Uppin for some damn votes............................

Uppin For Some Damn Votes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voted For: Sakim Aerias

tweety-below are my fav bars...
So many colored souls being sent to heaven, no wonder the sky stays black
Until someone stop this, My people will go through this dangerous disease like plague

^^1st line was dope, 2nd line fell off huge...what happened??
1st n second verse were aight.light the imagery in both parts
emotion was more prodiminent in your 2nd vere thou
to be honest i wasnt really feeling the third part of your verse
althou i liked how you split it n kept the same type of ending
but ultered it slightly to each..awesome take on the topic, i liked how you protrayed it n had great meaning throughout....nice drop man.....stay up
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/.
rev-nice flow n consistency, but i felt your take on the topic
was rather bland, your verse held little to none metaphoric value, it seems you went blank on alot of your piece n just wrote what came to you.....i did however like your ending which was the best part of your piece....it just seems the effort wasnt there.........
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^^ Aiight thanx...............A favor will be returned.........

Voted For: Sakim Aerias

ight i aint really good wit topicals in this so imma do my best i aint gonna break it down line by line coz i aint got much time famz... i cant vote on the other battle coz drakel is in my crew so im voting on this one....

rev:

i liked this verse i had ok emotion... vocab was ight pretty good but not basic... your lines were good and u got your story across... structure wasn't great neither was the flow... that was your biggest flaw in you verse i must say told u i aint good at explaining these lol... sry fam


Tweety:

u went deep into this topic, went into different aspects of colour which i liked alot... your vocab was better than revs, emotion was dope and flow was good... the only problem i thought of with this is that some of your lines were a bit stretched it aint that bad but that was the only flaw i could make out in your verse..


god battle... i'm giving this to tweety for having more emotion better vocab and a better understanding of the topic...

hope this helps guys pz and no hate...

Voted For: Sakim Aerias

As the whip slashes on my back, I heavily barked with tears
Every hit takes a inch of my live away, to me as I know it is near
The scars on my back stays on like an tattoo with agonizing pain
My arms are fully hanged and chain, my shirt fill with blood stains
So many people like me go through this every day, some don’t live long
Picking up cottons under the hot sun, we’re weak, they’re too strong
Our bones being showed under the tight skin, were too hopeless to fight
Kids dieing by dehydration, but no coffins they’re body decay by ant bites
So many colored souls being sent to heaven, no wonder the sky stays black
Until someone stop this, My people will go through this dangerous disease like plague


Racism

Forcefully hit by the water hose, hurting my ribs. Tears gas stinging my eyes
Beating me on the ground, by nightsticks. My legs are sore, unable to arise
I see the same thing to my left and my right; kids screaming from the top of their lungs
The pepper spray is burning their tongue, I see knuckle fist being swung
This whole thing started, by judging the belief, of is god is black or white
They didn’t like how the bible was written, and we were unable to unite
God had wool hair, god had tan skin and that all revolves us “black”
They wanted us out., they did it by threat, and killing, putting our bodies in a sack
As I’m getting the severe scars by hate and envy, I yell and cry
No wonder the sky is black, too many colored souls is being sent to the sky




.:We is black:.


We’re being judged by the white faces, that don’t like the colors
They killed, my sister, my brother. Who can stop this dangerous chapter?
Trapped in a world, of non-equal. It’s like being split in 2 worlds
With heavily fear pouring down on us, tears always being hurled
Our screams remains deafness to them, also the chapter seven, heaven
Bruises on our backs, from whips to fist, that come fast like lighten
Young souls, don’t have a chance of the future, being sent northward early
It’s like being trapped in Hitler’s world, were everything is so deathly
They yell, “We hate you, we hate you, GET OUT OF HERE! Die”
As we look up, and take our deadly fate, the cloud is so black no wonder
………………………So many colored souls is in the sky

Iight u cant be faulted in any way shape or form, nyce choice ov topic..imagination wuz not needed because u used real lyfe stories & happenings in da world & put ur self in da position it happend 2 u, i wuz really feelin dat, & me being black culd relate 2 alot ov ur concepts. da emotion wuz well expressed thru da words & topics & frum diz peice i'd say u was a lil modern day malcolm x lol...really nyce job, u killed it.

Vote=Tweety, better concept wit da slavery thing, both wuz a real enjoyable read but da slavery thing wuz damn near a masterpeice

fuuuuuuuuuck, i posted a bunch ov feed 4 revelation on hiz verse but i put it in his box under his topic then forgot 2 copy n paste it after i left feed on tweetys verse!!!!!

Ok..........sorry 4 da inconvience

Revelation:

Ur topic wuz good, emotion wuz evident thru ur expression ov words, creativity on the sceheme ov ur peice wuznt as strong as tweetys but it was styll good & pretty damn complex, vocab wuz strong, imagination wuz real good....only thing u lacked dat tweety had wyz da concepot & da way he played off da topic using slavery, kno wat i mean? sorry 4 da weak brake down but u gota understand i wrote a damn essay on ur verse & forgot 2 copy n paste it into tweetys voting box so my bad...good job though revelation, juz needed 2 be more creative wit ur scheme ov da topic

Aight, close this Tweety. Good job man............