of illeagle shit to make money, which means my gf iz bitchin at me fo not havin a job and sayin that its irisponsible, which means she threatens to leave me n shit, cuz she duzznt wanna have to struggle... pfft, gold diggin ass hoe.

and tha eyes shit iz tha reason i failed grade 10, cuz i didnt git tha help i needed, which means im still in skool and sapposed to b graduated by now, which means my gf graduated last year and said she wouldnt have moved if i wuzznt still in skool, and then when she moved she cheated on me, which i think about everyday, and it makes me wanna kill everybody.

and im bored alot and have nothing to do, which means i have nothing to distract me from thinkin about everythang.

but thats all just a small part of it.

so i just write alot of shit about killin people n shit, lol, werd

Kolby...Im not being rude, but, don't you think there are people who are COMPLETELY blind who haven't allowed that to stop them?





1

true, they prolly had alot of help tho, lol. werd

It's not really a choice.
I mean I want to be happy (who honestly doesn't?) , don't get me wrong, I do. It's just a matter of finding something that makes me happy and keeps me happy. And so far the latter of the two hasn't been happening.

I dont persue happyness, I simply take shit as it comes, nothing gets me depressed, but nothing gets me perfectly happy. I have alot of work to do before I can say Im happy.

for me to be like "im happy", would be shitting on my entire mission.

Ahhh...but it is a choice. The fact is, if you define your Happiness by external factors...that is, If you believe you'll NEVER be happy unless:

1. u have a certain income
2. people stop getting on ur nerves
3. u have this or that

You'll NEVER truly be happy. Those things may never come! So, are you gonna be unhappy for the rest of ur life? True happiness comes from within, and all the external aspects (wealth/possessions) are an extension of that internally joy.

It is absolutely a choice. You can CHOOSE to be happy, despite what goes on around you, despite your circumstances. If you view situations as negative rather than opportunities, you block off the chance to use them to better yourself or bless others.

Thats exactly it though.
I do not know what makes me happy.
So I can't determine it by people stopping something, or having a higher income.

Lemme tell u from experience and wisdom here...NOTHING will truly make you happy unless you're already happy inside.

Things only provide short lived gratification...When you are truly happy inside, things only serve to FURTHER your knowledge that you don't need them to be happy, but appreciate what you have in your ABUNDANT life.

How do you achieve happiness inside? The answer is simple. Executing it requires time and effort.

Happiness begins when you accept not only yourself, but your past and your circumstances JUST AS THEY ARE. Then, you can see them as opportunities to learn, grow, be blessed, and/or bless other people.

Happiness also comes from loving yourself, and then allowing that self love to filter down to how you treat other people. Joy ensues. It has NOTHING, NOTHING to do with a "man"...New clothes...a car...a job...or anything else.

Lots of people have those things but aren't happy.

-shrug-
I'm fine with being stoical
I sleep better

But are u sleeping happy?


hmm

Doesn't matter
At least I'm sleeping

^^ehh...


Self love! Self love!

well of course she iz, no woman iz unhappy while sleeping wif me :cool:

(i think ur perfectly aware of that tho, Q ;))

:cool: werd

you're so stupid.

Yeah i'd say Im pretty happy. But at the same time i'm pretty bummed out. Im really far behind in school because I skipped 9th Grade(as in i never went to class) I was always running around with the street kids or whatever not caring. Then reality hit me and i was like oh crap i relaly need to work on my school work and by then it was pretty much to late..and now im caught up on the fact if i'll graduate or not. I guess I can only hope I can. but i also have to remember Proverbs 16:3. I cant go off my own strength or i'll never make it anywhere.....so right now i'd say im in between......i just want to get out and live on my own and have the freedom of driving/talking/being/doing anything anywhere I want...and I already have a Job lined up for me I just need to get a G.E.D and go to college for one semester for Drafting