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Several years ago, I experimented with DMT. I was introduced to this chemical through a friend of mine who was heavily into Shamanism. Over a 12 month period, I smoked it 4 times, with ever increasing doses. My friend recommended that I 'work my way up to the 'spirit' dose'. This was wise, because even in smaller doses, it can be a frightening experience. On my fifth 'journey', I found them - or more accurately, they found me.
I've since read accounts from McKenna, and Strassman's subjects. I guess my experience was similar, though I didn't perceive myself as being inside a structure - rather, it seemed that the spirits were all around me. Wherever I looked, the swirling patterns transmogrified into these oscillating things which clearly acted independently of my own thoughts. At least that was the overwhelming perception I had. I can't really describe them - they were infinite in their complexity. I can see why people are convinced that they are entities separate from their own minds - its inconceivable that anyone can imagine such ... I don't what you'd call them or it.
Anyway, I was there - wherever the hell it was - and all of a sudden each one of my fingers was connected to a spirit. Here's where it gets really strange - there were thousands of them near me now (and millions in the distance - though if I looked at the distant ones, they zoomed up close). So, next thing I know, each hand has thousands of fingers. I had complete control over each one! Like we can move our left index finger, I could control left finger 40,624. It was like I was a conductor - they were dancing and flying around in accordance with what I did with my 'super-hands'. Sound and sight seemed to merge and shift - I was conducting an orchestra of millions.
There was a lot of other stuff too, but I have never been able to recall it. My final memory is being in absolute nothingness, except for one spirit. As I looked at it, it started to oscillate so as I was looking at myself - or what I perceived was myself - I was changing form a thousand times a second. The oscillations became faster - and the spirit wanted to know who it was. It wasn't asked in words, but I knew what the question was - somehow. I said 'I don't know'. This 'conversation' went back and forth at an ever greater speed until, at the same time, we were both saying 'he is you is he is you....'. Then the words converged into 'hue' - literally it was blue. I mean, I became the colour blue. A psychedelic play on words! I was a frequency! Then this spirit rushed up to me from the other side of the galaxy, laughing. He had a present - like a normal box with a blue ribbon, and he said what's your favourite 'hue'? Next thing I knew I'd opened my eyes. The extra freaky element was that I had turned my head around and was looking straight out the window...at, you, guessed it, a big clear blue sky!
Once I had met them (or myself, perhaps - I certainly don't ascribe to the literal idea that DMT is conducive to contacting aliens), I decided not to do DMT again. I have experienced total and absolute fuck'n out there - and I'd be scared that if I did it again, that I wouldn't make it back. I don't think that there could be a more intense experience, however, I never imagined I'd experience what I did either. Its amazing - but a word of caution: it isn't a fun party drug. Some people want to go skydiving, and that's cool. But this was like being a super-ball bouncing around the universe. At the time, it really was too much!!!
The final freakiness? At certain times of the morning or afternoon, I look at the sky, and get this deja-vu feeling. Its just the right shade of blue!
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werd...white boy drugs are ill... |
