When citizens & kids lose faith like they lost at sea...
Total destruction... aint' no hypocrisy..
..This is the product of my own blood and tears
...a sinner lost in a cloud of fire consuming lvoe and fears
...now if you hear this song and think I'm goin' sacrilegious
...yo didn't understand but I just aksed forgiveness

i really enjoyed this, although i think the first paragraph/stanza/whatever didn't flow as good as the last two, i thought you packed too much vocab, and it was a little uneven and a little hard to read.......but overall, pretty amazing piece, shows that you have a great deal of understanding/wisdom of history and you are a very talented writer....hall of fame for sure, you can even post this in that forum because im going to say this should be in there for sure.....so yeah, very good piece, i was feeling those ^ lines the most, thought they really stood out....unique structure, and the chorus was perfect, loved it, ahhaha, definately keep droppin man......

thanks alot for the feedback man...
uppin'.

mayn, u had sum nice ass multies fasho. u wuz on sum different type a shit, nom sizlaxin? i liked it. about 9/10, wiggity werd

wiggity werd? WTF is in the water in Canada?

j/p thanks for the feed.

shit was dope kid... flowed well and a good topic. i was feelin this overall id give it a 8.5/10

the opener was dope kid i was really feelin that

lmao @ 8.5 booo wicked booo

don't make me whoop yo ass fool!!!

j/p... thanks for the feed

ok, yo, you kno what I say:

Breathe made me lose my breath
Graduate put me to death
and Babylong brought me back, wit strep

:cool:

but fo reel, this shit was real nice. Real good lines. didn't rhyme or flow that nice in first verse beginnin', but shit picked up later on. fLow was pretty ill later on. That adultery line was my fav tho. lol OVerall, 9/10. good shit. pc

thanks for the feed spul... enjoy the strep.

well, sumtimes there corpses floatin down tha river in Bridgewater. frum people jumpin off a bridge n commitin suicide or frum people bein thrown off, its pretty gross in there sumtimes, lol, werd

no shit... we just got pollutants... shit be gross yo.

Aiight I'ma keep this short and sweet cause I've had a long night..

Shit was dope bro.. I can tell you put a lot of effort into this peice and you got some points in it where I didnt understand what you were saying.. Patty Duncan... Whos that? And there were other parts I didnt understand aswell, but I aint gonna bother getting em.. Its all good though, I liked the peice. Good shit.

thanks buddy... I forgot to explain some shit... but I'll get to it.

Man shit was fire structure was on point them metas was nasty vocab nasty man this could make the hall of fame! 9.5/10 we should collab foe

lol...i read up to were some1 tried to leave feedback and then pimp was like.........WTF...u didnt even read it....lmao....anyways...nice drop man...started deep..it was a nice sturcture too...kept me goin....nice topic..babylon..at first i was like..hmm...ok..were we goin ere....vocab was excellent..everythin was decent...definettely one of the nice topical cats on the site...u underated too i think..u known alot........but u really are one of the nice topical cats on this site..keep em comin mayne...

yo thanks for the feedback both of you....
Tony I already posted on your open mic in your sig...
Idyllic thanks for all the praise :) I'll try to not let it go to my head :ego growing: lol nah... but thanks for the feedback... I'll get at your open mic...

uppin'...