Not only was I mentioned, but I was also first!!

The flow of the piece was good, but it needs some work... get into the habit of counting your syllabuls when you rhyme... the vocab was very good but I got the feeling that you put them in there just to make it look good, dont add vocab if the piece does not need it

Besides that it was good...

^I didn't get mentioned :(

Oh yeah, no one knows what my names means, :p that would probably be a factor.