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Death Of Man???
~Death Of A Man~ The preperation of the cycle has finally been completed/ All the pain and suffering we knew has been ceased kid/ Once striving and surviving off the only thing you know and love/ To be stripped away from the life you knew to be takin' above/ Into a brand new world..you start to learn marvolous things/ Harvest this dream and forever keep this incredible scene/ All the competing in this contest of life has paid off for the best/ Now you've been selected to leave and really breathe before the rest/ Your chest expands..your soul explodes in a furious dance/ Listening all this time just to speak with confidence for a chance/ Your voice roars you craves for attention and soon you shall recieve/ Watchers and spectators wipe and blink their eyes in disbelief/ You're picked up by mysterious hands and suddenly you feel relaxed/ You loved the place you came from but now you never want to go back/ You're filled with strength you get from lifting your spiritual girth/ Only 1 question remains and I referring to death or birth??/ |
liked the hole positive flow good vocab and ryme. just wish there was more.
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if I get enough good replies..I'll make a continuation to this..thanks for your reply..uppin for more..
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uppin for more replies!!!!!!...
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'chest explodes in a furious dance'
one of the many quoteables in this piece, had a good concept, not too played, stayed on it..good vocab and structure, easy on the eye...dope.. if you add on it, it'll have more content though..and will be better... |
this pisses me off, i typed a long ass reply then when i pressed submit shit said there was a error an' i lost what i typed...but the gist was, topic=played, but came out well... flow= 0 or it's too complex to actually work.. vocab isn't spectacular so i can't see why u said it about mine... overall nice drop, i hate reading, but since u took the time i did... sum nice multi's ie: " learn marvolous things/
Harvest this dream and forever keep this incredible scene/"... stay up... 1 |
aight..good remarks so for..uppin for some more..
uppin some more |
upping to the sky:)..no what..that was gay:(..can I get some replies?
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uppin for more replies on this joint.. ........................ ...........
uppin for more replies on this joint.. ..................... ................. |
Hey...This is not bad...Not bad at all..I tried to spit it in my own flow just to realize this has to be some sort of poetry...First thing I read wakin up this morning so excuse my dumbness...On some real what you was talkin about was very realistic...You should try writing whole songs that tell stories...I'll happily supply you with a beat...This is my type of subject here...
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nice piece...
came well togther with the flow... ok vocab... topic was a little...blah...but you came around nicely with it... just wished it was longer... please don't be grimeney!!!! http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=105602 |
uppin
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yo dawg that was pretty good liked tha flow and structure and shit ........... keep at it !!!!
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uppin
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that was garbage
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The preperation of the cycle has finally been completed/
All the pain and suffering we knew has been ceased kid/ Do you honestly know how gay that sounds? Once striving and surviving off the only thing you know and love/ To be stripped away from the life you knew to be takin' above/ Yea just like u will be if u rap like that on the streets.. Into a brand new world..you start to learn marvolous things/ Harvest this dream and forever keep this incredible scene/ SOFFFFFFFFT.. man im not even gonna bother judging the rest.. |
shut the fuck^^ hattin ass hoe..how about this..eat a dck and die..you know whats funny..a girl that have a name refering to their looks but is too ashamed to show a pic..you prolly fat..ugly..and a slut..so fuck you..and dont hate on my shit anymore..evidently it must be good because it got me in sacred scriptures...
uppin.. |
yeah kid this was actully nice... flow was kinda choopy at one point... but it was good drop... yeah a lil short for what i was expected... but hey good drop any one dunny... keep killin it
Caesar On3 |
uppin for more replies..
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Quote:
LoL ur too new to know that I posted my pic.. and it had 20 pages of replys and some proposals.. wanna c my pic lol.. then try n call me fat n ugly kid u cant even spell dick right... fuckin pussy , Awwww can't compose a decent rhyme... -Jump Off :thefinger |
yeah I want to see them..post them...
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lol, it doesnt matter if you close the other one.
I got the original one. fucka. |
DiMeZ shes on my msn list i talk to her all the time.. she got cmmon sense because this was pure SHIT.
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Dimez is a net whor.
Lol, you prolly didnt see the diss that like 5 or 6 members collabed on. and this open mic is shit? its funny, because my exact same open mic in the other thread, you said you liked it. ROFLMAO hater. |
lol @ mask.
this is what you said in the other thread with the exact same peice. Quote:
Lol, you talk shit, but you like my work??? lol, real smart. |
and the only person that was hating was Dimez, and thats because we were beefing.
like me and you now. you said you liked it, but now that we beefin, you said it was trash. lol. I love you. :) |
thats was iite, work on it a lil, the flow was iite thoguh , peace 1luv
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^thanks, but I dont want simple feedback like that.
uppin. |
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