The Chair-
 

Ah the ol reclining chair,man get up
This aint no fuckin hug-a-bear
rip out the reclines spine, now its mine
shove it up you'll behine, 10-a-11 times
splinnerd wood , cut you every way I could
rusty nail, plant it in ya forehead, an ya off ta hell.


nxt wep: Carolina Panthers

Carolina panthers hard to kill. tight ass defense
But if I were them kill ya like a fish ina beach net
I'd tack ya ass then slike ya head in
With my cleat hit you once, then hit ya again
I jus kicked ya ass like you was the Eagles
Time for the kill with my football and DEagle

Next- watch

I aint got no time fo fake "lyrics", so Im gonna steal this bitches watch instead/
dissamble his fake rolex and insert those Korean pieces in his head/
Gonna do it slowly like Im fuckn his girl, dead men cant feel any pain/
insert the minute hand in minute mans hand and then the second hand in his brain/
Watch'n you suffah is better then readn those punk "lyric's" you spittin/
what? you think you Timex bitch, lets see you take a lickn and keep on tickn/

Next - Kleenex

I kill your ass with a kleenex cause you a puffs..
Cut your ass with dull shit cause your not tuffs..
Plug your nows with the paper cause your done in..
Shit I'm like stone cold it's your ass I'm stun in..
Pluged your nose and nosterals with some Kleenex brand tissues..
Then I ask you like I way your dad, Son do you have some issuses..

Weapon=Wackness

EDIT: Guy above deleted his post it was 'playdoh'


Dregun,son ,stick with word puns and simple aliteration's.
Ye, I seen ya play'doh that ya bout in Da' whack m'all.
Didnt even mak'it to the parkin lot, before ya potted a sqot.
And ya' then come to me asken whats that "spoT"
Ripped of "silly sallys" left leg, rammed it through ya guts
Just ta hear ya beg, NOW go play with fuckin peg leg.
Silly sally playdoh has seen its last day.oh shit MAYDAY.....lol

heres a hard one:Lyric's Head

ill use the lyric's hard head as a fucking bowling ball
to lay down the ten midgets lined up in a triangle
hittin seven of them about ready to clean up with a spare
the lryic's head comes back up half there
his skull must of broken like a coconut on the human pins
so i ran down the alley and kicked them in the shins

next weapon: pack of 3 darts

EDIT: just void this one, someone take up from my comback to lyric's weapon.

Wielded rage, I'll kill ya with a strong head but
Use my head as a weapon? Man what the fuck
So I'll use force on ya, And also beat ya lyrically
Diss you down deep, and rip ya spiritually
My head is a weapon and I use it at will
Cause it filled with knowledge of how to kill

Next: A sandal

lyric, ill take your sandal and slap you in the face
over a thousand times works equivalant to mace
a thousand and one hits seems to be the magic number
you drop quick to the beach sand in the hot summer
i still got the sandal that cracked your neck bone
ill just stick it in the ground as a your tombstone

next: a toaster oven

Double M, wasup dawg, sry I gotta kill ya.
This outa be fun, this'll be a thrill, duh..
Grabbed ya toast'a oven, tore it open.
And smashed it ovea ya head, ya dead?
Ya body's Extremities lying limp like wet noodles.
That's too bad I broke ya oven.
now ya cant make toast'a strootles..



nxt wep: Elephant's Testicle :shocked:

..listen as im tellin-this story for the hell-of-it...
while i grab Missy Elliot and use her as my elephant/
i grab her by the balls and pull hard on her testicles...
then figured out that her nuts were inseperable!/
she had 2 ton balls but the weird thing is...
that she could drown a person just by takin a piss/
the bitch nearly killed me with her odor-and-stench...
cuz every time i touched her i got her overies-wet!/
so before i end this rhyme there is something i should mention...
an elephant testicle is a stupid ass weapon!!/

next weapon---> Blow Torch

you like the name of this weapon cause u think cock
a blow torch on my block, isnt getting grabbing balls like a headlock,
its fire and fury, held inside a gased cage,
let lose by a man with too much fucking rage.
so when i see you and im crunked out, a drunk ass alcoholic
ill torch ur ass at the nearest 76.

next weapon: wip

j-dilla your known as the joke killa
but after this cypher you should be know as the flow killa
your spit is so bad you only rhyme twice
out of 6 lines so let me give you some advice
i'll take this whip and choke you, catchin you by surprise
death by a black rope that should be your demise
this kid cant even spell, he's been whiped too many times
signin up to RB without even learnin his rhymes

im just playin j, you know

next weapon: coat hanger

i 'need2' hang you from a damn coat hanger in my closet
not from your shirt, but from your neck socket
let you live, liftin you off of the medal hanger
and untwine it into a strait line stickin it up your dick while u sit in the hamper
you better get off my fucking clothes even though they are dirty
i dont need blood and tears all over my laundry

next weapon: blowdryer

a blow dryer? what the fuck would i do witta blow dryer?//
i aint got no hair! whoops you caught me i guess ima known liar//
cause i got hair i just wouldnt bother to use it//
id rather gel my hair straight ina mohawk an listen to alternative music//
ill find alternative uses for this useless device//
plugged in ill drown myself wit you in water an kill myself twice//

Next Weapon: Yourself

so you say you want me to kill you using only myself
taking you and slowly breaking down your heath
while you sit there thinking that you are "eleete"
but in my eye's you are nothing but obsolete
an inferior design, with wack rhymes
that I keep on hearing all the time
so for me to kill you would be a blessing to everyone
ill use myself to pull out a gun...BANG.....your done

Next Weapon: a fountain pen

I write deadly rhymes that go to ya head
Fuck ya up with my fountain pen
Stab ya in the eye or through the throat
If ya ever fuck wit me or you ever try to gloat
I rip Emcees whether on the mic or in text
Can't fuck wit me and my pen, were the best

Next: Zippo

^^^In reference to Need2Flow^^^
You need to watch who you talk to you Newb//
Cause the only inferior design here is you, its true//
Like this Fountain Pen that im stabbing in you//
Ill let the ink seep in your veins an flow through you//
Next time stay close to the rhyme scheme//
Your supposed to rap about yourself, not to try an deny me//
Cause your mad that im an iller Emcee//
Its ok you can try.........but you'll never be like me//

Next Weapon: Carrots

Care'rits?,killin emcee's wit fake spits.
Peelin rappers, with bad wits.
Dude that weapon sux and I declare it.
atleast my rhymes work and'r fare writ'
Put'a karrot in the freezer, till gets real hard.
stab ya neck, cuz ya draw'ed tha' wrong card.





Zippo, burnt the ass of hipp'o
Niggah took off runn'in real fast.
Bitch plowed straight through ya ass't
Knocked you back into phat past
Went back to 1st day in gym class.
You so dumb you couldnt even pass that.



nxt wep: skeet throw'er (the thing that pitchs skeets for you, so you can shoot them with a shotgun) for those of you that dont know

I feel winter breezes like antarctic winds
falling like a tree branch coming off limbs
niggas are coming trying to ski on da slick ice
give me da skeet thrower and i'll shoot twice
loaded up and cocked back like a 44 glock
enough to start a cold war and make it hot
don't ever try and miss any of da bullseye targets
now da skeet thrower is bombing you hard bricks

next weapon: pitchfork

ima stab ak with the pitchfork he left me in the chest
to pick that weapon he's obviously an ugly hick from the mid west
ill take the fork and make some modifications
peelin 4 of the pricks down to say "fuck you" in sign language
tryin to insert the only prick left into where your heart goes
but it keeps gettin blocked by the button on your overall clothes
so stay over in the mid west where you belong
and not mess with a man from the west where beaches are filled with thongs

next weapon: tissue box

ill fuck u up/
with a paper cut/
by this tissue box/
that i got/
ready to get torn again/
to bust up some fake eminems/
like ya self, steadly gettin delt/
by this burnin tissue box that melts/


not much to do with a tissue box.....u know

next weapon: ya bare hands

Yo 10 fingers 2 palms, these things are just deadly,
Don't face up against this bruce-lee cat until your completely ready,
Cuz im known to slay fools, with these here BARE HANDS,
used for fighting, wacking off, and grabbing mic stands,
my knuckles are enormous, from decking fools left and right,
Give you the ONE TWO, to the dome piece, eliminating your sight

oops
 

i forgot to leave a weapon, the next one is.......
a toothpick

hey sorry i didn't just edit my first post and add the next topic, i didn't even know you could

I’ll need bare hands to destroy your bare rhymes
tear them apart everyone of your 8 lines
and when I’m done with them I’ll do the same to you
tearin you limb from limb, turning you red, black, and blue
but before im good and ready to dismiss you
I’d like to keep on flowin just to diss you
because when i saw you post i just saw an easy target
a bargain buy at any local food market
so next time you spit can you try a little harder
actin like a soldier when you’ve just became a martyr

Next Weapon: washing machine

I did both weapons to straighten things out..dang brotha' mods are gonna be pissed you didnt just edit youre last post Dro'

Toothpick and Washing Machine
Yo, Stabbed ya eye out with t-pick
Through in the washa shine, show ya'a neat trick.
Add powder, hot water,and sick wit.
Back and forth ya cant quit turn'in
Its ya life for which youre yern'in
Oh wait a sec I left the dry'er runn'in....




Nxt Wep : Rusty Saw Blade...killem niggahs

now I see dat wielded rage don't wield weapons
making him look like he caught an HIV infection
my rusty saw blade grinds and shrieks siren sounds
I'll cut his fucking head off like 5 dietary lost pounds?
sharpen my rusty saw blade till it's adjacent
cut wielded rage's body as if I was shaving


next weapon:CD

Im kill ya with a fuckin CD...
Break it apart,throw a piece at each knee.
hold'in it at the right angle toward's da sun.
burnin ya' fuckin eyes out,man this is fun.
Now that you cant see,along wit two broken knees.
Throw in a an arm bar, make ya ass beg please.



nxt wep: Used Condom

I'll use a trojan condom as many different things
probably not no gun then a niggas nut shot sling
finding expired condoms in my wallet to make you suffocate
blow on it like a ballon dis bitch better learn to try appreciate
floating in hot air with nothing but underwear on
standing right there not to stare is dat tampons?

next weapon:toothbrush

fuckface leave a weapon. ^ i saw u talk mad shit in a battle thread but u suck.

how about....a.................rusty screw driver

wu tang styles i'd grab ya tongue and repeatedly jab the shit
trying cyphers givin a new meaning...to "take a stab at it"
I ad lib sparatic....rapid slashes....seein more blood then Tyson
Cuz too bad for you...im puncin holes...w/o a piercing liscense
Finally, this wack emcee's tongue is stabbed....rendered useless
By now im gettin into this shit....even pulled the handle through it
Ya knew it...a punishment for a forgetfull fag now go run with it
Now that im done massacring ya wit a screw driver...
....lets see if i screw will fit.

next weapon: paper. for paper cutting.

I'll do both weapons once again to straighen shit out...

Taka' toothbrush and lil bit'a paper
Pull'a ma'guy'va an make a auto rhyme raper..
Now my rhymes rape'ya turn ya ta vape'a
Sick ill shit automacticlly spitted..
I dont even try now, its just ma weapons witted..
Oh shit I think my battery's loooow..
Damn, now my rhmyes are gettin sloooow.



nxt wep: Battle Axe..always fun

I'll use my battle Axe and let you try and advance
chop off your head like a chicken doing da dance
my weapons jus like Soul Calibur, but you still alive?
I guess you wanna have to scream before you die
i'm your executor and last color you seen is red
with a dismembered body including your head

next weapon: grenade

STOP, Throw off my back sack.
Reach in, pull out ma fukin Grenade pack..
Wipe the sweat off ma chin, grip the pin.
Man you know how long its been....
Last thing you'll see is bits of frag metals..
*!!BOOM!!*
Now youre in hell pickin satan's flower petals.

^DAMN THAT SHIT WAS TIGHT^..lol

nxt weapon: Cattle Prod

Look at this kid mooin like he knew..
Hit him with the cattle prod he's threw..
I know this cow is mine cause he's branded..
He's got the diseas that makes him stranded..
Take him to the slaughter house to spil his brain..
Let his own daughter pull the trigger to ease her pain..
But he's already dead, a cattle prod stuck in his head..
A cow that was over fed, got a diseas with no med..

Next Weapon = Remot

With my universal remote I sign on to your channel
I reached murder she wrote and your names on the panel
The victim of fantasy and an overactive womans imagination
Hit the mute n let me listen 2 the body language of the generation
This is getting boring watching you get abused in evry thriller evry hour
So time to let you die in the receses of my mind after trigger finger hits power
The bell tolls for you my friend join your TV classics your first pilot didnt make it

WEAPON:HATRED

im accused of crimes protected by due process
you commercial emcees and my opinions of how it progressed
you ruined the good name of hip-hop and sick beats
shit when we bumped, nobody would know it in the streets
but now it seems like hip-hop is all detrimental
bling bling, ice, cars, and platinum in the dental,
my hate for what is fake reenacting instrumentals,
echoing it in the tracks and sampling like it’s a rental.
you fake emcee, hip-hop world needs to reiterate,
what hip-hop is now, its new progression brings me to tears
springing from the original founders, hip-hop it needs a new slate
Originated from true hip-hop started by pioneers.

Fuck mainstream.
Fuck commercial.
Fuck the fake.
_________________________________

J-Dilla the Killa.

Next Weapon: Paper