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.Transition To Greed.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=101035
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=100919 http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=101032 Its an emotion that manifests in many ways And plays from day to day Many forms it takes jus spawning to horde and it craves It enslaves captivates the bearer with tunnel vision Lifting the average above an addiction to Ill willing Away with free living, gone want it all Selfish thoughts with protocol, inevitably you’re gonna fall! Jus clouded with a translucent film n red eyed from accentuated living Committing to never giving and shifting without resisting The temptation to say no, dark urges taken root n started to grow Transition process starts slow, but rapid growth like ivy tightens Sprouting braches the grip heightens, to outsiders the look frightens They need enlightened, we need to elope, It’s a joke like crack heads coping, drawing crack from coke Nympho’s needing another fuck another poke It prays on the weak, the habit creeps and keeps until it devotes Cos it becomes an affliction like no other Yes, avarice, gluttony greed, its sole purpose is to smother! |
come on ppl...aint nobody gonna drop no feed....pZ
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Nice drop....
The flow was o.k...was off at some points but it was pretty smooth for the best part. No question that you had a complex array of vocab and wordplay here..it was played well and didn't portray it as being overused...dope.. "Transition process starts slow, but rapid growth like ivy tightens Sprouting braches the grip heightens, to outsiders the look frightens" - loved that line.... Good topic, related the rhymes to it well, never fell off or drifted away from it..big props for that.... 3/5 nice...bit short maybe..but it was a good read. |
thnx man....any more????....pZ
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..Nice..like ^ said..your vocab and wordplay was right on the money..this piece could've been a better piece if you extended it and told a little more..but..hey..what do I know..nice work..
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Yeah i agree this was good....your had good vocab like you always do...wordplay was good, liked that....your flow was alright, it could have been a bit better in some parts of the piece, but still good....ovearll this was a good piece....keep at it.
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...this was pretty deep and I liked the rhymes...
""Transition process starts slow, but rapid growth like ivy tightens Sprouting braches the grip heightens, to outsiders the look frightens"" ...yeah, that was ill like RythmicTendicies said... I def liked the content too, like I said, I thought it was pretty deep... Nice drop |
thnx peeps.....
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It enslaves captivates the bearer with tunnel vision
Lifting the average above an addiction to Ill willing Away with free living, gone want it all Selfish thoughts with protocol, inevitably you’re gonna fall! Good vocab..was in transition nicely..didnt really see or could i relate to a topic but it was a decent drop overall |
uppin for some last feeback....pZ
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yea this was a Nice Piece Deva.....ya had Good flow most the way though it but it was stil nice man.... i know that ya don't care bout structure but i think it helps the Flow.....but ya Vocab was Nice Man I always Enjoy it......and ya Wordplay worked well with Ya Vocab.....so all and all man this was was a Good Piece Not much Wrong With it....PeacE......
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I got to agree with the peolple here it was a nice drop
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^ crap feedback in order to get 'it's' piece re-opend
----------------- Solid script, pact with complex snares of witty wordplay and vocabulairy. - the flow though, it was off at points but picked up..decent flow. Overall pretty good, enjoyable piece. Quotables? scroll up.. |
Good stuff. I like the imagery, I can picture it in my mind. Also, good vocabulary. It's one of the better open mic rhymes I've seen. Keep writing, you've got potential.
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I Hate Bein All Late To Reply To Shit. . It Gets Repetitive As Fuck. . Flow Was Off Dev. . Wordplay, Nice. . Vocab Was Good. . Visualization. . You Created One. . Nice Job On That. . Like I Say Over And Over, Tryna Be Redundant. . You Kno. . Flow Is My Main Focus. . If The Shit Can't Flow When I Read It Then I Can't Really Get Into It. . I Try N Look Past It Sometimes. . I Did For This Piece, So I Was Able To See The Depth N How Good It Was. . Keep Um Droppin'
- Formula. |
you nice shit i felt ya hit me up son
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