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Eviley vs Kapone
10 lines min. 20 max
due: Thursday (get intouch with me if that wont work for your schedule. we will work it out. Also if you have problems with topics reach me. Topic: Growth process of an apple tree---example..... (from the roots in the soil to the baring of the fruit........ |
i'm in....i guess we'll see what we create.... especially outta this unusual topic
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damn, not quite irony, just str8 cruelness... how you put me on the best poet on this site?
damn checkin in damn |
yeah right......Kapone your shit is tight.....i have been thinking on this one for like 27 hours and i still don't know..........
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interesting topic....i know u guys are gonna pull some good shit...T'is i gotta see...from the roots to the leaves...hehe
good luck guyS! |
yea, this is gunna suck
*braces by putting on seat belt* |
lmao Kapone, this should be ill, you guys are both really good
dude, you need to clean out your mailbox by the way looking forward to your pieces One |
done man cleaned
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well like i said we have one day to find out......most likely kapone
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G luck...cleaning...
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i know it's like a battle field inhere
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so eviley, when will u be dropping?
i have a rough draft done just gotta add some effects and such just an estimate will work and its not like a battle feild in here... its gunna be so one sided ima get ko'd cuz ur better... but if im better and u can tell. and u still win... is it still dick ryding.. or what... i dare say cooch ryding?!? |
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lol
actually i am ready when your ready..... |
i have an idea of what to turn in but for sure i am beat
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excuse me, im licking the screen
on my roller coaster pic ill be with you momentarily |
lookin forward too but theres too much chattin less postin
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i will post tonight if you are ready Kapone
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okay well i am posting
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this is what i came up with....i compared it more with love and friendship then the actually growth but i wrote about the tree and child growing up together so here i go.........
The Child planted outside her window it started to rise it started to grow the roots filled with that little girls love she created life with the touch of her glove it began to sprout outside of the ground it wasnt the creation that made her proud it was a new friend that she had found at night she would climb down it's arms of strength and watch the stars with her eyes she brang it sang music to her as she slept with the wind when she saw a red apple that it sent she bit the gift with a lustful crunch how she loved her apple tree oh so much she was now a woman and visited often all of the memories she hasnt forgotten they grew old and grew together but she will love her first love the tree is forever at her funeral the tree began to die she was buried right beside it that's where she lies.. |
nice thought eviley you pulled through--NOT SO HARD HUH!!!hehe alright Kapone lets get your piece in so i can judge
-1- |
you can't keep me waiting like this kapone lol......
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IM SOOOO SORRY
I WAS RECORDING AND SHIT AND TRYING TO GET THE SHIT DONE WITH THIS CREW BATTLE AND TALK DOWN SOME PPL, PLUS RB HASENT LET ME ON ALL DAY i will be posting in 5 minutes from this post |
The Growth of an Apple Tree
By: Kaps From seed to green Growing into strength stand tall, never leans this is the growth of an apple tree /Hundreds of years pass, and hes still alive/ /Even through the unfertile dirt, he manages to thrive/ /He produces the fuel for human life/ /He lives unpeacfully, with strife// /Robbed of his integrity, he still stands tall/ /His apples get taken before they have a chance to fall// /He drops the apples in the spring/ /In the fall he sheds his leaves/ /In summer little girls tie on a tire swing/ /But in winter he is forgotten by all living things// /The squirells use him, The man robs from him/ /He keeps tellin himself, " This ain't livin"/ /But soon enough Spring and swings come again/ /Theyre wantin more youll never catch him restin// /Teens have graffitied him up, his beauty cant remain/ /Because no one will let his prized apples stay and hang// /You see, metaphoricaly you tought it was an apple tree/ /But think deeper into it, the apple tree is me////// aight sorry this is fresh keed because i tryed to go a different approach and i accidenly cut the the wrong notepad window thats my moronic stupidity |
"but think deeper into it, the apple tree is me"
whoa, wasn't expectin that. I was diggin the whole "check out tree man, he little girls swing on him, and he has graffiti all over him, cuz he's straight pimpin!" but then it got metphorical eviley, your poem was cool, it had a lot of meaning but way less surprise and emotion than Kap's. vote=kap I think thats how it works..... |
lol, i dont know how this works
and i just thought of that little girls swing from me... lmao |
no what i meent behind the poem, the metaphor is
the unfertile dirt is the street, see what im sayin? and stayin dilagent and true to me even thru thick and thin and the tire swing reference.. well cuz girls is always swingin from my branch-es the apples robbed refrence means that my talent and skill is wasted on a message borad, and belive me, i can spitta audio, just lack the peace and quiet and brain frame to manage cool edit, so i play my whole ryhme scheem and structure for all to bite, cuz remembner, just cuz you dont say the same things, if you adapt some ones scheem its even werse than biting any way, most of the metaphors can be played to you too the grafitti is to represent uh... peer pressure if you will |
closed till judging--1- n
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Eviley:
You had a typical approach to this topic...Do i think it could have been more creative? Maybe but i feel that you blessed the piece with a sincere motive--Many things are held dearly to when growing up with something as simple as a tree---It is ironic that the tree passed when the lady died. I think that was the highlight of this particular piece---imagery of something beautiful and pure eventually wilting away...very deep in many aspects---Imagery could have been better along with some of the lines but overall pretty nice piece, im giving it a (6.1) Kapone: I think alot of your rhyme scheme was typical in this piece nothing that really gave it originality in the rhyme scheme side of things...I did enjoy the fact you used the seasonal effect to the tree/persons life and the events that followed within each season...i think the metaphor was weak---things shouldn't need to be explained so thoroughly to get the point across. i never would have thought it if i didnt read the last couple lines...Some nice imagery--some things were original but the first couple lines made hurt the feeling of the poem. middle was very nice-ending was lacking im giving it a (6) this was an extremely hard choice but Eviley will go to the next round--Only reason is because it had better structure and a clearer meaning --nice work from the both of you -1- |
good job Evily, i hope you do well in the next round
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thank you i appreciate it......
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Of course, had to come back to these two. Both of you approached the topics in an interesting way. And once again, i can see why deacon found it hard to seperate the two and knock someon out..
..resp... |
thank you alot......it was an honor going against kapone one true talent he is....
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yea, whatever, you knew youd win....
i knew you would, i aint got no talent, <<<, i dont even use correct grammer |
me neither
and you do have talent... you can keep saying you don't but i know you doo... sooo just shut up j/k but you do |
yes you are so shut up
haha j/k you really are no joke...... |
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