^lol, yea i just thought that this wasnt just one of those, "shit in my pants" stories, this one was extra special, so i had to up the ante n throw in the ceiling part lol

LMFAO...

GAWD DAMN IT!!!

Now this is entertainment. I read the whole gawd damn thing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAA LMAO LMFAO......LOTFL...LOL..ROFL..OMG................. .........HhAHAHAHAHA

LLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOO O
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA
LLLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAOO OOO

that "shyt" was fuckin halarious.....
A week prior, after Jaime consented to buttsex, I realized that I didn’t have any idea how to do it. How exactly do you fuck a girl in the ass? Luckily, I had the world’s best anal sex informational resource at my disposal: The gay waiter. I consulted several gay waiters who worked at one of my parents restaurants about the mechanics of buttsex, and each one recommended AstroGlide as the lubricant of choice. Much to my dismay, I learned that spitting on your dick is not enough lube for buttsex. Stupid, lying porn movies.


The other important piece of advice I remembered was from Calvin, “Make sure you use enough, because if this is her first time, she’ll be especially tight, and it might hurt her. Use enough to really loosen her up and go slow until she gets used to it. Then it’s smooth sailing from there.”

Well, since some is good, more is better, right? At 21, this seemed logical.


I opened the cap, crammed the bottle top into her asshole, and squeezed. I probably emptied half of the 4-ounces of AstroGlide into her. I have since learned from homosexuals that a 4-ounce bottle usually lasts them about 6 months. So yeah--I overdid it.


But I wasn’t done. Oh no, after depositing enough grease in her to run a Formula One racecar, I dumped half of what remained onto my cock and balls, really wanting to lube up because I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable.


Really--consider my thought process: I was going to fuck her in the butt and film it without her consent, yet I was truly concerned about her personal comfort. Sometimes the contradictions in my personality even amuse me.



LLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

llolololololmaorofl
Great story but why'd you post this at a rap site?

lololmao

You vomited in her arse.

lmfao......... that's so nasty god damn. but lmao was a good laugh. lmao.... i doubt you wrote it tho. but lmao... damn........

hilarious, long and hilarious

best thread ever..........upped

Mad old...I've read this months ago. Its on some guy's website.

too bad it was fake....... lol

i dont care if its fake or not....when i read it.....i laughed for like an hour

^i kno, who gives a fuck if it's old. it's soo funny. lmao

ive never read this b4,...had me in stitches, best text ive read in a long time..
.
.
my gut hurts from laughin so much...damn, that was funny...

Tucker has done better. =\

god damn ike brining back the relics lmao. I thougt "BaM!" posted again cuz this aliases posts are usually pretty god damn hillarious.