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Uppin For Some Feed Please Dont Sleep
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very good piece you two, really liked it, flow and structure were good, liked the story line, can't wait to read the other two parts, imagery and emotion were good also, keep it up
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i see some potential not quite there though, the imagery was pretty good emotion really lacked and the fact that yall never show ya emotion i read it but i need yall to show it then i know when to pause then go again ya know thats what emotion is, anyway the flow was good vocab lacked multiples lacked, nothin else really to mention about ya know but keep elevating 1
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thanks man.. uppin
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uppin.....let us get some more feed, good or bad let it role in^^thanks paranoid much appreciated
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face blind scars behind bars many mind bazaars take place// need fresh sense solid like a mesh fense a lame attraction dang chain reaction on the brain// this jazz not slick dun hey TAZ and SICK ONE need advice to proceed in life// look boss habits are like soft fabrics they wear thin and tear on skin this stuff will stress a slob need a desk job like secretaries //
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Good topic, decent flow, up ure vocab but decent drop, will be lookin out for the next version...7/10
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thanks peeps... uppin
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i liked how u guys were talking to each other n could sorta picture it... but yeah.. it was sorta simple.. the conecept was tite n stuff.. n a lil creative.. but really just seemed like another reg. OM but different cuz ya are talkin to each other...but it was cool.. i liked it.. hopefully others are better..
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First Drop I've Seen From Either Of You...
Uuuum, I Dunno, It Wasnt Bad... But You Didnt Really Define The Storyline Enough... With This Sort Of Direct Invovlment Piece... You've Gotta Include EVERY Detail... I Mean, It Was Like, You're Both Going To Jail... Then Randomly You're Trying To Start A War Between Gangs???... I Was Kinda Lost... But, The Imagery, Emotion And Flow Were All Sick... You Just Left Out To Many Important Supports To The Story... Keep At It Though... If You Two Hone Your Shit You Could Do Alot Better... Please Return The Favor On Me And Vango's New Drop... Called "Hallow Tips Pt. 2": http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ghlight=atticus Thanks Alot Mayn, Stay Up... .One. |
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I Agree. Overall Madd Cool Drop...Structure Wasn't Anythnig Special but it wasn't an eyesore..so Props...Really HE Said Everything I Will Rate This THough.. 8/10... Stay Up Wit It http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204027 Chuuch Defyned -aka- Savior's Souljah |
thanks upping........
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This shit was tight, i was feelin everything....you can deffinitley up on ur vocab and multis but then ull be str8...iigh....yo sick one looks like u lost ur sidekick^^.....hit me up if u want another collab...1
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