This was feedback posted for Paranoid
 

pollzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

.......................uppppppppppp...........pppp pppppuuuuuuu......

vvvvvvvooooooooooottttttttttteeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

this is g-a-y................................upppp

This was feedback posted for Paranoid
 

checkin pollz......................................

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uuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppppppppppp................

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Voted For: Sin`cere

Paranoid-Decent peice.Content wuz pretty good.Didn't have a storyline that would grasp the reader and make him want more.Just wuzn't..interesting enuff for me.And your rhyming..well..the words you rhymed..like.

invisibility/responsibility....mentality/fatality...agony/integrity..annualize/apologize...

Rhyming these words just doesn't cut it for me.And as you can see..the problem is that your rhyming the ending of the words.And me..personally..I hate that.Cuz when you rhyme your lines like that..it just means you accenting a lot.Accenting is good for maybe a couple of bars in a verse(max)..but not too much.

Sin 'Cere-Being as I thought you won..I'll tell you what you did right.U had a More creative approach to the topic here on your part.Rhyming wuz more cleared on your part..as u didn't have the accenting thing as Paranoid.I read it backwards too.Nice job on this peice.

Vote-Sin'cere
RTF BELOW IN 3 DAys...or THIS VOTE WILL BE REMOVED :thumbup:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=209188

^your vote "will" be removed for askin to rtf.

uppin for some better votes.

vvvvvvvvvvvvoooooooooooooottttttttttteeeeeeee..... ......

you are very dumb.This is RV...not RB.

and 2 more days left for the vote.

This was feedback posted for Paranoid
 

I just want to see what the polls are and shit.

Word.

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Voted For: Sin`cere

SIN`CERE - nice verse, a unique way of structuring it all, something I haven't seen done before. The flow was consistent throughout and you stayed on topic to all the way through. An interesting approach to the "Prized Possession" topic, not one I expected so props for that to. The vocabs was real nice throughout the piece, I think you had a nice balanced level of complexity. The emotion and imagery of your verse was real nice, made it so that the reader can picture the ideas you're trying to put across, overall one of your stronger pieces. [/B]8/10[/B]


PARANOID - a good piece, the overall flow was consistently good, you stayed on topic consistently to. the structure was damn near flawless, although the plain forced structure I find too basic and not really creative. The topic wasn't the ideal choice to use for creative ways of looking at it, but it was still good. Unfortunately you came with the predictable approach so you lose points for lack of creativity there to. The vocabs in places were nice, I feel they weren't that consistent though and got too elementary too often. The overall imagery and emotion wasn't really that strong either, and frankly I felt that your piece was just a little too 2-dimensional and lacked in anything original and good. 5/10

V/ - SIN`CERE

PLZ RTF!! LINK TO MY ONLY OPEN BATTLE IS IN MY SIGGY!!