Drakel vs artística~Mente
Battle Rules:
20-30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topical-Love without Romance. G-luck. :thumbup: Minimum posts to vote: 400 Check in by: 06-03-05 at 01:44 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Drakel has ACCEPTED this battle on 06-03-05 12:55 PM.
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art-stica~Mente has ACCEPTED this battle on 06-03-05 12:57 PM.
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Love Without Romance
aight, here's the finished product, gl sakim.her in my arms, the day passes slowly, she told me a story every word charms a holy harmony in a soothing, magnificent glory i cling to every breath taken, pure voice relieves, nothing left aching a spirit so alive, with ease, she even leaves the knees of death shaking lying on the floor, i explore my thoughts for what my souls been craving before you entered my life, it was always a war to keep my core from caving but your adored embrace performed miracles to a face formed around doubt and your compassion fashions life, actions illustrate what loves warmth is all about the allure of those eyes, where dreams are born from a stare so mature and wise crying tears as pure as the skies, yet still strong enough to endure goodbyes smooth hair, flowing endlessly with a soothing glare as it moves through air and a scent so delightful, excites my lively hood and removes despair as if done without a care, consistent grace, like its a neural duty and any clothes you place on, only decorates your already natural beauty its moving, you create an atmosphere so perfect, theres nothing to debate as if my life blooms new happiness from your bliss that fits ideally in place and when i reminisce on the past, passed possibilites i may have missed it all eclipses from that one thought when our lips first joined to kiss and amidst the mist of my life, i admit that majority has left me pissed but with you in the mix, i've finally been able to script reasons to exist mezmorizing qualities, this beautiful dream come true has me living in a trance and understand you've already enhanced my stance on life, just by giving me a chance and i suppose this verse shows my rose of love blossoms solely from romance but all this arose to inspire flows of truth..... just from a lone glance ________________________________ |
Sitting in my chair, looking around me, the emptiness, creeps me. The sun shine through my curtains, sneaking it’s way in like a thieve My soul and my heart, in a sad turmoil that I will not forget, hunted forever I can’t believe I was hypnotize by you, and tightly bound in your spell till December Yes I still feel your flesh, your lips, but your heart was in flowers that lurks a snake You was so Ice cold, turn my heart and my life upside down, I was being baked I shake my head in denial, as my tears zig zag coursing it self down my cheeks You was like an robber, had the key’s to my heart, and you took it and you flee I felt like, I was an midget myself getting so small, when I saw the outcome I thought we had something special. Just thinking about it, is sickening my rectum The lust, the romance, the pleasure we’ve spent together was all a….fake My heart is incapacitate, in pieces, stick in glue, it’ll forever stay…break My eyes drip in red, with angry veins coursing to my pupil…How could you? I loved you…our heart was red, our future was violet, and here you stand blue. As the smoke swirled in front of my face, I relax, feeling my nerves going calm Sees the white color pressure, desperate for oxygen collapsing in your palm Your love was all fake, the lust was all fake, even YOU was all fake, it disgust me You was a snake, that lurked in flowers, pending when to make it’s strike on thee The poisonous creep itself in me, and like acid, it melted everything even my heart I can’t believe I had sex and shared beautiful memories or even loved that’s sex apart . . Sitting in my car, as the night lurks above me, I see you, walking with a person that’s not me Shocked to see you, holding him, talking to him and even kissed, I wished my eyes were deceive Vexation crept in me, slowly, my stomach turn and ached, my face went red, signaling the sadness The more heavily I breathed, the more I wish my predictions didn’t come true, but it did. “FUck ish” You and him both walked into the house, the anger again in a rising temperature, I saw your hands Fingers touching his waist, reaching for the belt buckle, your tongue locked into his…. “omg man” Without even thinking or hesitating I walked into the house, the eruption of the door, made you jumped I saw the terror and disbelieve on your face, and I just snapped, pulled my pocket knife out ……………………………….............. ........Then your head felt un-straight it was very well slump As the sun shines above me, my anger went down like an deflate balloon, but I was still shocked at this It was all love but no romance, you played me a fool, talking a about fool,……you wasn’t even a bitch |
Lets get some vote's in this biaaaaaaatch Uppin..........................
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uppin.............................................
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This was feedback posted for Drakel
Dope battle by the both of you. I'm just checking the polls..
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Upp this shit to the fucking roof!...................Let's get some votes.
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^^ What I said.............................................. ...............................
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up this through the chimmney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cool:
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Uppin to the north pole.............................................. ........................
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Voted For: Drakel
TWEETY-your verse was good, imagery was soli, vocab could be better n your flow was off in alot of areas, but you kept to the topic which was key.all in all good verse, but i think you gotta work on your emotion, try to protray more of it in ya pieces........good verse........pz . . . drakel-dope vere, i was impressed with the majority of ya piece, it was solid throughout but you didnt end it as well as i was hoping...but you did keep to the topic overall n didnt stray to far.... . overall i gotta go with drakel, he had the slightly better drop no hate, both came well in this topic...good work... please rtf on nos n mines topical.....both of you..pz |
Alright.............uppin for some more votes................
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Voted For: art-stica~Mente
this was a dope battle i enjoyed both peices alot... both did a good job but it comes down to this... Drakel: this was a good piece, very emotional you had good vocab, flow was amazing on this good job, you just lack the experiance that u need but it is a good piece, i felt u stayed on track throughout your whole verse well done, here is 1 line i felt stood out from the rest: its moving, you create an atmosphere so perfect, theres nothing to debate as if my life blooms new happiness from your bliss that fits ideally in place ^^ this blew me away litterally, it give me the image that its all peceful and happy... nice good job man just keep dropping em and you will be one of the top topicals writers on this site... Tweety: what can i say u never fail to drop dope, emotion is always deep and always anger lol, i like reading your topicals... vocab is good, flow is ight not too bad but its a little choppy in places, you always go deep down into the subject which is always a plus, you take things further than most people would good job... here is one line i felt stood out from the rest: My eyes drip in red, with angry veins coursing to my pupil…How could you? I loved you…our heart was red, our future was violet, and here you stand blue. ^^ this is a dope image of being angry using colours lol very creative... ight good job tweety keep droppin them things man... imma give this to tweety for having a more emotional piece, better images of whats going on and better vocab... drakel you did good fam but i thought tweeties was better no hate pzz |
Uppin this bitch.........................................
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aighty, good battle we got going here tweet, props to ya.
i'll get at returning shit later, im out for a bit. |
^^ Coo, Uppin this battle...............................
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I Am Mortal Combat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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uppin............................................. ..
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This was feedback posted for Drakel
Nyce battle, maybe u shuld stick 2 this, more suited 2 ur style ya know?
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^ lol, its funny because you got owned by a topical head, hahahahhahaha
yeah, i own you in everything man....how bout after our rematch, we battle topically i hadn't done text in almost 3 months, and still managed to key something up and own you, that is hilarious! anyways, bump |
Quote:
:nono: :nono: :nono: |
shizzle, tweet knows how it is..................up
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Bump this up[..........................................
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Voted For: art-stica~Mente
Drakel[b]: beautiful and touching piece right here, may not have been the most original one but the emotion simply poured out. You kept the vocab rather simple but that gave it a serene vibe. Imagery was there but not that much, it's more an emotional piece. I was feeling the flow, had some multis and similar sound expressions which improved it. [b]Tweety: wonderful piece in my opinion, the emotion was so strong and pure, it poured out of every line. Like how your story developed, especially the last part was good storywise. You managed to combine both imagery and emotion, flow was off here and there but overall it was okay. Vocab was nice Vote goes to Tweety because of the stronger combination of imagery and emotion, no hate though Drakel |
Thanx hun uppin this...............................
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bump..............................................
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Bumpity Bump Bump.........................................
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how gay is that -_-............................................
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