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thank u 4 the supporters
much luv 4 ya..... |
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Dam J Trooper You Had Sone Nice Shit Here Man, Vocabulary Was Just There, You Had Some Good Emotion Here Imagery Was Also Tight Flow Was Nice Man Structure Was Decent Dawg Keep This Up Man Wee Need To Collab Again You Know Last One Made It To HOF HaHa! Black Queen Pretty Good Shit Here, Lines Kind Of Stretched Though Which Kind Of Messed Up The Flow Just A Little Bit, Vocabulary Was Good Though Structure Was Meh Nice Decent Here..Emotion Nice Going Girl, Over All Good Piece Both Of You On The Real Holla Back |
Look for Pt 2....Coming Soon.....
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word, i'll leave feed now:
troop; nice flow man, i enjoyed the easyness of the read, and i thought you came really strong emotionally here, and took a hold of the piece and brought it out more, well done. but i feel there were some parts i didn't like, like using the word 'orgasmic' in a serious, emotional pice.....it doesn't really fit, and the stiffler's mom line was kinda outta place too, but overall, good drop man, keep up. black queen; very strong emotionally, liked it, vocab could be elevated, but thats minor, you know how to write, and you should keep up, because you do a good job. just work on imagery a little more, but since this was centered around love and hate, its obvioulsy an emotion piece, so thats minor as well, but keep up. well done to both, and make sure you check out my new OM coming soon :) |
4sho man
thanks 4 takein time 2 read |
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da shit is hott each time i read it
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Uppin this old ass thread
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This shit was BOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNNNG.
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I can't stand "part" pieces cuz it's just so lame when you're getting into a story and it just stops abruptly. But, in terms of content it was an ok piece. Seen alot of concepts much similar to this but you held your own. Would have like of seen more creativity. It was cool though.
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first off, both of your verses were good. they both stuck to the topic, which i thought was a well chosen one. some vocab around the piece, but that's alright cuz sometimes a piece sounds better when it is simple.
lucky luciano--great verse man. lots of nice rhyming. in some ways, it was kinda funny like at the end how "I FUCKIN HATE YOU BITCH.....but Yet i Still Love your Ass" which i thought was cool. flow was nice. it kept the piece together, and so did the structure. great job black queen-- your verse was unique. i dont really like the style of rhyming with the same word on the next line...i think it feels a little monotonous...but that's just me. you did it here and there. structure was good, and so was flow. overall both of you did a great job putting together this piece. 8/10 |
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