What RB...Peep the Skillz...or help me
 

Dumb Kids need To Up ya Game Stuff's da same,ya Stuff is Lame
Tai Boxers couldn't Knee-Us If they take da 'G' from my fucking Name
Im Ill n Real yall Feel tha Skill?Best Believe Threats ain't Hollow From G
Wanna Stalk my Post an Hate...i'll Walk on Water....You Follow my LEad?
The Illest with Wordplay..im Telling the Fact is Im Smelling ya Whackness
Im Behind you Right?Naa..Cos I don't Follow directions like Rebellious Actors
Not Heavy wit Mack10's..Yall All Fronting..you Get Bent over Backwards
Drop Cyanide in the Air Vents..You KNOW when im Venting My Anger
don't need to be mentioned ta damn-ya..my beef Stampede an Trample MC's
Jump ya for 'Ramp'ing with G Crowns mine in title shots im Battling Thiefs
Its Natural for me,Text is hitting,when I Spit to Rhythms Im rippin Systems
Yall who review me are jus Building my Ego..with all that constructive Critism



hate to explain wordplay..but...any1 dont get something holla back..i will explain

It looks like your concept and flow was good but I couldn't really follow it because of the structure. I'm sure you've heard people say it before, how you rhyme each line... I usually write it like:

......................................rhyme//
..........................................rhyme//

it makes it easier to read, this one kinda looks like it's all squished together to make one paragraph type... it was good overall but I suggest trying different topics and practicing how your going to get your message across....Nice work man, keep it up!

its cos the font is too big....i will make it smaller

nice stuff man, almost flawless except for this line

Im Ill-n-Real yall Feel-tha-Skill?Best Believe Threats ain't Hollow-From-G
Wanna Stalk my Post an Hate...i'll Walk on Water....You Follow my LEad?


everything else was good keep on keepin on

^

which line?

Ok. . I'ma Break It Down. .

Dumb Kids need To Up-ya-Game Stuff's-da-same ya Stuff-is-Lame
Tai Boxers couldn't Knee-Us If they take da 'G' from my fucking Name

^ ^ ^ Nice Starter, Had The Flow There, The "-" Between The Words Isn't Needed, We Can Keep Up With It. .

Im Ill-n-Real yall Feel-tha-Skill?Best Believe Threats ain't Hollow-From-G
Wanna Stalk my Post an Hate...i'll Walk on Water....You Follow my LEad?

^ ^ Ill Two Bars Right There, Flow Still Good. .

The Illest with Wordplay..im Telling-the-Fact-is Im Smelling-ya-Whackness
Im Behind you Right?Naa..Cos I don't Follow directions like Rebellious-Actors

^ ^ ^ Pretty Nice, A Little Played, I Know I've Heard That Last Line Before. . Flow Still On-Point. .

Not Heavy-wit-Mack10's..Yall All Fronting..you Get Bent-over-Backwards
Drop Cyanide in the Air Vents..You KNOW when im Venting-My-Anger

^ ^ ^ Feelin' It. . Definately Nice. . I'm Still Lookin' For Mainly Flow And You're Still Spittin' It On-Point

don't need to be mentioned-ta-damn-ya..my beef Stampede an Trample-MC's
Jump ya for 'Ramp'ing-with-G Crowns mine in title shots im Battling-Thiefs

^ ^ ^ Nice Wordplay, Crowns. . Battling Thieves. . Nice. Flow's Still There.

Its Natural for me,Text is hitting,when I Spit to Rhythms Im rippin Systems
Yall who review me are jus Building my Ego..with all that constructive Critism

^ ^ ^ Ok Finisher, Probly Coulda Been Stronger, But Again, Flow Still There. .

I Judge All Pieces Based On Flow And How Easy It Is For Me To Read It And Follow Along. . So You Definately Got The Flow Done, Just Work On Various Things Like None Of The "-'s" (I Can't Think Of What The Fuck It's Called Lol). . Multi's Were Good, Everything Was Positive. . Keep Droppin' Man.

..What's up with the fucked up fonts????

^

fucked up fonts?

i made it smaller...lol

at the "_" i no....but i've heard people on this site can't keep up with multi's that dont contain "-" also heard yall can't keep up wit wordplay but im mistaken thansk for the breakdown...holla at me whenever you want anythin peeped

The first line was a little played but it was just an intro so w/e.



That was ill I was feeling it.

Overall the whole thing was pretty nice. Some of the material was a little played out but overall you came nicely with this one.

Hmmm decent piece. Word of advice...take it out all the excess symbols, they help point out, but it also forces you to point out multies and shit and its annoying. But when it came down to the concept, you executed it very well, showed some potential, but you did overdo it with the multies a bit, you could've kept it a bit more basic, but yeh...good shit.

took your advise....

lol i cant flow it without those dashes their for some reason..lol neva mind next time i will jus write it better

Shit this was pretty nice right here....flow was good....
wordplay was pretty good....you hade some nice multis in places, i like the way your multis make sence

You got it exactly right...props for that comment...alot of people's multi's are forced an senceless...like they jus threw words together without thinking....i try hard not to do it...

Well... it was really hard to read in that really gay font

but, the concept was hot. I agree with ^^^that in the sense you multi's weren't forced....
although there were MAny of them....not everyline has to be a multi

jus my style...Helps me flow my shit....everything i make i try to make it as nice an easy as possible for me to read it outloud...

thanks tho

This was good but it was hard to read. I think you should seperate your bars for your piece so it can make more sense, and so readers don't et lost in the rap. Ohter than that it was good.

I was feelin some of the punchlines you came wit
keep your sit clever and it'll be all good
checkout some of my shit too..1

- Da LyRicAL ViLLiaN

okedoke piece...everyone already sumed up how to fix it..from what i'm lookin' at now..pretty good...

haha poor breakdown compared to my long ass 1 but thanks for peepin

structure was great
flow was on point
vocabulary was nice
wordplay was ok

overall it was an ok drop

thanks....uppin

........im upping this....