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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   sad story, (please read) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=66510)

GunRunna 07-25-03 09:30 AM

How much of it is real. How can u read that and not feel the pain.

dice-roller 07-25-03 09:56 PM

uppin............

Content 07-25-03 10:47 PM

thinkin about u makes my chest hurt & makes me think sad

~talents there but speak engish dammit~

you used me as if i were a living soul dart board

~a tad of imagery for a choppy flow~

my heart was the red in the middle & u hit me with every shot

~all of our hearts are red but I feel what your saying~

the next shot you hear was me. killing myself while lookin in a mirror with your picture

~your talented and the flows there but it lacks imagery and you
need to cop an english book whenever you have some free time~

or listen to eyedea cause hes from Minnesota

something must be wrong I typed without caps

Please Be Respectable And Reply To Me And
Anyone Else Who Has Shown Interest In Your Work

Peace

~Content~ Con-tent

Say It With Me...I Know You Can

dice-roller 07-26-03 01:25 AM

im not understanding your point completly
about speekin english and such................
Gimme an idea of a english book you are
speeking of so i can have somehtin in mind
thanks for your post, holla back

Ajax 0042 07-30-03 01:11 AM

this was deep damn deep n u did a hell of a spit i think we will c some good stuff from u hell of a job

respect

amerikanpimp 08-04-03 03:55 PM

Nice piece....

dice-roller 08-07-03 01:25 AM

need some more advice in here

varentao 08-07-03 08:01 PM

A true story (apart from the end of course)?

Either way, it was felt. It had a truth to it. A gritty, raw personal truth to it. The imagery was slightly lacking. I felt for what you were writing, ti could've been a bit better. Also seemed a bit cut off at certain parts. Like it was made up of emotional bursts and put together. Not as flowing. But then again, that gave the piece a kind of un-cut and raw feel to it.

...resp...

dice-roller 12-02-03 05:49 PM

What up yall, been gone a long time, jus gotta outta rehab and im better then ever, dunno if this poem is good like when i wrote
it, but let me know aight, and ill write some ones soon. Peace

GunRunna 12-03-03 06:10 PM

congrats cuz, you gunna have ta call me up later aight boy, i member this thing from back in the day, holla son


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