Nostradamus - "10 Deadly Venoms" (170 Bars)
 

Aiight, this is it.
Pre-release version of my 10 deadly venoms track. 170 bars straight, no punch-ins, no fix-ups, etc etc..

www.soundclick.com/nostradamus1

Recorded with my shitty home set-up, fuck quality whores that got something to say about that.. It is a condenser and pre-amp, but I've only just started using it, so it aint studio quality by any means... Any tips would be greatly apreciated..

A point thats being brought up about my delivery that I thought I should address also, is that when you are rapping 170 bars without stopping, you end up with shitloads of spit hocked up in your mouth, so if it seems like it gets a bit sloppy.. Its cause I basically practiced it 5 or 6 times then rapped it straight up.. And yes, my throat was hurting...

So dont go too harsh on delivery while ya critequing this shit.. And also remember this is the first time I've done a track thats 100+ bars, so I aint canibus or nothing.... But yeah.. Thats all.

I will be doing my proper version in a week or so closer to the cd release.. And by then I will have had a lot more time to practice.

The beat line up is as follows:

1) Eminem - Role Model
2) Nas - Street Dreams
3) Canibus - Get Retarded
4) Tupac - Thugz Mansion
5) Wutang - C.R.E.A.M.
6) Dr. Dre - Fuck You
7) Jedi Mind Tricks - Saviorself
8) De La Soul - Trouble in the water
9) Necro - No Tomorrow
10) Talib Kweli - Get by

Enjoy--

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=215985
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=215798

1st of all...WTF @ u startin to sound like Enygma with an accent...hmmm

u used to sound like PAC...

2nd off...I imagine the beat changes are good...BUt, I just remember sittin here thinkin, "How long am I gonna have to sit through this"...sorta like being in class


3rd of all...I like that 3rd beat...I'd FUCK IT UP royally


As to your flow...It's a nice flow...but ur Delivery is monotonous for the most part


Also...I have NO IDEA what u were sayin in a couple spots cuz my attention span kept waning

I like when it switched to the 4th or 5th beat and ur flow started soundin TUpac-ish again... I liked that lil part


Ur have some pretty nice rhyming...but it's rather predictable...That's not a bad thing...Im saying ur consistent with ur scheme...However, to hold someone's like MY attention, you have to throw curves in there, which you didn't do much of


**MOST kids on RV can't listen to a 2 minute track without staring off into space...So, ur track will not be appreciated fully in that sense


..............I know that I can write 170 bars, but my voice would literally go HOARSE after the 80th bar


So, for that I applaud you...good job


AFter about 5 minutes of listening to this track...It grows weary on u cuz ur delivery is the same after the Tupac-break


ur flow is def. nice though...


As for mic presence...it's decent...but, u shud seriously consider dubbing ur voice...it'll bring out ur voice more...and I cud hear some of the "noise redux" or processing in ur vocals early on...That's probably due to a lack of production...it wasn't bad, but noticeable


I hope you appreciate me listening to this long ass track...I'm typing as I listen


I love the GET BY beat, BTW


You have nice lines here and there...But, I'd probably notice more if your delivery could hold my attention better


and game spit 300???? LAWD HAVE MERCY


this is a valiant effort that could have been classic with
A) Better Production
B) Better delivery


nice though



1


RTF bitch or I will cut ur DICK OFF!
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=216041

haha.,..j/P




I'll CHOP IT!

I'll be dubbing it for the cd version.. (It says pre-release in my post)

But yeah thanks... I might even end up re-doing this for the actual cd in a week or so.. By then I will of practiced it a lot more and do a better job.. But cats wanted to hear some shit so I threw this together early...

^^^I imagine this trumps 7/3s 80 bar thing

which means SOMEONE has to come with 200 BARS



muhahahahaaa


U upped the ANTE, so to speak


u sexy Australian BITCH!

200 Bars will be for my first professional album after I get on a contract......

im kinda with q on this, with all the talk u was chattin bout ur skill i was expecting alot better, a few times u sounded like u struggled for breath slightly aswell, and im sure a couple times u sounded like u hesitated n sounded un-sure about the next line, n that made ur flow seem abit sketchy at times, but it was mostly flowin well, but yeah delivery is VERY boring, lyrics are ok, u have the rhyme scheme instead of wat most these kids do n rhyme the end of the lines n thats about it, but ur flow didnt seem to switch up that much, especially for a track like this, u need to keep it changin as much as possible, i was expectin this to be alot better cos of how u hyped this and urself up, but i was also expectin worse, if that makes sense, thats cos i thought u was one of them kids who does jack but chat shit, so i was pleasantly surprised, ur decent but not as big as u claim.

my advice would be re-record it, try switch ur lines up abit to change ur flow up alot more, add more variation to your delivery, ur prsence is good, but delivery is boring, erm also there are the odd spots here n there that sound rushed, so maybe try listen to it and pick out the lines/phrases that sound rushed... but over-all for a rough a version its good, if this was final product id be pretty dissapointed

Yeah, I aint practiced it enough.. And I was going off memory for the lyrics.. It aint exactly easy remembering 170 bars dude.. But next week I'll be re-doing the final version for my cd. So I'll def be putting up a better effort for that.

cool, didnt kno u memorised them, if u dnt feel u have them fully nailed down to put 100% in, keep the paper infront of u literally just skim it as ur spittin ur verse, ud be surprised at how much it helps on perfectin, os ur not actually readin, ur just glancin at the odd word here n there and it jogs ur memory, thats what i find anyway

I put it down to lazyness..
I still have a bit of writing to do on the rest of the cd.. This is just what I put together for a pre-release version cause most the rest of the tracks need hooks and shit...

Cats wanted to hear me drop something.. So here it is.
I actually dont think it turned out as bad as you were making out.. Near the end, if youve ever tried spitting for that long without stopping.. You get big spit balls hocked up blocking your throat, thats probably what you were talking about with the delivery problems...

Try it yourself, I bet you'll have the same problems.

interesting...i was thinkin about this...even if NOS varies the delivery on this track, even THAT will become monotonous...iz like no track is supposed to be that long without breaks...it's like a song with no hook



1

Triple N said I should do a bridge at one or two points back while I was still writing this.. Which I still might be doing, but cats will have to wait till the CD is done to see what new shit I do to this track.

I agree with Triple for the sake of Musicality


but yo...my hat off to ya...when I tried to flow 80 bars straight, I got cotton mouth and almost choked to death

lol...then I put somethin in my mouth to keep it watery...

Wait...dat sounds.....NVM


anyway....if I ever attempt this, I'll have a MEDIC on stand by


P.S. I developed the concept for my Back 2 da future track...the producer of the beat said, "NIGGA U CRAZY...U AINT MAKIN A MOVIE"
haaaaaa


peace bitch :hump:

LOL
Yeah, I get that.. Its real tricky to keep yaself from fucking up cause of all the spit in ya mouth.. But I got pretty good at cause I honestly rapped this 7 times to practice the lyrics so I could do it without them infront of me..

Cause their on my comp, and I like to be standing up while I record so I cant keep scrolling down the screen while I'm rapping -_-

^^print Them Out






1

I dont have a printer...

lol...dat sucks man


and I wud hate to have to transcribe 170 bars by hand


ugh


get ya self a printer nigga

Yeah sure... I'll just go buy one with all the money I dont have......

man...shhhh

u ever hear the expression, "Act like you've been there"


:thumbup:


lemme cloggin ur thread up

This is really sick u actually sound like Kool G. Rap to me best I've heard on this site so far

the version you sent me, at 3:00 min in, you can hear msn in the background....lmlo, but this is tight, i like the part when "welcome to the business" comes on....and this line

My mission to prove, peace as an attainable goal
Imagine what would happen if you gave it your all

and the jedi mind tricks beat, that part is sweet..."That peeps rewind & play this shit on repeat, infinatly"....word, good shit man, are you done the better version yet?

don't worry about quality this shit is dope and something that has replay value nonetheless

Listening...

Intro was nice and dark...

Lovin the way the beats change up and the way you just keep flowing...

Flow was nice...you changed it up with every beat...liked that.

I still think you sound sorda like Pac...

The thing that needed work the most was the delivery in some parts...it was on and off...some times it sounded really forced in a sense.

Overall, good track. Keep it up.

sick shit man...ur flow is PIMP..voice is SICK bro...u flow over to the other beats real nice too...DL'n this shit...

this is real nice...nuff said........ya ur right quality wasn't all that great but you def. got mad better

Word, mad props to everyone whos sayin they liked it..

And yeah drakel man, msn is fucken annoying.. If you notice theres even a signing on notice muffled in the background of this version at one point ----____----

ive actually spat for longer, freestyle but still done it, n yes i kno exactly what u mean, but still early on ur delivery started monotonous n it carried on that way pretty much

Partly due to the mic duke...

Interesting intro wasnt that in a movie or something..............

Eminem beat..- flow was aight kinda changed you voice a little, u using too many sylables in one line...so flow is off and on but ....it was aight.....alot of multi's beat changes was nice..well done....aussie accent is there...but u doing ya thang....lyrics were complex i expected that from you..u came good on Thug Mansion beat....i was feeling that one out of all...and also Talib beat was cool..

is about time yo ass gets back on track wit tha audio..lol since ya been lazy to do shit..welcome bizack foo..

blah i aint gon lie it was ight...but not dope enough for u ta diss my shit like u aint gon get shit spit back in ur face any harder...im gettin told that my vioce sounds gay from a kid thats tryin ta sound like pac and sucks at it...u read ur feedback that shit just proves it...i wouldnt of said shit if u wouldnt of said shit so dont even bother ta type back to this shit unless i deserved it

Bro.. You need to elevate BIG TIME.. You voice did sound whiney and gay.. I was being compleatly honest with you, I'm guessing your real young and thats why it sounded the way it did... Take it or leave it..

Otherwise stop bullshitting around in my thread little kid... Learn to handle the truth.

this
shit
is
dope
as
fuck!

And Im goin through readin some of your replies and ALOT of people are not givin you the props that are due.
But I am goin to say just from this 1 track that your accent is the most tolerable, I actually really didnt even hear an accent - or didnt pay attention to it.
But you're MOS DEF better than leady , and alot of other UK cats here.

well guess what i aint gon fuckin lie..but that not how i sound really i just did it wack...and shut the fuck up..atleast i aint tryin ta sound like pac and i aint namin myself after Nas..get off their nutz and get ur own style..no wonder ur so much older than me and havent blown up yet bitch

^YEAH,That's another thing I wanted to comment on.
People said he sounds like Pac, I dont see how he does.

and Nostradamos was a famous philsopher too, just incase you didn't know

i said he's TRYIN ta sound like pac and SUCKS AT IT...and anotha person already thought of namin themself after that so aint like this kids bein original...

well, thats your opinion.
YOU THINK he's tryin to sound like Pac.
I dont
Im not a tupac fan, so if he was tryin to sound like Pac, I wouldnt have liked this track
but I do like it.

yea will like i said it was ight...i didnt lie..i dont let beef get in the way but i aint goin farther than that wit this bitch..this shit is strictly personal

Yo thanks man..

Your actually the type of person who I thought wouldnt like this shit...

So word...

^^yea that right u shut up now

Cause your a gay cunt and not worth a reply dipshit..

What.......Your expecting me to beef with your dumbass? You really think your THAT important to me?

Take a big snort of reality kiddo..