AHA! somebody with a little bit of brain....

I feel this feed! man i knew that middle section needed tweakin... i done wrote this shit in 20 mins.... yes! I AM Vindicated!

oh and personally i thought the end was strong but it does have a difficult flow to read so im sure you think it didn't work... so no worries..

thnx

{Peace}

Is that it yall???

come on i peep EVERYBODY in open mic...

{Peace}

u tried to emphasize the endings of ur sentences a little 2 much. bout ur vocab is nice and ur lyrical context is straight just dont try to overhyme

thnx... i hear what you're sayin about the last word...

i kinda feel like that's the point...but...i read it again and i do understand...

one thing is It's nice the flow was so natural that even without hearing it you could tell where the emphasis is....i'll take that as a compliment....

{Peace}

it wasnt intresting to me... flow was alittle off and ive heard everything you said already ...

yea the wankstas on this forum have likely been called out a lot eh?

No doubt...

well keep feedin

{Peace}

its was aight.....a lil basic in most things,

mainly i feel you gotta tighten the structure i mean this won't flow well e.g:

When I flow, an audible verbal spike, it's through a mike,
It's not slow, maybe not what you like, so take a hike,
I real man pays his battle fees, and in a single breath could bring a room to it's knees,
So text emcees please, why don't you learn to rhyme without your keys,


or aswell if you made it more like this:

When I flow, an audible verbal spike.... it's through a mike,
It's not slow, maybe not what you like so.... take a hike,
real man pays his battle fees,single breath could bring rooms to knees,
text emcees please, why don't you rhyme without your keys,

even then its not as good as it could be....but its much better in my opinion and ... reflect a pause so even tho the lines are much different in size (couplets) you are showin its longer then the text...

just keep droppin...main thing...take the CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISCIM only tho....thats only way to elevate

ok i hear ya...i don't have any plans to really work this piece... im kinda bored with it... but i also should add that most times you should privy a man with knowing his own flow will work in some way or another... i mean we all speed up or draw out lines for effect but it is impossible to read that...

but ya keep feedin...

{Peace}