And this one Bushy brows.

Spoken Truth
My inner conscious eating my every thought, you're my dream.
Only thing to hug me, is my tears down my cheek.
And To find my inner self I need you.
Not only did I lose myself, but I lost you.
In life I thought I had it but didn't.
Minute to minute fades to gray from a split image.
Pictures seep through to love as the melody does.
Capture it in your palm grasp it the way it was.
Life leads through so many obstacles a personal war.
Enter your heart to find it find me and what you live for.
Like stars in the night so bright reflect to give me light.
Given battles that I'll continue to fight.

Now fuck off Adam.

I hope you get hit by a fucking bus.

I won't break them down, but you can't half ass a poem better than everybody here.

i'm not a poetry head but i can see that he can half ass a poem better then u,especially seeing that u think that dog shit is the best u got

thats old shit Adam shit i wrote when i 1st got into poetry.

I don't think it's the best I got, I keyed it off the dome and if you can explain it to me in your next post, I'll believe your criticism.

its overly simplistic.like one "verse" should be like one or two lines....u didnt take the idea far enough for me.then u just throw something in at the end where u were going with it the whole time.but u should have elaborated more.
it was just too short,too simple,vocab was just very elementary.i'm guessing u were trying to be unique so i'll give u a point for that

correct me if i'm wrong,cuz i always fuckin hated poetry in school but i believe u are tryin to say u're a dog inside n u wanna fuck around but u cant cuz of ur chick i mean.......i just think u could have done more with the idea of it....................................

Actually, your breakdown is completely opposite.

It's about having fucked another girl while being in a relationship and the feeling of regret you have to keep a secret.

But nice try, I'll give you a point for that.

actually whats in ur mind n what u actually wrote down do not coincide.
that is why i said u should have said more......................................maybe to u it made sense but to me it was just soundin like u wanted to fuck around.

edit** i guess once u explain it i can kind of see where u were going,but u shouldnt really have to explain a poem

it's always nice knowing the writer can understand his own poetry and know what hes trying to say..... :rolleyes:

I put him in there myself
Thinking it would be fine,
But I was wrong.
I wasn't misled
Or unconscious,
Nor intoxicated
So I'd have an excuse.
I put him in there myself,
I wasn't thinking of you.

^ I think that pretty much sums up that something happened and it's not a feeling of wanting to do something.

But once again, nice try.

or one can interpret that as the IDEA or THOUGHT of wanting to cheat......

And Wtf @ Rv now having another Poetry of choice.

Slam Poetry...

If you're an idiot.


I put him in there myself

That's a doing word, not a thinking of doing word.

yeah u can put an idea or thought into your own head too fucktard