green shits means your sick and you ate too much....or else you're just fuckin weird

Nah, I haven't faced anything that severe

Maybe we are just two different types of dumpers

oh i hate those once. the hurting ones. UCK!

I've had quite a few of those in my day. Just like, forest green and stuff.

where they're so big, they just hurt like a fist punching yo9ur anus the whole way through

Yeah, you're an amateur dumper and I'm a man dumper.

if you knew ANYTHING about dumps, which clearly, you dont, you would know that dumping is a united thing. Only one type.

the toilet paper is all green, and the shit looks like a fucking chia pet

I say the ones right after you eat really spicy food that make it feel like you are shitting out all your stomach acid and shit. Then the diarrehea version of that is enough to start dialing 911. :(

When I faught for this girl named melissa and got suspended. When I came back everybody told me she said we broke up. And when I talked to her she was like "oh baby I thought you were expelled I moved on".

...

Yeah, those suck, but one thing I can enjoy is knowing I just pushed a beast out. The most annoying ones for me is when you sit there and push and it feels like a complete man dump, and then only one-two small dumps come out and you're just sitting there pissed off about the waste of time and shit.

nah see... ya'll actin like you know about pro-dumping. But look, I've seen my share of dumps and uh... well, I'm just pro.

Alright, i think im gonna sit the rest of this conversation out.

Man, WHAT.. THE.. FUCK?

Dude, if you have never experienced the tear of the dump you can barely classify yourself as a rookie dumper.

Well that's your opinion. You just need to expand your horizons on views of dumping.

But yeah, the other one that ties for worst for me is when you're not by a bathroom, but you KNOW you're about to shart your pants. So, you try and play it cool but totally shotgun blast your shorts and so you have to walk a retarded and sit like an idiot to try and avoid sitting in your own dump. Those ones suck.

Well, sharting in itself sucks.

Dude, I am like the Buddha of dumping. My knowledge is like that of Jesus or something. And so, when I say if you've never felt the tear of the dump I am right. Just don't dump for a few days then unleash it and you'll upgrade to a mediocre dumper.

the worst dumps are the soupy ones, they shoot out ,like comets

fine, crazy asshole, you win. But this is not over, I will reign over the dumping scene in future events of shit-taking. mark my words, MARK.MY.WORDS.

*marks your words*

Maybe one day you can be like, the Moses of dumping. We'll have to wait and see if you can go through the training and in the dumping monestaries and stuff.

*starts holding shit*

like moses and part a sea of shit? like wtf?

Word. On Sunday let that shit go and you should face the tear of the dump and be one step further to earning your medal. But yo, it's like I'm the Buddha of dumping and Hopesfall is like.. Ghandi of dumping. For real.

You're taking the analogies a little too far, man.

so, being the ghandi of taking shits, like does he poo in little peaceful droplets, of wisdom, or what?q

Yeah, pretty much. He's a peaceful dumper, but has also has a lot of wisdom in the subject.

that's pretty sweet..im envy, cause sometimes, it isn' that peaceful when i dump

Word man. Its dope after you push out the most painful and burning of dumps, and then it feels like youve rid your body of a demon or evil spirit of some kind.

I remember one of the most horrible experiences of my life was when I had surgery and had to take a dump. I got my appendix out, so all my abdominal muscles were in intense pain, and were out of order.. I also was on this really strong pain killer, which made my shit hard and black. I decided to come home from the hospital earlier than advised, because I thought I was man enough to heal on my own.

Anyway, one night, I needed to do the fattest dump. I hadnt shat for days because it was so hard to move, so I could tell this dump was HUGE. So its 12 midnight, I drag myself over to the bathroom and sit down.

For 2 and a half hours I was sitting there with a huge ass hard black shit tearing its way out of my asshole ever so slowly, and I couldnt even push it, because I couldnt use my muscles... I just had to wait it out.... It was the worst pain...

~~ roflcopter

fuck, probly like giviving birth....OMB, your'e the MAN

man... that aint funny.

imagine, after tha intense black, shit of yours, a helicopter blade fuckin' just sppinn' trhough it..............lmlo

The last paragraph almost needed a no homo attachment but you pulled it off homo-free.

the worst dumps?

the one's i gotta change when my boy drops one...(stomach upset currently -_-)

whoosh

I remember I ate all the skin off some chinease chicken wings and woke up in the middle of the night wit diareha.The shit was literally like water, and I was shitting out a little blood and dark colored brownish mud water out my ass.Another time I was trying to shit so hard and I shit out something that looked like an organ.That happened to long ago even though I didn't bother to check that picture of what is looked like is stuck in my head to this day, it was huge, and pinkish, like an organ or something.

yea i hate that i also hate it when u haven't taken a dump for a long time and it takes forever to come out and when it does it can't flush and your ass hurts like crazy and not only that it's BLEEDING!

Yeah, those suck. When you just want to get out of the bathroom but the toilet starts clogging up so you have to flush a few more times and wait for the water to go down, then get the plunger and shit. I hate having to do that.

lmlo, i don't remember that helicopter post, haha

Well then pay attention.