ya its ight...as long as i get feed im kool...and yea thanks again....uppin yall

The rhymes seem too forced, like they'r random words thrown in at the end of the bar.

Other than that, this was aiight, good concept.

wet drop keep doin yo thing bra

thanks both...but i dont understand how there forced...i mgith have forget to throw a (,) In to show emotion but its ight...uppin

yo was feelin the imagery, u proper painted a picture wit ur lines man and it flowed well...ur vocab was on point - was used and used in right places...was fellin this drop was a proper story..overall 9/10. Peace

thanks alot......wordizzle

........uppinizzle

this is tight shit multis were tight nice topic is it somethin thats happen to u right now...good vocab nice structre....
8/10

Yo i have this exact same shit goin on wit the two sisters instead of brothers but the james thing is the same its trippy as fuck nice spit!

really good if u asks me

thanks i kinda wanted more of better feed..but i guess you cant expect much from newbies but yea my big brother james jeez hes a nerd str8 up...and then i have a lil brother but yea this is str8 true...
uppin

that link u have is boreder-line.....

plez try to get a little more in detail, like what was the best part and what was the weakest u know.....

this aint ya warning this is just ya heads up.... befor the warning...

fuck you.....intensify effect..

i put that link there a long time ago...im not doin it again so shut up...

uppin..

wow man..you're improving at an alarming rate..
your flow,vocab,and multis also..I actually enjoyed this very much..
the true story means you're writing from the heart..
this almost seems like Luther Vandros song "Dance with my father"
but alot less gay, I loved how you expressed your feelings
without sounding like a strait dumbass or soft cake..good job
I think raings are pointless now,I stopped using them
since your last crit

thanks...much appruciated
uppin...