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Twisted Brain Cells
Some say I'm sadistic, twisted and gruesome to the fullest measure My joy of watching pain has been included to my sickest pleasures Inferior flames get wrote down as letters when they burn into my eyes One day I agree with the devil next day I turn to the sky Schizophrenic minds have been handed down to me through my genes An elaborate and systematic plan of actions conclude my schemes Get abused in dreams like a more horrific style of Friday the 13th Kill em cold blooded without a clue of death in my techniques Give my trust the wrong in promise to make it all right Incites and provoke ness of the greats are to obey my likes Hallucinations has me chasing an alias that so many believe Praise someone nameless and in there minds they perceive A figment of imagination that someone might of created No proof or miracles have happened in my life for me to be related Desecrated situations leave me standing in the graveyards Same card dealt leave my veins demanding a big brave heart Pains dark and for me the light will not and has never shone Blame my own conscience of acceptance and now I'm standing alone |
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I liked this, it was good. It flowed really well for me and i liked the topic too. The vocab and imagery were really well done also. The only thing i didnt like was the long lines, but thats just my opinion. But good job anyways. Please RTF on any of the links in my sig. Peace.
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Damn mami this was a really good drop i was really feeling the emotions and feelings going into this peice...Flow was on point it all flowed very well together..structure was good but that "red" font hurts my eyes but yea nice job.
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Sup ma this was well dope it was a good read.. it had really deep emotions..
really good flow and vocab. The close was my fav bit,.. this was a nice verse ma keep em coming. 1~ |
Schizophrenic minds have been handed down to me through my genes
An elaborate and systematic plan of actions conclude my schemes Get abused in dreams like a more horrific style of Friday the 13th Kill em cold blooded without a clue of death in my techniques nice yo.. coo imagery strangely enuff your thinking in rhyming and imagery seems very similar to mine in certain aspects.. so i'd like to maybe write a piece with you some time if your around.. i got a piece down the page a lil if you wanna see what i'm about yeah pz1up |
thx for the feed everyone
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dam gurllll, this is hot for a 15 year old,,,,,, keep elevatin
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deezamm, dopeness...im really feelin dis drop...lovin da overall flow and multis...tha first two bars had a nigga hooked, and dats what i love...keep doin you ma...easy
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She 16 you dumbass |
yea dis sum nice stuff ...flowed well , had a good vocab .... filled with good emotions .....multi's on point ..
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Yo, sum ill shit is alwayz good 2 see
u started out strong in this wit tha first bar, but u ended a lil weak... my advice would be ta try and get sum hot bars beginning and end so u start and finish wit some fire... |
great flow, structure, and vocab in this... lyrically sound as well... I like the way you got your topic of choice across... very poetic... good shit...
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i get it...thats read was hot. i liked the structure...i dont kno why, but i related. the punches were aight. the flow was good, i mean it flowed well...another good one. keep it up.
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O now since I went inactive you came to drop some dopeness...I got you gurl. :)
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i really didn't like some of the lines...well, for flow wise...other than that, it was okay
Kill em cold blooded without a clue of death in my techniques best line in there, i thought you kinda strayed from your topic though, i really like what you did at the end, or whatever, near the middle to the end, where you started questioning beliefs, but i don't think your whole piece tied in with that.....but, thats just me not bad, keep up |
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yea boo u kno i gotta get back to writing been busy with school lately |
Nice drop ma. But yeah flow was good, structure was also good, had emotion in it too which went good with the lines...overall great...Keep up the good work. :thumbup:
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^Lmao.. you didn't even read it.
Anyway I only read a little bit.. sorry ma. I'll read the rest later though, but overall on what I read so far, it's pretty good. |
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