Very nice man... I like the part "A whisper being shouted" that says a whole lot. Your vocab was good and rhyme scheme was nice. It seemed like you lack transition from some of your lines but it was still a good peice.

/\ thanks man and about transition...the first line says it all deep thoughts creep in...its like this piece is about thoughts bombarding my brain like just bam bam bam thought after thought...if you think about it that is how we think...one thing right now and completly different thing a minute later

ye im with y_not on this one that shit what fuckin off the hook.
the conflict in words and metaphores was great. it painted a great picture.

"I'm dead awake sleeping" and others like that we perfect
great job.

/\ thanks

/\ gay feed

Re: Chaos of Conflicting Thoughts
 

ight the whole opening was real dope your whole vocab fit threw verse perfect and your flow was str8 fire
then at the ending it gave me the idea of the whole concept reeal well which i thought it was rreally ILL.....

good job afterall

9/10

thanks man/\ i appreciate it

Yeah i agree with Y_Not this was real good man.....you structured this nicely i thought.......your flow was a bit off but it made up for itself with your multies i liked those man....i was feeling this as i read through it, it made me think about things....Your vocab in this was nice man, keep at that...and your imaginary was good in this.....overall this was a nice piece....keep at it.