What the fuck did I do to get this life?
Gotta enwrap a dick and catch sperm right?
Then they jam me into caves like a fuckin miner
Sumtimes peeps even eat me like food at a diner
But the worst is goin and meeting shit
Cause Then I get discolored like I had brown pigment

Next: A Mic

ayo ive step 2 da mic infront ov a crowd an lit a fire under their arse....
standing ther spitting ,and swetting like ive just finish gym class...
first time i hel a mic i held it tight tha mic waslike"oh no ur hurting me let go!!"...
it doesnt matter i do im always getting rymes an keeping tha flow....
look at tha guy afta i beat him an say"ur winning spree has just been tucken"....
step up and step down from da mic i just left smoken....


next subject:lol running from a fat chick!!!! lmao

O man wtf did i do im about to get eaten
Wtf da fuck i think i see Lyricalrapper behind a bush beatin
Dis fat bitch is about to catch up and sit on me
Damn i hope she done beat the piss out me
O wellz im in her stomach now and its pretty full or crap
Dis bitch ate a mic so now its time for me to start the rap

next: a Pooperscooper (person who gets paid to pick up dog shyt off the sidewalks)

rollin down tha streets smokin endo pickin up dog shit
laid back wit mah mind on mah dog shit and mah dog shit on mah mind
thinkin bout pickin up cat shit or some other kind
oops i juss litered hope i dont get fined
im pick it all up tanite
i hope im doin it right
mah job is so fuckin tight
wont brake mah arm cuz dog shits light

next: alien stripper

fine since no1z gon answer da next is a phyco dat escaped from da mental hostp


Your one freepost away from being banned you topic forgeting creme tart!

~Bounce~

running down the streets at 8:30 in a greed dress.
imprisoned is my attitude my attire should be less.
i made a mess of my clothing so i discard my outfit.
people pointing and laughing so hard that cause traffic.
laughing at me they will see when i piss through their roof.
yellow liquid in their car ogoing to work with urine in they suit.
this one man had the nerve to give me a coat to conceal my joy.
so i put him in the boston crab like wrestlers when i was a boy.
this guy in a blue uniform sprayed some shit in my left eye.
for some reason i must be sad cause my right eye starts to cry.
in the end i post up at my old chidlhood favorite hangout.
but now my old spot, is called the robinson family house.
the family looking scared when i go up to my old room.
counting sheep as i sleep on the cieling my focus starts to zoom.
24 hours later i wake up back behind some padded room walls.
and now i got this green dress on to cover my cock and balls.

day in the life of a midget

I'd start by wakin up drowsy in a little bed,
Take a look at my little girl make her give me a little head,
I walk to take a piss and felt dissappointed,
I had to take a shit but last time I fell in the toilet,
In and outta the shower and throw on my son's clothes,
I reach up to unlock the door but don't even come close,
I get my kid to come and give me a boost,
I'm only two steps out the house before I get the abuse,
I'd go and kill myself but I'd only be a statistic,
Another suicidal mutha fuckin mudget!


Day in the life of the nerdy did in school

Im a nerd,.. not a wanna-be g,...glasses to thick to see...the halls i rode
the jockers stuffin me in lockers...consantly.. without the number code
just playing my roll..in the class..trying to get "A's" while my draws are in my ass
i mean why be such a jerk,, last week u took my lunch, and i did your homework
but i had enough, time to get tough,..never will i be touched..throats to choke
time for the shotgun and my trench-coat..bitches blow..now they know
not to fuck with the nerd in the back,..when my mittens are leather black.........


Day in life of a fat man!

I'm as big as your momma when she was havin' you
Eating glue chewing shoes I'll eat her fuckin' pussy too
Not to be taken? You'll be taken up the ass
I'm fat, not faken I'll eat anything but glass
Cuz it'll smash while it's tryna be passed, through my anus
You skinny people are lamers tryna blame us
Fat fucks for shit when all we do is sit on our butts
So what's up with that, sounds to me like it's whack
Oh God, here comes a heartattack

Next: An Australian

G'day mate, I'm the craziest of the men
Instead of rattles, I keep rattlesnakes in my babys pen
Drive yo ass down in my dune buggy
These nasty tan clothes keep me warm and snuggy
Lazy as fuck so ill beat yo ass later
Plus, It's a beauty, I gotta touch this alligator

Next- Chicken Rancher

Man I don't fuck with these birds I just produce em',
Cause these chickadee's ain't get'n shit from me but chicken feed,
Catch me at the club with only chicks with the finest feathers,
I raise these birds in packs, so ya know we fly together
But these birds don't fly, so when you do find one that meets the eyes,
ya gotta catch that chick and put her on the skillet,
Fuck the chicken wire, a wolf catches your chick, and he steal it.

Next Weapon: Pilot

sorry man but you jus' had this coming/and your egging me on/but this is to leave a person behind and you gave me a weapon/i'm ready to use it you/i hate it but the only way to get through is force/and i'm not in remorse/so next time read what your have to leave behind/or your gonna get left behind/

next person- canabitch

eminem hurt me so bad i rode away in a ambulance
fucced me up with da whole song, killed me with canabitch
alot of people think i can fucc with him but i dont believe i can
thoze just people who like me, but i dont believe my fanz
i was tryin to diss him but i guess i wasnt offendin him
now my favorite rapper'z name iz eminem

next: O.J. Simpson

shit, i wake up to breakfast in bed
cause dis white bitch think if she dont she will end up dead
so i get up and put on my shit
put on my jacket and my glove seem to never fit
but.......... get in my wip and went to get my kids
they so damn bad i aint takin dem fuck dat shit
so i stop at the bar to get a drink
wen i walked in every white persons face turn pink
gimmie some coke and rum and make it wit the coke vanilla
then i hair a man mumble ::::oj's a killa::::
didnt phase me..... i downed my drank
walked out the bar got in my truck
drove to the crib and WUT THE FUCK!!!!!
another dead white bitch aint this my luck
who eva did this she AGAIN is so damn foul
well that why i got jonny cocran on speed dial

::::::::GET YO MIND RIGHT::::::::

Next person : R. Kelly (should be easy)

Guess what I got off again... come here girl call your friend
Hey cutie what grade U in she said 7th... Well O.k. then
Do U want to come my hotel... better yet I got the camera
in the motel... Here's a couple grand so U don't tell
I'll give U a few more G's if I can film U pee...
Hehe now imma be tappin that bo..oo..tie. :hump:

Next: Janet Jackson




:shoot: :thefinger

Janet Jackson-


I got another plastic surgury two days ago,
twelve more and hopefully I will look just like my bro,
my fake tits were fondled by a gigalo,
last night and he said he could feel silicone fo' sho',
coming out with another album soon Im sure,
into another eighteen bucks wasted my fans I will lure,
my dad beat me and thats why I am into bonage,
tie me up and beat me till my ass is beet reds,
I got a place in Hollywood hills that is chill,
over my mouth spills after with come it is filled,
call me rich or a bitch but what matter is this,
into a 14 carat gold toilet do I piss in my bliss,
rhythm nation if you remember was the last of my hits,
why didnt I use its profits to pay for bigger tits,
I get mad when people accuse Michael of pedophilia,
just because he the biggest collector of dildo paraphanelia...

next person-
George Dubya

Where's my secret service? I gotta be protected,
the only president in history that wasn't actually elected,
I'm in the news today because, again, I mispoke,
I wouldn't make so many mistakes if it wasn't for all the coke,
My dad's calling again, I'm his favorite, he calls me special,
okay, chew chew chew chew...can't choke again on a pretzel,
Where's Cheny? Rumsfield? OH NO!! They can't have gone!
They've got help me find another middle eastern country to bomb,
Thank God for 9/11 or else the public never would've liked me,
My approval rating is falling, and Kerry keeps trying to fight me,
If I'm gonna get reelected, first I'll make up some more quotes,
and then, hell, if that doesn't work I'll just steal some more votes...

next person -
Stephen Hawking...

I can only do shit wid two finger, i
bet you didn't think dat i could be a rap singer,i
sit hear talkin all dis clever bullshit, but
Deep down,ya know say dis genius can spit,
oh shit, my balls be startin to itch, but i
can't reach them,damn,life is a bitch,they
Itch so much dat they startin to hurt,i
Would say somethin,but my voice don't work

next person...george bush

Yo Yo

I'm George Bush, President of the U.S.A
Listen up you fagits I got sumthin ta' say
America 'posed to be the country of free will,
But while I'm on the stand u better expect me to kill,
I run this country like I run a hand through my hair,
I take chances and I'm willing to dare,
Take thee to war and expect sudden death,
My army will kill you and all my allies in depth,
Innocent souls are murdered,
Lesbians and fags are lemon curded,
Cus I, aswell as tryina blow up the world, am against gay marraige,
I act like a king, cept I dont own the horse and carraige,
It seems alot of negativity gets thrown my way,
But it aint my fault that I use war as game play,
Take Sudam, we killed nearly every fucker in iraque,
Now we find him and we aint even put him away in a body rack,
Now we leave the country in chaos and mayhem,
so soon we'll take the oil riggs and wont have to pay them,
I have no clue what I'm doing, I'm gonna lose the next election,
But for now Tony blair can suck on this erection...

next person - Albert Ienstien (or however thats spelt)

Sittin' under an apple tree tokin' a bong
Ask for some smoke and get an atom bomb
Up your fuckin' ass, beggin' for grass...
This ain't the usual puff puff pass
I ain't a sucker, this shits gotta last
tryna break into the stash, I'm smarter than that
I know your germs will spread apon contact
I'm a nobel prize winner, plus mushroom tripper
See nobody knew! Genius comes from the liquor
Get drunk, drink up find a bitch and get it up
Rip shit up, I'm hip but I broke it and can't get up
I'll leave with these last words, FUCK HITLER
Fuck Jews but I needed germanys weed Mister

Next Person: Fat bitch trying to get sex

everyday i work the streets givin it out free
but my ass is so fat nobody wanna fuck me
ppl see me and they turn to run for a while
not that they have to cuz they cud see me from a mile
i even tried beggin for just a little sex
but every1 like 'who wanna fuck this big t-rex
i thought it was a praise when ppl say my ass is fat
but then i hear em say fuck her and end up flat
i shud really stop bein a ho cuz i aint gettin paid
but i'm a still pray every night hopin to get laid

Next person: person decidin whether to have a sex change

Takin' too many steroids, my dicks competing with hemeroids for size
and my balls used to hang bangin' into my thighs, and now they hide
Thinkin' maybe maybe I might, no more out lookin' for pussy at night
Implants, wig and a pussy that's tight, it all sounds so right
Alright, Doc gimme the works, don't just cut that shit hurts
drugs first, stupid motherfuckin' bastard go buy me a skirt
Gas comin' in a lovin' feelin' like the life of a player dealin'
Dreaming about alients and military opperations
woke up and wish I never got that opperation
Stucked a dick to my head with a permanent errection
Is this for real doc, fix it or I'll get a second oppinion
Pissin out of the cunt on my arm, I didn't know I had one
too much trouble lets mass suicide, you go first, dont run
straight after you O.G. life just aint that much fun

Edit; next can be a virgin 16 y.o. girl with a mustache on crack
or if thats too fucked up... A nazi who rapes his dog

Yea aight, hitler died and lost his life, but im alive and i got your wife..
Stop wid the fight, cuz i bring a new concept for 'rollin wid dogs in the night'.
Fuck jews then homaphrodites, pick up whores on my fuckin trike
And after that... s'the aftermath, with guns and gats, that blast
Had em for 40 years, 'come up on you from the back'... wid the past..
Strikley here to start a revolution and prolly swing by the stray dog insitution
Pick up a puppy, eat him for christmas... fuck constitution


A day in the life of... an alien from afgan

these are not famous people for fuks sake!!!

u fake ass busta, bitin shit from 8 mile... the fuck
just do the cypher wack assss...
ima start it again..kobe

so wuts the deal cant have kids lookin up to me?
just cuz i fucked a girl and i thought the pussy was free?
but woe is me, bitch made me catch a case..
dammit who knew this is wut u get for rape//
but i still wear the eight, wen i tear the lane..
fuck, i shudda just went up the rear the same//
instead of smearin my aim on her pussy lips..
fuckit the bitch looked good..in a full eclipse//
im so full of shit thats y i bought my bitch a ring..
now i gotta worry bout jail AND the sacremento kings// its fucked up..

next.. jamie foxx

Mi Nombre Es Jamie Fox/ I'm Supposed 2 B Black But At The Mtv Awards Throwin Game Down 2 Courtney Cox. I Tell People Im Hood/ Drinkin My V8 Splash On The Movie Set Of The Wood/.drivin In My Lex/im Worse Than Wayne Brady Makin Brian Gumble Look Like Malcome X.

Next Person:if You Were Hugh Hefner Takin Viagara Like M&m's As A Result Hooked Up To An Iron Lung As 60 Sumthin Year Old Goldie Hawn And Pam Anderson Fight Over Who Inherrits The Collection Dead Skin Thats Been Decaying Off You For The Last 2 Decades.

sitting at the top of my throne//
silk slipper and robe, with madd play bunnie hoes//
two suckin my toes, while I eat caviar from a bowl//
I completed all my goals//
nuttin left to do but take turns and play roles//
Pam comes up and I tell her to go back down like a mole//
put her face in Goldie's hole until she finds gold//
so old wit so many pros, so many flows//
I got head everytime my wrinkled c*ck rosed//
and nobody knows how many centerfolds I exposed//
all of the shows I seen strippers on poles//
girls eaten out right thru their pantyhose//
as many p*ssies I f*ck, nobody can get quit as close//

....Malcom X