By "freestyle," I assume you mean that the process of writing in this particular piece was shortened in comparison to your others. . The idea itself seemed quite advanced, along with the characters that represented it; again, I assume that you "freestyled" the piece in a literary state-of-mind. Mechanics-wise, sure, you have posted much better pieces -- but, like Varentao said, it had just the right amount of everything. Without sudden influxes of incessant vocabulary, this piece was spiced with the perfect quantities of each literary device. Occasionally, the more talented writers seem to stumble across these pieces almost accidentally.

Regardless of your intentions, excellent piece.

^ Yeah, It Was Wrote Out Of Boredom, Quick 20 Minute Job While I Had Nothing To Do On The Train, Im Just Really Quick-Witted Like That, When Im Writing, Ideas Just Seem To Come From The Most Stupidest Things And Thats What Triggers Me, I Wrote A Hiphop Type One And A Sort Of Time Travel Type Piece, Hold Up And I'll Type Them On My Comp Then Post Them. .