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Word For Word P. w/ Camarac
the wise fool will try to Tempt the Masses w. Empty Glasses the alcholic will share his Bottle dreams w. Whomever Passes Train of Thought leaves the platform, as idea's Fade Away While Crashing into the Wall Of Writer's block .. Where Humans Often Stay Conducting Blades of grass, into a Suicide Symphony Sadistically slashing Wrists Making The Quest for Common Knowledge A Mystery life's like the Blistering Epitome of what i Came to Expect The Head with No Neck Ritualistically Conducting Attempts At Oral Sex i hang my Pictoral Sets in Galleries, so Picture Perfect 1000 words of Worth Couldn't mend or Flex the Broken Cervix Spoken Word Is outdated, replaced with Bling Bling Anthem's But my word's Reflect Brighter futures Than Any Necklace Damnit ! .. the Reckless Manage survival, & yet the Good Die Young? The Ironic Meaning of life To Depict Living As Something That Shouldn't Be Done always figured i Wouldnt Become, just another Circus Act I mean Aside From My Collossal Penis, I'm your Regular Whitebred Nerdy Kat plotting Sturdy Facts into the Labrinth's of Speech, i Callously Preach The Ins And Outs To Music, Sex With Music? .. Pass Me My Drink and then, i'll Collapse Within an alcholic Mass of Fits Ramblin Shit While I Pass A Fist At Pacifist, I Used To Stand Tall With Hip Hop, Now I'm Inevitably Collapsed With It .. so this Glass Of Gin now symbolises me, ready to be downed Forget Spoken Word I See Alcoholism as the future .. follow me now .. the wise fool will try to Tempt the Masses w. Empty Glasses the alcholic will share his Bottle dreams w. Whomever Passes |
strong, strong imagery here, some wicked puns, especially the opening line. i think you went a little overboard with the vocab though. still; a great topic, solid hook, good ideas, good work really.
more please. |
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makes it look hella nicer = ) |
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completely nice shit all the way through,
some ill vocabulary, i dont now about it being overboard, but the younger peeps might not be able to grasp the concepts. sounds like some jehst shit, from the uk. nice drop peeps |
I agree wit Johnny
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^ fuck off and reply properly.
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he gives short replies to be like his penis .. err yeah
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Yo, this was a hot joint, specially when i got to da middle. I like dat verse , "Spoken Word Is outdated, replaced with Bling Bling Anthem's But my word's Reflect Brighter futures Than Any Necklace Damnit "(sand 2003).
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better recocnize .. but the first line was cam, =P
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Quotables:
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Dope meaning and the vocab / imagery / flow was perfect. Quote:
Just a well thought-out line, good work. Overall a well put togethor piece that braught imagery and great delivery and presentation with the flow and vocab. |
This was dope, I can't tell who's who, So I can't break down eachs part, But both of your lines emerged into one really imaginative/ progressive/ Fluent topic,
You Guys Are FluWent Like Prescribed Medicine. ^^ lol at my tired wordplay.. lol Anywayz, This was a great read, You really pinned this one down as the best open mic up on top of the pages, Great read. Pz |
Akusation Pretty much nailed the quotables.
Deff was dope to see sum better heads in open mic. Instead of noob infestation. This piece really hit hard dope imagery, lyrics, content, vocab.. well you know the deal.. n' cam ya right.. the center shit deff makes it look Alot better |
holla
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back ..
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..Deep..this piece was simply Deep and Dope..I can't see any 'flaw' in this piece so..although this may seem like a short 'reply'..but..Deep..
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'wow' what's with the apostrophe's ? '''''
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damn... Cam n Sand... great piece.
Cam seldom seems to not impress. This shit is deep as hell. GangstaRR ish. Mos Def shit. Rap/poetry. nice drop. |
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Cool line. Quote:
Only line that I didn't like; seemed like blasé whistle-blowing, kind of. Quote:
Wasn't expecting it - I admit it, Ralph chuckled. Quote:
The consensus best line it seems. . It was good, but I liked the ritualistic oral sex one better. All in all, it was solid, as usual. Pretty much everything could pass as quotable in this depleted form; regardless, it was a nice read. I thought the change in flow was a good choice - a fresh voice in a mass of monotones. To hell with whoever said you overdid the vocabulary - you can never overdo vocabulary with good word choice. Good piece, crew. . Thanks for letting Bagels get involved, too! :rolleyes: PS - If AOL didn't have so many damned legends, I would lend this link as a submission. Merry Christmas. Quality |
good shit. i hope you rap. it could make an ill song man.
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what you all fucks didn't know .. we did it line for line .. ahahahaha he started .. holla
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^ i know .. lmao.
and to whoever said "aol has too many legends pieces or id give this link" - i actually only have ONE piece in legends now. all my other pieces got taken out. = ( |
i only have one legends piece too .. i had 5 but i killed them all
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Same. I had enough to fill up my own seperate forum, but i asked for them all to be took out.
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i am an rb legend ..
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Sand do you mind dropping feedback on my piece: Clear Skies
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yah this was also tite, as sed before great imagery, very wise too, ver humble, good meanings and puts some thoughts in my head, malso like sed before, vocab was a little overpowering, a little, flow was nice, definately originality here, keep it up
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ackusation, you mind sucking my cock?
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Lmfao. I hope that's not catching. |
lol at the amount of replies..rarity....
anyway, it was a dope piece, your knowledge and use of vocab and wordplay was clearly apparent througout. It was never over or underused and it was played and spread out nice n' evenly. Flow was smooth, could've used some more internals but meh.... was good enough. As for the concept, good imagery...just what i had expected: !so this Glass Of Gin now symbolises me, ready to be downed Forget Spoken Word I See Alcoholism as the future .. follow me now .." - nice. 4/5 dope piece, nice to see something of this calibre posted in Open mic, deserves all the good critic you get. |
I actually didnt think it was that great. My two verses from the RSTL i re-posted here shitted on this and got slept on badly, lol.
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