Fuck, you deciphered that perfectly.

jesus christ is thist a fuckin joke?this is like 3rd grader shit

i had a cat named kiki
she was white
she was so cute
i loved her
rofl

Apparently you didn't get it.

This is why I won't post a picture of my girl, because you'll knock anything I do. This was dropped on RB where it's hard as hell to get positive feedback and it was loved. Also people I don't get along with here dig it, so whatever think what you want.

Let's see something from your notebook.

so your coming out?

You're right

I have more than one

Cuz 1 just wont do.

haha got me feeling good now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVYza0NiWuU

You're ability to pick up sarcasm is comical.

Yes AJ, I'm coming out, I'm a big faggot.

that poem was a fuckin joke
my notebook?i dont write no fuckin poetry.....
i battled for like 5 yrs,3 yrs on another board,like 2 on here, then retired

You didn't even understand it so how can you call it a joke?

heres a old poem.

Relationship until Death
Dark in sides from a weaken mind designs fraction.
Vision is deadly so blurry its got you dizzy.
reasonably Fantasy's only a theory.
Only imagine if this never happened our passion together.
forever the sound muffles and no ones laughing.
Fade to black irritate its Flat.
radiate the anxiety,
and still you refuse what Fond beauty you mean to me.
Now I understand what prophesy you apprehend.
No your just a throw away friend.
Relinquish significance and slowly watch it from development.
till' what remains is a death certificate, a grave, and a skeleton.

Or this old poem I did.

Imagine
Imagine the world with no War or death.
or killing someone in there very footsteps.
and only Imagine if the world one day was pleasant.
and for once people followed religion to one day see heaven.
children with needs imagine what such real life brings.
with all the hate mixed with violent and racial things.
kids are born into gangs and a war over turf.
in gods eyes wasn't this 1 life, 1 love and 1 earth?
imagine no slavery getting beat for something you feel isn't free.
or killing a innocent black man because of his future dreams.

And this one Bushy brows.

Spoken Truth
My inner conscious eating my every thought, you're my dream.
Only thing to hug me, is my tears down my cheek.
And To find my inner self I need you.
Not only did I lose myself, but I lost you.
In life I thought I had it but didn't.
Minute to minute fades to gray from a split image.
Pictures seep through to love as the melody does.
Capture it in your palm grasp it the way it was.
Life leads through so many obstacles a personal war.
Enter your heart to find it find me and what you live for.
Like stars in the night so bright reflect to give me light.
Given battles that I'll continue to fight.

Now fuck off Adam.

I hope you get hit by a fucking bus.

I won't break them down, but you can't half ass a poem better than everybody here.

i'm not a poetry head but i can see that he can half ass a poem better then u,especially seeing that u think that dog shit is the best u got

thats old shit Adam shit i wrote when i 1st got into poetry.

I don't think it's the best I got, I keyed it off the dome and if you can explain it to me in your next post, I'll believe your criticism.

its overly simplistic.like one "verse" should be like one or two lines....u didnt take the idea far enough for me.then u just throw something in at the end where u were going with it the whole time.but u should have elaborated more.
it was just too short,too simple,vocab was just very elementary.i'm guessing u were trying to be unique so i'll give u a point for that

correct me if i'm wrong,cuz i always fuckin hated poetry in school but i believe u are tryin to say u're a dog inside n u wanna fuck around but u cant cuz of ur chick i mean.......i just think u could have done more with the idea of it....................................

Actually, your breakdown is completely opposite.

It's about having fucked another girl while being in a relationship and the feeling of regret you have to keep a secret.

But nice try, I'll give you a point for that.

actually whats in ur mind n what u actually wrote down do not coincide.
that is why i said u should have said more......................................maybe to u it made sense but to me it was just soundin like u wanted to fuck around.

edit** i guess once u explain it i can kind of see where u were going,but u shouldnt really have to explain a poem

it's always nice knowing the writer can understand his own poetry and know what hes trying to say..... :rolleyes:

I put him in there myself
Thinking it would be fine,
But I was wrong.
I wasn't misled
Or unconscious,
Nor intoxicated
So I'd have an excuse.
I put him in there myself,
I wasn't thinking of you.

^ I think that pretty much sums up that something happened and it's not a feeling of wanting to do something.

But once again, nice try.

or one can interpret that as the IDEA or THOUGHT of wanting to cheat......

And Wtf @ Rv now having another Poetry of choice.

Slam Poetry...

If you're an idiot.


I put him in there myself

That's a doing word, not a thinking of doing word.

yeah u can put an idea or thought into your own head too fucktard

Well thanks for taking the time to discipline us all at Rv about Vocabulary.

Not in the context that was written in.

But I forgot that you wrote it and you know exactly what it's about.

see u ask for criticism then when u dont get what u want u bitch like a girl.i'm telling u what it sounded like to me.i dont care what u meant to say,poetry can be taken in different ways.
my interpretation can go with it too

You're welcome, hopefully you fucking learned something.

Ill be sure to remind myself of that when writing.

Maybe you should write a book.

Adams Vocabulary lessons 101.

I'm not bitching, I'm explaining it to your simple mind.

I already knew you'd misinterpret it, I don't give a fuck.

The actual poetry heads dig it and understand it. You think some fat cunt who doesn't write not understanding it is going to shake me?

Hahaha, no.

Just trying to educate you, sorry you took it the wrong way.

holy fuck i didnt know u'd get so fuckin butthurt dude.....fuck online poetry heads......when u're a poet u should write shit all ppl like n understand.....n dont tell me there arent plenty of folk who'd interpret it the other way too
anyway i'm out

^agree with this.........just ban poetic..................

oh How cute Bushy Brows has a new Dickrider...... :love:

and are you mad my Girl never called you when you PM'd her your number trying to hook up with her? Rofl

L
O
L

"Mommy, all the kids at school are picking on my fat ass" - J. Roy probz