this was good...show just a little more emotion, cuz at times, youw as sounding like you was just reading your lyrics out of a paper and just flowing it straight through you know what i mean??...hook was good, delivery was good, lyrics were on point, and production was definitely good....overall i was kinda feelin this track right here....keep doing your thing splitviticus....OnE







I'm Ghost...

werd you got me. i didnt have the verses memorized. i spit str8 off the paper. im gonna redo it now that i have it memorized.

i spit off the paper alot now.....

when i started it was all off the paper, no emotion...sounded like i was reading.....then i figured id start memorizing..and the emotion got better..but fuck...i didnt feel like writing..then trying to memorize my shit in order to spit it.....so i started spittin off the paper again...alot of cats spit off the paper...

u just gotta try not to be READING off the paper...ull get it with time

1

^I Read Off The Paper..


This Was Nice, Yeah, A Little More Emotion Would Be Nice .. But Other Then That You're Flow Is Pretty Solid, Delivery Good, Content Nice. . Overall Good.

This Was Nice, Yeah, A Little More Emotion Would Be Nice .. But Other Then That You're Flow Is Pretty Solid, Delivery Good, Content Nice. . Overall Good.





tru..........

thats what i said jae...lol

i meant u gotta try not SOUNDING like you are reading off the paper...

1

aight i revised the song a little. i redid the hook and put adlibs. i think it helps a lot.

uppin

i thought it was dope...i loved the topic and what the rap was about...beat was ill, delivery was solid.... id give it 8/10

dis is really good dawg for ur first song i loved it....beat was very good..lyrics i like..everything pretti much...sounds like you been doing dis fo ages g lol....props to ya i really liked it :)

Pz

yeh dawg, this was sweet for your first song, looking forward to hearing more from ya.

Nice drop spliv, I like your style. I had everyone at the pad feeling this, so ya gots some fans and respect from out here in Los Angeles. Keep doing the damn thing.. I look forward to elevatng to a level that you are already at. Much respect...Bounce...

it wouldnt even say his accent, guys ..

his vocals just aint high enough, and your adlibs are way too loud, buddy .. there just as loud as the regular vocal track, they should be 1/2 at max ...

put a tad bit more emotion into this .. felt the song in and out, though .. you just need work on a few things .. i see alot of potential ...

well worth listening ... by the way ... what beat is that? who made it? that shit is illllll as fuck ..

stay up kid, if you got a chance peep this:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=78269

shit was well worth listening to ..

stay up1

^yup the addlibs are high. i went back and did that cus i didnt spit with enough emotion. the addlibs help a lot. i think i'll do much better on the next one. thanks for the feedback.

btw that beat is a Soleternity beat called "After The Rain"

and I already peeped your track. it was hot.

ill shit kid

Hey... nice... you pretty dope. Note* spittin off paper has its drawbacks.... but when u get good at it i guess u cant really tell.
anyways u just need to work on um.. emotion. lyrics were nice and simple.

is your mixtape going on sell in record stores? or on the net?