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-   Poetry Tournament (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=44)
-   -   Eviley vs Kapone (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=50545)

deacon 05-26-03 06:37 PM

Eviley vs Kapone
 
10 lines min. 20 max
due: Thursday (get intouch with me if that wont work for your schedule. we will work it out. Also if you have problems with topics reach me.

Topic: Growth process of an apple tree---example.....
(from the roots in the soil to the baring of the fruit........

Eviley 05-26-03 10:43 PM

i'm in....i guess we'll see what we create.... especially outta this unusual topic

Kapone 05-27-03 07:30 AM

damn, not quite irony, just str8 cruelness... how you put me on the best poet on this site?

damn

checkin in

damn

Eviley 05-27-03 05:05 PM

yeah right......Kapone your shit is tight.....i have been thinking on this one for like 27 hours and i still don't know..........

shiznit 05-27-03 05:28 PM

interesting topic....i know u guys are gonna pull some good shit...T'is i gotta see...from the roots to the leaves...hehe

good luck guyS!

Kapone 05-27-03 05:29 PM

yea, this is gunna suck

*braces by putting on seat belt*

Maven 05-27-03 06:55 PM

lmao Kapone, this should be ill, you guys are both really good
dude, you need to clean out your mailbox by the way
looking forward to your pieces
One

Kapone 05-27-03 07:09 PM

done man cleaned

Eviley 05-28-03 04:09 PM

well like i said we have one day to find out......most likely kapone

Kosta 05-28-03 04:10 PM

G luck...cleaning...

Eviley 05-28-03 04:14 PM

i know it's like a battle field inhere

Kapone 05-28-03 04:45 PM

so eviley, when will u be dropping?

i have a rough draft done

just gotta add some effects and such

just an estimate will work

and its not like a battle feild in here... its gunna be so one sided

ima get ko'd cuz ur better...

but if im better and u can tell. and u still win... is it still dick ryding.. or what...

i dare say cooch ryding?!?

Kapone 05-28-03 04:57 PM

.............................^.................... .......
.........................../.....\..................
........................../..^...\...........
......................../../.().\..\.....
....................../../........\..\.......
..................../../.....^....\..\.............
...................|..|..../....\...|..|....................
....................\..\...\..../.../../.............
......................\..\...\/..../../........
........................\..\....../../....
..........................\..\.../../..........
............................\.\././...................
..............................\\//..........................

NOT A ROLLER COASTER,
PLEASE DONT RIDE THIS^^ THANK YOU

Eviley 05-28-03 05:25 PM

lol
actually i am ready when your ready.....

Eviley 05-28-03 05:27 PM

i have an idea of what to turn in but for sure i am beat

Kapone 05-28-03 06:49 PM

excuse me, im licking the screen

on my roller coaster pic

ill be with you momentarily

G_Gizmo.Guz 05-28-03 08:02 PM

lookin forward too but theres too much chattin less postin

Eviley 05-28-03 08:44 PM

i will post tonight if you are ready Kapone

Eviley 05-28-03 11:19 PM

okay well i am posting

Eviley 05-28-03 11:22 PM

this is what i came up with....i compared it more with love and friendship then the actually growth but i wrote about the tree and child growing up together so here i go.........


The Child planted outside her window
it started to rise it started to grow
the roots filled with that little girls love
she created life with the touch of her glove
it began to sprout outside of the ground
it wasnt the creation that made her proud
it was a new friend that she had found
at night she would climb down it's arms of strength
and watch the stars with her eyes she brang
it sang music to her as she slept with the wind
when she saw a red apple that it sent
she bit the gift with a lustful crunch
how she loved her apple tree oh so much
she was now a woman and visited often
all of the memories she hasnt forgotten
they grew old and grew together
but she will love her first love
the tree is forever
at her funeral the tree began to die
she was buried right beside it that's where she lies..

deacon 05-29-03 02:37 AM

nice thought eviley you pulled through--NOT SO HARD HUH!!!hehe alright Kapone lets get your piece in so i can judge

-1-

Eviley 05-29-03 05:11 AM

you can't keep me waiting like this kapone lol......

Kapone 05-29-03 08:32 PM

IM SOOOO SORRY

I WAS RECORDING AND SHIT AND TRYING TO GET THE SHIT DONE WITH THIS CREW BATTLE AND TALK DOWN SOME PPL, PLUS RB HASENT LET ME ON ALL DAY

i will be posting in 5 minutes from this post

Kapone 05-29-03 08:36 PM

The Growth of an Apple Tree
By: Kaps

From seed to green

Growing into strength

stand tall, never leans

this is the growth of an apple tree




/Hundreds of years pass, and hes still alive/
/Even through the unfertile dirt, he manages to thrive/
/He produces the fuel for human life/
/He lives unpeacfully, with strife//
/Robbed of his integrity, he still stands tall/
/His apples get taken before they have a chance to fall//
/He drops the apples in the spring/
/In the fall he sheds his leaves/
/In summer little girls tie on a tire swing/
/But in winter he is forgotten by all living things//
/The squirells use him, The man robs from him/
/He keeps tellin himself, " This ain't livin"/
/But soon enough Spring and swings come again/
/Theyre wantin more youll never catch him restin//
/Teens have graffitied him up, his beauty cant remain/
/Because no one will let his prized apples stay and hang//
/You see, metaphoricaly you tought it was an apple tree/
/But think deeper into it, the apple tree is me//////

aight sorry this is fresh keed because i tryed to go
a different approach and i accidenly cut the the wrong
notepad window thats my moronic stupidity

Maven 05-29-03 09:27 PM

"but think deeper into it, the apple tree is me"

whoa, wasn't expectin that. I was diggin the whole "check out tree man, he little girls swing on him, and he has graffiti all over him, cuz he's straight pimpin!" but then it got metphorical

eviley, your poem was cool, it had a lot of meaning but way less surprise and emotion than Kap's.
vote=kap
I think thats how it works.....

Kapone 05-29-03 10:48 PM

lol, i dont know how this works

and i just thought of that

little girls swing from me... lmao

Kapone 05-29-03 10:54 PM

no what i meent behind the poem, the metaphor is

the unfertile dirt is the street, see what im sayin? and stayin dilagent and true to me even thru thick and thin

and the tire swing reference.. well cuz girls is always swingin from my branch-es

the apples robbed refrence means that my talent and skill is wasted on a message borad, and belive me, i can spitta audio, just lack the peace and quiet and brain frame to manage cool edit, so i play my whole ryhme scheem and structure for all to bite, cuz remembner, just cuz you dont say the same things, if you adapt some ones scheem its even werse than biting

any way, most of the metaphors can be played to you too

the grafitti is to represent uh... peer pressure if you will

deacon 05-30-03 01:52 AM

closed till judging--1- n

deacon 06-02-03 11:39 PM

Eviley:
You had a typical approach to this topic...Do i think it could have been more creative? Maybe but i feel that you blessed the piece with a sincere motive--Many things are held dearly to when growing up with something as simple as a tree---It is ironic that the tree passed when the lady died. I think that was the highlight of this particular piece---imagery of something beautiful and pure eventually wilting away...very deep in many aspects---Imagery could have been better along with some of the lines but overall pretty nice piece, im giving it a (6.1)

Kapone:

I think alot of your rhyme scheme was typical in this piece nothing that really gave it originality in the rhyme scheme side of things...I did enjoy the fact you used the seasonal effect to the tree/persons life and the events that followed within each season...i think the metaphor was weak---things shouldn't need to be explained so thoroughly to get the point across. i never would have thought it if i didnt read the last couple lines...Some nice imagery--some things were original but the first couple lines made hurt the feeling of the poem. middle was very nice-ending was lacking

im giving it a (6)

this was an extremely hard choice but Eviley will go to the next round--Only reason is because it had better structure and a clearer meaning --nice work from the both of you

-1-

Kapone 06-03-03 02:50 AM

good job Evily, i hope you do well in the next round

Eviley 06-03-03 07:27 AM

thank you i appreciate it......

varentao 06-03-03 10:46 PM

Of course, had to come back to these two. Both of you approached the topics in an interesting way. And once again, i can see why deacon found it hard to seperate the two and knock someon out..

..resp...

Eviley 06-05-03 03:09 AM

thank you alot......it was an honor going against kapone one true talent he is....

Kapone 06-05-03 09:27 PM

yea, whatever, you knew youd win....

i knew you would, i aint got no talent, <<<, i dont even use correct grammer

Eviley 06-07-03 02:51 AM

me neither
and you do have talent...
you can keep saying you don't
but i know you doo...

sooo just
shut up
j/k
but you do

Eviley 06-07-03 04:22 AM

yes you are so shut up
haha j/k
you really are no joke......


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