MY FUCKING MOM (that bitch)
 

replys::
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...225#post1020225
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...236#post1020236
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...242#post1020242



It sure is weird that my mom has time to drink here (fuckin beer)/
No time fo me but time to give a bj to a ugly (truckin queer)/
She has time to smoke weed , eat shrums and do stuff (like E)/
But she aint got time fo me , do she, cant lisen to me on da ( mic b)/
She thinks shes the best mom that I could ever have in ( my life)/
One day that bitch hit me in da face and cut me wit a ( pie knife)/
Why she think shes the best mom in da world , she cant tell//
That bitch smell and she made my life a fuckin living hell///
If she cared bout me, in court she would accually try not to ( loose me)/
Naw fuck dat if she cared bout me she wouldnt fuckin try and ( abuse me)/
She would get out of jail and stratin out her so called mind//
She said shes never cheated on my dad or do drugs, bitch I aint blind/
So mom my lawyer came by yesterday and told me I had to make a big dessicion/
He said live wit yo dad or yo mom , then I got a fuckin vision/
I had the vision of tha day you hit me and said you hated me and wished id die/
Then you threw me out yo fuckin house and then you hit me wit a brick and made me cry/
Well that day my dad came and saved me, I probley wouldve died if he didnt come/
Me going back to yo house to live so I can get beat again , that would be dumb!!!/


That was a real story ........tell me wut you think.

this shit is one of the dope rymes i've read homie. going along with a beat readin it made it tighter. you got some funny shit in here but in a way its pretty personal. Well, i feel you in a way cuz my mom use to be like yo moms, but no to the extent of doing hardcore drugs like da shrooms. above all, this was the best drop of the day. nice.

yeah this was alright...but structure in this was ok, it could use some work though i think, try keeping your lines the same length, some of them were kinda stretched out a bit there, but you can work on that...you had some alright multies....flow was alright....keep at it.

yah it deep man, good read, sad, dont go turnin Eminem on us, hehe, nah but good job life wood suck like that, keep ya head up man

ROLMAO-THIS WAS A WACKNES GIVE UP TRYIN TO COPY EMMINEMS STYLE

alright verses. bit stretched in parts, but yeah, can be worked on. trippin on your moms homes. she sounds like a REAL bitch...
check out my shit in 'open mic'...

yo man i feel you alot on dis 1, it waz true an 4rm da heart
an datz wat i like 2 see, it wasent ceribral an u dident try
2 put big wordz an vocab 2 sound deeper, it waz straight foward
and truth
keep it 4rm da heart man

hm.......deep.......a piece filled with hate.....
structure ok.....
vocab could be better....
liked your metas.....nice story telling and imagry.....
good piece....
nice effort
keep it up

seems Like ya got an EminEm Thing Goin and Truely it don't Work.....use ya own teknique and it would probably Turn out betta......ya flow was alright and so was ya structure......Keep ya self elevaten And Written with ya Own Style Peace(v)...........................

good ryhmes but the subject wasn't very original.stop tryna copy eminem and cum up wid ya own style and you'll be dope

well, this sort of piece can be broken down in two ways..

1. Message, i.e, what you were trying to say...

well, your message here was strong, abusive parents right? and when they mix drink with drugs it gets real bad..i know where your coming from because the same happened to a kid i knew..sept it was his stepdad who hit him...anyway he left and went to his dads to stay, then his mam left his stepdad and now he lives at both houses..and it got better...all i can say is...make the right choice.

2. How did it measure as an open mic

well, not hating but i really wasn't feeling this piece, sure the message was there..but you didnt get the emotion that would have made this dopeness..emotion is the backbone of a great open mic (in my view) if you dont have it, your screwed. Try and put down what you feel, even if it hurts...thats how to get positive feed...keep on elevatin...you'll do ok

respect

Yo... on the Strength kid... this was a good look into the life of someone who's had it tough. But I agree with Liba Dee in that it wasn't a "Great" look into someone's life. It lacked the feeling son. I mean really... it's one thing to hate on your Moms, but the tone is only semi-angry... semi-hurt and so forth. I know your feelings are real... but I don't feel they are "Really" displayed here. The other thing is that the piece kinda threw me for a loop when you all of a sudden started talking to your Moms instead of about her. This can be done... but it needs a really smooth transition. And in my honest opinion I didn't see one.

Anyways, Keep Up The Good Work and Keep Writing Yo... Rap / Poetry can help heal the soul of all that ails it. PEACE<>

Yo I aint copien eminem's style, I guess its just where I lisen to him alot .................but I aint trien to take his style ........fo real .....thanx though

This was really good. I was really feeling the motion. We can all relate to this story in some way. My mom's a bitch too. Good work.

if your moms really like that. .....................damn. But the slim shadt thing is taken dog. by slim shady. find another angle. be original.thats what seperates artist from everybody else.originality

Yo,
Im trien to tell yall that I am not trien to take eminem's style. Its just I lisen to him and I lisen to his style, I am not like trien to copy his style.......I try and make my own style but I dont really have one style I like to try different styles and I like to experiment .........I am not fuckin trien to copy eminem , even know he da bomb....I would take his style ......thanx fo the comments though.

I feel you kid... keep it up. Real feelings are hards to express lyrically.... I think that you're still forming your own style, but I heard originality in that... Come back to that verse and rewrite in a year... you'll see how much you've improved!
I'll pray 4 you and your moms in the meantime... peace.

lookin fo mo feedback

99% of me is born killa
tha otha % is scrilla getta
but every ounce of my being
has gone insane from all tha crazy shit i been seeing
seein ya daddy gettin shot whil his block gettin shot up
my moms in tha kitchen all nite shootin up
comin in my room high as fuck talkin bout she love me
thinkin dat jus sayin that shit gon set my pain free
but tha bitch dont prove it
all that crack she smokin got tha bitch half diluted
i was 11 years old when my moms introduced me to tha streets
talkin bout go make sum money so ya lil black ass can eat
she left me home late at nite while she went out hoein and bustin
she tha one who got me into this cocaine and crack sellin
she tha reason i gotta be out late on tha streets hustlin
she tha reason why i gotta be strugglin
she try ta make me feel small by tellin me she my only fan
but tell me why tha bitch used ta beat me till i couldnt stand
my moms no betta then ta hit me any more
cuz 1 nite i put that fat hoe through tha bathroom door
she wants me makein money for her sellin coke and crack
but tell me why tha bitch gotta be raidein my stash
there was a few times when my moms threw me out
and i learned at a young age that santa don come to my house
i don remeber one time my moms got me a gift
oh wait..... when i was 6 she got me a pair a shoes that didnt fit
i told her they was to small and she flipped her 'lid'
she told me i was ungrateful and beat me for bein a "rotten kid"
damn! i dont no wut i did ta deserve such a bitch ass mom
maybe tha muth fuka gonna miss me more when im gone
even tho she dont beat me anymore tha abuse aint neva gonna
stop
she tha reason i get sudden urges ta drop bitches on tha spot
hopfully one day ill finally get shot
but i jus wanna get taken out in one pop not 9 like 50
cuz at least when im gone this pain is goin wit me
ya no sum times i feel strong but at times i jus sit alone in tha dark and cry
but i neva was down wit this livin shit GOD! why cant i jus die
DAMN!!!!!......and don think im tryin ta be eminem i don like him anyway......this is jus how im feelin....dats why i don like talkin bout shit like this cuz everytime u do niggas think u tryin ta be eminem.....shit i don even care if this spit is wack....jus needed ta get this shit off my chest......~1~ .:repin:.

Decent Open Mic But Just Need To Elevate A Lil More Keep Droppin Tho....

it was alright...work on ya struct..drop the (...) and make ya lines the same length

some good rhymes

overall alright

this was sorta like the style like eminems.. nice piece but keep trying you will get better aventualy.. i rate this a 5/10

Peace

kinda strange, sound like you tryin to ride Eminem, but oh well, newayz, it was decent, could have been better, basic content

good luck wit ya moms

It was aight, maybe work on your structure. The flow was straight, didnt really fall off. Just work on imagery and creativity mainly. Cause this is shown alot, just something normal... But it was still pretty nice... Keep elevating hommie...

( Return the favor and peep " Remember Our Love " its in open mic. Drop a good reply, aight hommie... )

nice shit, takes me back some time ago!

piece reflects competent "newbism" with imaturity

dude this was a piece of shit. Im not trying to hate but you will never make it trying to do stuff like this. I didnt even have to read it all to know that. Im an intern for babygrande records and let me tell you just from what ive seen if you are serious about your flows you need get serious with what you write. This just looks like you're trying to be deep. you cant try you have to just fucking do it. elevate everything. dont give up, thats the pusy way out

aiyo man you really inspired me to do better ......... check dis out...........
The mind of a fucking killer is a terible place/
Hes a fucker who murders and luvs the chase/
He loves the feeling and he luvs to kill/
He not only love the smell but also the feel/
He kills fuckers day , night and dawn/
Hes killed people sense the day he was born/







I hate all the shit in the world but i dont wine/
When bitches fuck wit my head i act like Im fine/
I feel like my world is caving in wit noplace to go/
One night I relized I couldnt take it no mo/
My dad aproched me wit this line right here/
I think you been smoking weed and drinking beer/
I went off like I had no sense in my head/
He ask me a bad fuckin question no hes dead/
The day after that I went to the mo fuckin store/
The cashier thought i toke sumthin, that whore/
So she ask me if I did the shit and I said no/
She wouldnt stop fuckin talkin that fuckin ho/
So I ask her to search me the best she can/
But that was all part of my fuckin plan/
She started searching me and I hit her in the face/
Where can you find that bitch now ? no place/



The mind of a fucking killer is a terible place/
Hes a fucker who murders and luvs the chase/
He loves the feeling and he luvs to kill/
He not only love the smell but also the feel/
He kills fuckers day , night and dawn/
Hes killed people sense the day he was born/




He rolled up to tha jail house rollin on dubs/
He wanted to get his gurl thats all it was/
then the cop ask what he was there for/
He looked at the cop knocked him to the floor/
He went out tha door but the cop couldnt stop/
Killer relized he could make it less this fool was dropped/
So he pulled his gun out and shot the pig/
He looked at him bleed and smoked a cig/
He thought to himself "Whats happened to me"/
"I kill one dude now I kill every one i see"/
then he looked at the pig and thought again/
"Ill kill every fucker on earth thats not my friend"/
He then went to his home and seen his wife/
He saw her fuckin another dude , and got a knife/
He said to the dude ,"ont make me mad"/
"Im a fuckin husband and a fuckin dad"/
Im a worker , a guy, a student , and thiller
But the funnest job i got is being a killer?





The mind of a fucking killer is a terible place/
Hes a fucker who murders and luvs the chase/
He loves the feeling and he luvs to kill/
He not only love the smell but also the feel/
He kills fuckers day , night and dawn/
Hes killed people sense the day he was born/







wut you think????????/

QUIT

yo stop posting yo shit in my sit DAMN!!!!!!!!

yo that was good.i liked the (pie knife) line.keep it up like that.and maybe come up wit harder hittin punches.

Despite all the Em comparisons it was some real deep shit and niggas was hatin on it cause they don't know where you comin from on that shit. Good but some parts ran on a bit. (And to all the dumbasses makin the comparisons everybody's style is a knock yall ain't original)

Holla At Em

lol i hope ur all joking...
cuz this is wack