I'm probably going against the grain here, but I'll be honest. I thought the verse was...well...boring. It felt like I was reading something that the teachers gave me in school. You have a decent concept, and great imagery and metaphors, but try to make it a little more entertaining and less like a Langston Hughes poem.

That was good.i could acctually picture it in my mind unlike some other verses on this site.keep it up man.