L.I Can Write Bars On His Forehead an couldnt Make Head-Lines/
Could Pass For Bustas Aerobics Instructor way ya Stretch-Rhymes/ Lines Requirin Higher Court Rooms L.I considers my Verse-Appealin/ The Type to Cripple Ya Sense of Touch jus to Hurt-Ya-Feelins/ Double Dutchin wit Gats as Ropes Kuniva quit Jumpin-The-Gunz-B/ Tradin Bars With You Like Laxatives bet i give you a Run-for-ya-Money/ Ponderin-Stats Complexity's Dilemma Fuck A Beene no Quandary-Raps/ Scared to Throw in the Towel like Paranoid Peeps in Laundrymats/ Got L.I Sweatin Bullets Perspirin Shells through His Skin-Pores/ Kunivas battlin Wit Alzheimers he dont know What Hes In-For/ Even If Kuniva Had saL.Iva Couldnt Spit Hot Shit If He Refined It/ Put Out Of Order Signs on yalls Brain To prove yall Closed-Minded/ Admit Defeat Scared To Come Out Ya Shell like Shook Terrapins/[turtles] Dressed The Odds Of Victory In Lean Clothes Ya Chances Wearin Thin/[think kids] Moron i Aint Losin Kuniva Sharkin Names Nothin But A Meek-Biter/ Your vo'CAB' is rollin on "flats" i think you better RE-TIRE/(retire) Weak Faggots Like Kuniva Get Their Persona's-Faded/ Write 'Wednesday in Punctuations' So Ya Loss Is A-Comma-'Dated'/(accomodated) Looch got the "Element" of battle while you continue to 'Bore-On'/[boron] like "Dummies Usin Facial Cleansers" L.I's merely an 'Oxy-Moron'/ Strike Kunivas Vision Wit Precise Incisions Despite Predictions/ Got This "Pussy Fearin My Bars" Like Paranoid Dikes In Prisons/ How L.I Gonna Flow When Im Cloggin Ya System Like A Blood Clot/ Tryna Get Ya Brain On Track But Im Wreckin Ya Train Of Thought/ Couldnt Make Not 1 Top 10 List And Now Kuniva Wanna Get Upset/ And Like Careless Tight Rope Walkers Ya Career Depends On The Net/ Just Leave These Fake Rappers Motionless Like A Manicin/ L.i Readin My Verse Hyperventalatin Hopelessly And Panicin/ Knowin A Win Is Uncontrolable Like Addin To His Pokemon Collection/ I Think Ya Face Is The Reason Ya Parents Started Usin Protection/ Except It You flows sound all the same like The voice of Ben Stein/ I'll Put Ya Spine On A Calender And Place Ya Back-Into-Time/ help on that?? |
^^lmao dope verse dont feel
like doing a full verse but you had some good metas and somewhat personals punches hit somewhat hard but you should lose the /// and """"""" it makes your verse seem kinda gay and newbish |
lol ok i been meanin to do taht but it comes as habit on here
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I'll break that verse down after a bit
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no breakdown yet?
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Pry tomorrow
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yo, I was wicked bored last week, so I took some time to write this song. Let me kno what I should fix.
(Chorus x2) I see my album at the store… I go over and I COP IT! I see niggas frontin’ wit me, I tell ‘em they betta WATCH IT! If they take a step closer, I take my GAT out and COCK IT! If they front a little more… then they’ll hear me POP IT! Everywhere I go, all the haters flood around They be sniffin’ up my trail, like a fuckin’ blood hound They wanna get me down, out, and away from this game They believe diminishin’ me, will bring them all the fame But what they don’t comprehend, is the difficulty of that task Tryin’ to kill me is like, tryin’ to jack off to Lance Bass It’s not possible, NOPE… nay, it can’t be done I’ll hit you from the back, not in the gay way, but wit a gun The way I shine over them, they prolly think I be the sun, yo If they got a problem wit me, I’ll shoot ‘em jus for fun, yo A click is what you’ll hear, when I take my GAT out and cock it If you don’t like what I say… then you’ll hear me pop it You can never stand tranquil, you always have to fidget You couldn’t make the front page, even if you fucked a midget Your rhymes are all wack, you won’t even admit that you spit it But jus like OJ Simpson, we all kno that you did it (Chorus x2) I see my album at the store… I go over and I COP IT! I see niggas frontin’ wit me, I tell ‘em they betta WATCH IT! If they take a step closer, I take my GAT out and COCK IT! If they front a little more… then they’ll hear me POP IT! Now, to all the niggas out there, that say they be the greatest You guessed wrong! You wouldn’t be missed if you went on a hiatus As a matter a’ fact… everyone thinks your rhymes are wack They be holdin’ up signs, that be sayin’, “Please, don’t come back” Please respect the crowd’s wishes, and get the hell outta here You spit like a frog. Now hop away… IT’S A LEAP YEAR!!! You always rap about… how you got a lotta money But you got none, YOU’RE IN DEBT!!! To me this shit is funny Me on the other hand… everybody loves me God is the only one, that they put above me I spit my rhymes so sick, biters don’t even try to catch them Released 2 lines, instead of a single, and still went platinum Me against you, dawg… PLEASE! That ain’t even a battle Jus flashin’ you my kicks, would be enough to get you rattled Black and red Adidas sneakers, and my OU fitted I come dressed to kill. The hospital is where you’ll be admitted (Chorus x2) I see my album at the store… I go over and I COP IT! I see niggas frontin’ wit me… I tell ‘em they betta WATCH IT! If they take a step closer, I take my GAT out and COCK IT! If they front a little more… then they’ll hear me POP IT! These fools be hatin’… like they don’t kno who I be I’m SPuL aka Reckless, I ain’t no wannabe G I’ll dominate you so bad, and I’ll swipe yo Range Rover Jus like Lil’ Flip, nigga… it’s “Game Over” But instead of chantin’ “Flip”… they all be chantin’ “SPuL” They kno that I be blazin’, and that I’m unstopaBULL I have the ability to K-O, wit just one fuckin’ line I’ll have ‘em so bezerk, they’ll be choosin’ punch over wine I rock a 12 and 2 record, when I’m battlin’ fools online Won 10 in a row… I should go live, and make ‘em mine I’m always “In Da Club”… I do it my own way I say, “Fuck 50 Cent… man, I’m 50 K” Now listen up… hatas kno I got the skill I’m jacked up wit the money, jus like yo telepone bill When my video hits BET… everbody gonna watch it When my album comes out, even hatas are gonna cop it (haha) (Chorus x2) I see my album at the store… I go over and I COP IT! I see niggas frontin’ wit me… I tell ‘em they betta WATCH IT! If they take a step closer, I take my GAT out and COCK IT! If they front a little more… then they’ll hear me POP IT! thanks. PEACE |
^^ that should be in open mic
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yea, I posted it there. I jus wanted to see if he thought I needed to fix anyhting
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Basically..... work on wording.... wording is key. Also you dont have to have multiple words in your rhyme scheme, it acually makes alot of your lines seem forced. Also work on witty punches... you know... something nto straight forward that readers think about for a second, then are like "Damn!". Not bad.. just work on that and also try to use your metas better... and drop some better personals |
Ill slap you silly`
what`? nigger nilly jus free willy fucka hill billy .. ^legends |
^ get the fuck offnew rb you dutch prick.
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what` old rb .. rofl` go feed yoo pet. |
Wow free posting out the ass.
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aah an eminem pet` ' ill '
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