Fears
 

Fears

West.

As a brit that's witnessed a war been left with a scar
can't even see anymore nevermind lookin at the stars
imagine writin bars and picturin tha world from afar
people trapped behind them coz wot nationality they are
and it's so fucked up like young girls gettin knocked up
missin a period now pregnant and the father is locked up
can't even read but willin and takin money to cock suck
these poor little teens never had nuthin just bad luck
and so hurtful to say that we're not responsible today
treatin people in the wrong way not listenin to there say
shit i pray askin the lord to heal and take hurt away
but he's dismayed with the lack of love that we display
to each other mary as our mother but we're no brothers
theres no respect in this world got me feelin smothered
i've discovered plenty of past ghosts jus like the others
so scary that at night i sleep with head under covers

West/Big G. Line 4 Line.

Don't know where to start the good things or the extremely bad
the really happy la la shit or fucked up ah ah saverley sad
so i'll spit you a mixture new addiction all at the same time
give you a sniff of your new fixture or pop another,blow my mind
fuckin with me or mine shit your in for some stormy weather
it's a monsoon in my mind,but together we can shelter it forever
i'm interested in seeing what fucked up shit's at the tip of me
so let's climb into my brain but only problem there is no key
the only thing keepin me sane,is growing into becoming an emcee
and this is the next stage in my life no longer an adole-cent-me
cause i respire just to live,but i no longer have will and desire
so put an add in your paper,no fee required a live body for hire
but i'm dropping magical explosions so you better take cover an dive
you can't do shit to retalliate,coz no potion makes me feel alive
i'll leave you diseased i encompass the beast in north south and east
like the mobb blood runs deep and as the prodigy of west i must speak.

^

Any feed.

an ill ass piece, pretty long but pretty good!!!

some nice wordplay, vocab an immagery,
a nice piece, with some ill as line,
keep it up
an
keep droppin

Much appreciated man.

Peace

dawg u just keep gettin betta and betta yo rhymes tight kid keep dat shit up never give up u know i know its we got
one love explicitot
peace.........................

i meant say its all we got..................................
...........west do me a favor dawg n peep dis shit i need an experienced vote

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=106180

yall punck pissy ass niggaz

niggaz don't wanna battle me

^ Stay outta my thread dawg!

Uppin.I'll return tha feed peeps.

Peace

1st verse:
Was nice, you had some dope flow in there, nice use of internals n' lines n' bars were a nice length, well structured... You had good imagry here, as a british citizen i could relate to this well...you had some good wordplay in here, and as usually the use of vocab to potray the imagry was dope.

2'nd Verse:
Both mc's had good lines, damn flow was off the hook...lol, you both worked well together, again dope imagry and dope vocab...

4/5 - dope...sorry it's not really a detailed response..first time i've visited OM this year, just gettin' back into the swing of replying..lol.

Yo thanx for droppin feed man,ur critique is always apreciated.

Peace

^^^

Flow - 9/10
Structure - 8.5/10
Vocab - 8.5/10
Multis - 7/10
Topic - 8.5/10
Originality - 9/10

Dope piece bro, flow was unstoppable, some sick wordplay in there, and I liked the concept AND the fact that you kept on topic the whole time. Keep at it man and keep elevatin.

Thanx dawg.

Peace

^ Uppin.

^^^

Sleepers.

Uppin once more.

Peace

Last time.

Peace

^^^

Yo the piece was ill and the topic wasc coo too. The flow ran smooth an all you know? keep it all up. Flow, Structure, Vocab all really good. Thanks on my feedback man. Hit me up!

Thanx dawg,yo everyone who gave feed i'll return the favor if i've not already.

Peace

..This was a dope piece..good flow..good content..good wordplay..good structure..haven't read many of your posts..but..I'll be on the look out~Peace..

No doubt appreciated dawg.Not posted for a while coz been busy with university shit but i'm back anyway lol.

Peace

Dopely done..like that word..
good flow with vocab..
multis were nice..
Not to long yet not to short..liked that..
Stayed on the content not brushing off..
props are givin to you Mr.West..

Your first verse...the flow was very good easy to follow, your starting line was great it grasped thereaders attention with the word usage also the way you put forth a girls type of devils mentality with being a mother and so on. that really brought power to that verse and showed a lot of common sence that we normally hide from. Great read for the start.

Second verse i felt lacked some...modivation...it wasn't as catchy...but after bout the first 3 lines....you both came well together and kept on fitting the puzzles pieces together. the ending was a great way to finish. i loved that south east north...then west must speak...that was cool.

Over all this was honeslty a great drop. very well writtin and a good collab. for the second verse.

Appreciated dawg.

Peace

^^^

You had good flow, but lacked in the vocab section. You could have also brought some emotion into the lyrics. You spit some part of real life, and the other is somthing you dont understand. I know from my own personal experience. I liked the wordplay in both verses. You had an intresting rhyme scheme, thats a big plus. It just didnt grab my full attention like it should have. Dont take this wrong though, you put down a nice drop. You also have elevated alot since I remember seeing your flows. Good work... 7.5 / 10

( PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOR AND CHECK THE FLOW IN MY SIG, APPRICIATED )

Appreciated man.

Peace