uppin......................................come on fuck

uppin............................................. ............

Voted For: (X)eed

Ya claim you Exeed all expectations when it comes to skill
But when it comes to rap battles ya couldnt come up to 4Fil
—okay, decent use on his name & anotha’s
And I can tell you really got this rap Game bent up and twisted
Just cuz ya gota Banks Mixtape, Dont mean ya Lyricaly Gifted
—weak
Homie you aint really real like Saint Nick livin in the North Pole
Ya workin Salvation Army shifts is da only way ya own my Sole(Soul)
—decent
N you just some fat boy in ya mommas basement out of the states
Get liposucktion,Mix wit coke,smuggel it in,still cant slang ya weight
—nah, wack
Can't beleive you said you kick up dust and cough till ya stir up spit
U can be CuriousGeorge N toss monkey fetus Nstill not stir up hot shit
—decent
Like you got black bags to your lips, Talkin trash aint gonna get that Far
Because for Dollar, I got you on Smash, Like broken cars at a Junk Yard
—weak closer


Hes got his first note, decides to save it into the "PIGGY"
The child's lost.........this battle too, like "babe pig in the city"
—okay opener
playin his coins safe....................... livin life as a gamble
He has lost it all,please free fone "1-800 MY LIFE'S A SCANDAL
—nope
He Prays, & wants to be like "50Cent" dreams to become huge
he aint even "half that" and still "lives in the Cube"
—almost
"living outside the square" he trys to become famous
the only thing seperatin this child from Fame is his Anus
—almost
Like Donald Trump says ....... "dollar you're fired"
ooooops i made a mistake the kid wasnt even hired
—decent
despite the man's fate he never be a "young buck"
"straight outta trashville" he dont have nuff money for his Bus
—pretty decent, ur best punch
Winnin' for him is like a streak at the lottery
"and the winner is" young dollar for the best role of Comedy
—hah, okay here
see you comin at me is like the dollar witout the sign
the kid's "bankrupt" i "loaned" him the verse hes about to type
—sign & type hardly rhyme, nice try w/ the slant-rhyme though

Y.D. – overall u was aight here, structure was okay, the flow
kinda lack’d here, personas were there.. but them punches were
lackin here. some of them didn’t quite land here, and some of them
did. but overall elevate on those punches

(X) – overall u was aight here too, structure was aight.. the flow
was actually decent here, sorta on point, didn’t see any personals
here, better add some in battles more often, and the punches were
connecting here. u came harder than Y.D. in this battle w/ the
punches here though

alright uppin.........and i'll take dem P.O.V.'s as advice and work on my shyt man.....uppin dis

Uppinn............................................ ...............................

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uppin

Voted For: Young Dollar

Ya claim you Exeed all expectations when it comes to skill
But when it comes to rap battles ya couldnt come up to 4Fil
^^^Nice personal.....6/10
And I can tell you really got this rap Game bent up and twisted
Just cuz ya gota Banks Mixtape, Dont mean ya Lyricaly Gifted
^^OK......lil on the weaker side...5/10
Homie you aint really real like Saint Nick livin in the North Pole
Ya workin Salvation Army shifts is da only way ya own my Sole(Soul)
^^wordplay involving soul/sole is played....but it was a personal still....5/10
N you just some fat boy in ya mommas basement out of the states
Get liposucktion,Mix wit coke,smuggel it in,still cant slang ya weight
^^Nice flowing here...good punch....6/10
Can't beleive you said you kick up dust and cough till ya stir up spit
U can be CuriousGeorge N toss monkey fetus Nstill not stir up hot shit
^^meh...ain't feelin it...3/10
Like you got black bags to your lips, Talkin trash aint gonna get that Far
Because for Dollar, I got you on Smash, Like broken cars at a Junk Yard
^^OK.....6/10

Good verse here.Stayed consistant with the decent punches throughout the whole verse.Structure was good...flow was smooth through the verse.A lotta personals...so that's a good thing.Only bar below decent was probably that curious george one.

Hes got his first note, decides to save it into the "PIGGY"
The child's lost.........this battle too, like "babe pig in the city"
^^basic and gay...Babe?....3/10
playin his coins safe....................... livin life as a gamble
He has lost it all,please free fone "1-800 MY LIFE'S A SCANDAL
^^ite I guess....4/10
He Prays, & wants to be like "50Cent" dreams to become huge
he aint even "half that" and still "lives in the Cube"
^^umm....y u say he wants to be like 50?..explain next time...or it's a fake personal?...3/10
"living outside the square" he trys to become famous
the only thing seperatin this child from Fame is his Anus
^^NO....NO...NO!!!....2/10
Like Donald Trump says ....... "dollar you're fired"
ooooops i made a mistake the kid wasnt even hired
^*sigh*...u set it up nicely...but the punch sucked
despite the man's fate he never be a "young buck"
"straight outta trashville" he dont have nuff money for his Bus
^^NO...2/10
Winnin' for him is like a streak at the lottery
"and the winner is" young dollar for the best role of Comedy
^^Wtf you goin with this verse...2/10
see you comin at me is like the dollar witout the sign
the kid's "bankrupt" i "loaned" him the verse hes about to type
^^not much of a punch...1/10

OK...flow was ite.Structure...get rid of the capitals and (")...just makes it look newbish.The punches was the main problem.As opposed to Dollar's...you were all over the place.His lines were based off personals...ur's was just outta no-where.LIke..why you say he's poor or wanna be like 50?....do you have a link or sumtin to show it..or is it fake personal/generic diss?

Vote-Young Dollar
RTF
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203772