.......

You all are so generous with the replys..
Thank you so much..
I take every word to heart..

Pft... people are only sucking upon your proverbial cock because I was doing it first, and we all know how much everyone wants to be like me.

That or you really are just that damn good.

^LOL..
Well, whatever the reason...
I appreciate it..

^'n for any more feedback..

damn gyrl,u still spittin tha realest stuff in here.This piece had so many visions and depictions, I just got lost in it all.Sorry if its @ all true,but more power to ya no doubt.I especially like :

-hen I wanted to turn around, and scream for him to come retrieve me,
Cuz even though we had been fighting, I didn't think he'd actually leave me.-

as well as other quoted.And whats this about a book?A definite must-cop.Stay ^
-Avi

There was a basic philosophy in this was was repeated a couple of times. To good effect. Rather than take the more complicated 'road'. You take the more simpler one. Now the simpler one is harder in the short term. And maybe more dangerouns. But how much would you have to go through if you took the former? The obstacles..especially of emotions and 'reason' would probably make it more difficult. And who knows, it might be more dangerous too..so in a way, it is conflicting. Philosophy? Er...to take the more straightforward and 'truth' ridden path and follow it rigidly as possible till you see the light? Rather than the more complicated one which'll take you here and there and end up hurting you more?...hmmm....

It had a core simplicity to it. Which made it come off well. It was what it was.

I dunno about the first part of what i said. Maybe i'm digging to much. I dunno why philosophy came into mind. As it is relatively vague in that sense. I guess....(?!?!)...

...resp...

^V you gotta stop doing that.......

now if i write anything its gonna have been said before,
Well screw you and you bastid'nly big words..... :(

Well this poem was.......(English accent makes itself apparent)...Splendid!
I mean i havent been in that situation, but after reading your poem if i ever
needed to play a part as someone like that.....
i could do it perfectly,

Pz...

Thanks so much guys..

ayo ma i really felt dis piece kna mean it was creative and inspiring for not only women but for men also kna mean, women are like da clouds there beautiful but no one appreciates them and it seems like in da piece da guy was not appreciative of you, all i can say is do ya thang ma and continue posting holla

I like how this was actually believable in a sense, the fact you kept on mentioning wanting to go back to him.
If I had a uterus this would be really inspirational, well, if I had a uterus and was in an abusive relationship. I have never hit a woman, nor could I even conceive of doing so, and this makes me want to stay like that even more.

“A tear streamed my dusty face and the moistened path glistened.”

-That was quite vivid. In an odd way, it made the crying seem peaceful, which added to the whole idea of the poem, you leaving him. Even though your leaving him because of him hitting you, the fact you are leaving is so strong, and is almost peaceful.

“All of the sudden I was alone, I touched my forehead to remind me,”

-That’s such a true action. You know your cut, you know its bleeding, but you touch that cut and you remember everything, how it got there, why its there, everything.

“Then I wanted to turn around, and scream for him to come retrieve me,
Cuz even though we had been fighting, I didn't think he'd actually leave me”

-Like I said earlier, I like how ‘believable’ the poem way, and this is one of the parts that made it like that. So realistic.

Great work.


And people are so generous with replies because they think your Alicia Keys. :rolleyes:

^LOL..um ok, thanks I think.

I was joking about the Alicia Keys thing. Hense the rolling of the eyes.

damn girl u got some talent i was really felling this piece. i know what it is like to love a man and then have him hurt u in a way u never thought would be. and it is hard to go on knowing that u once loved this guy. u gotta keep ya head up high us girl know what it is like to go throught i give u mad props nice work