This was feedback posted for Spoken Word
 

y0 tHaT sHiT wUz FiRe SuN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voted For: Spoken Word

Entrenched in the long grass, that grows from the Field
Gilli suit for camouflage, to prevent from being Revealed
Concealed, as a sniper I’ve been sent to full fill a job
Trained to be quick, slick and mysterious as If i was god
As still as a Brick, This silenced M-21 is a snipers magic stick
As if I wasn’t there, as if a bullet came from No where
Stuck the enemy straight through his Scared Stare
Hitting the ground with a profound Sound
I crep up to a nearby mound, Take aim at the nearby prey
They will come to his rescue sooner or later today
I’m like a tree falling in the woods, When no one is around
With out a sound to be heard, no one says a word.
As I lay atop this mound, Motionless I glare into my scope
As a enemy your hopeless, when I grab a hold of this trigger
This cross hair, cares little for these rebel ditch diggers
The statistics and figures weigh 10 to 1
But like a needle in this corn field, I cant be out done
Like a snake yah cant hear me, But yet I’m so near
Silent as a ghost, as quick as a light year

My vote is for B-Mac only for this one reason: he stayed with the topic meaning his rhyme was about "A Job that can only be fullfilled, By a quick and Silent Figure."

Spoken word your verse was dope but it didn't touch on the topic as a whole! It was poetic in essence, you focused on more on the aspect of SIlence more than "A Job that can only be fullfilled, By a quick and Silent Figure." Dope verse but it wasn't consistent with the topic.

Peace & Hip Hop
Barz


Vote switched

uuppin............................................ ..

Voted For: Spoken Word

B-Mac-Ok...I like the concept you took.Silence..to Sniper.Good.U took the creative route with the concept.But one problem I saw was that it was tough to pick up emotion and imajery through ya verse due to poor wording.I found both your wording and vocab as newbish.And the words you rhymed..elementary.

spoken word-I though your concept wasn't as good as B-Mac's.But you executed it better.Better vocab and wording by far.Was a little boring at first...but it got better later on.Very descriptive and more profound.You won in my opinion..but next time..work on making it more interesting.

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http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204014