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-   -   Lessons Of Legends (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=106609)

Tsar Casm 01-13-04 06:38 PM

Lessons On Legends
 
My mind was progressin'..ahem..excuse me, class is in session,
On how to handle my new obsession, achieveing O.M legends,
The though of it had me stressin', Started with "Desperation",
Writtin by Domain 9, you could see his respect for Bruk in each line,
Made my heart welt, so though-out and deeply felt, this must of been a sign,
Because for this, I read every written legend, and they all stayed in mind,
Moved to pieces by Camarac, purest form of dope, I had to sit back,
Replenish my mind, for another textual track, of which nothing it lacked,
Recently read "Blood On The Pillow", I wondered how to visualize,
What he saw through his eyes, the whole idea caught me for a suprise,
The message it was sending, the concepts portrayed at the ending,
Though, my feelings on Weezy's "America" is still pending,
But the verse itself had me in my brain mending my questioning,
Of what deserved to be considered an open mic legend,
How would I reach my own space set in a sort of RB heaven,
By now I make my way on to reading a Sand classic "Pain of Plane",
I'd never remain the same, for my vocabulary had changed,
I guess I could say Legends took me from a fetus into a writer,
A born again writer, cleaning his mouth that was like a fighter,
Had I of tried, I could've been "Almost Famous", yet I was "Napping Thru Reality",
These senseless notions, causing myself all this mental comotion,
So now I stick with myself this forum I always seem to open,
And if I could accompish having a thread in this so say, perfect potion,
The thought would be a "Reflection of Fate" , that I to showed magical devoution,


........Thank you for your time class, I hope this may have inspired you.

Tsar Casm 01-13-04 07:51 PM

Don't Sleep!

Tsar Casm 01-13-04 08:20 PM

please people..are you kidding me?

Orikle 01-13-04 08:21 PM

Good idea but...

My mind was progressin'..ahem..excuse me, class is in session,
On how to handle my new obsession, achieveing O.M legends,
The though of it had me stressin', Started with "Desperation",

^^That part flowed pretty well...but...

Writtin by Domain 9, you could see his respect for Bruk in each line,
Made my heart welt, so though-out and deeply felt, this must of been a sign,
Because for this, I read every written legend, and they all stayed in mind,

^^When you moved to that it just didn't flow off the opening section...

Take out senseless words and sure maintain the content but don't forget about the flow and rhyming structure ay...Keep at it mate...Hit my piece up ay...Pz...

Tsar Casm 01-13-04 08:31 PM

alrightey.. i'll get to it...

Tsar Casm 01-13-04 09:03 PM

wow..o.m is going to hell...

Edicius 01-13-04 09:11 PM

Yea agree try to use less fillers, .. flow was ok on most points, .. story was well i liked it .. nice concept.. good vocab usage.. = ) .., but try to remove words that are just being there lol..but still a nice read man props.

Tsar Casm 01-13-04 09:13 PM

Damn words..mysteriously find themselves there..their like bagladies...

Castro XL 01-13-04 09:37 PM

It was alright

Viscosity 01-13-04 10:52 PM

I enjoyed this..
but as said earlier, you had a lot of line fillers
vocab was nice, so was structure and fillers
this was quite nice.

Can o' Wormz 01-13-04 10:56 PM

I did liek this quite a bit. Flow stayed mostly solid, and I dug the respect that you laid out for the other things people have been laying down. Cleaning up some of the extra syllables would make this top rate.

Hit me back, man.

One

Emerge 01-14-04 02:13 AM

take out those silly unneeded words
and your lines were really really long...cut them in 1/4

good shit

but you will get better than this easily?

Tsar Casm 01-14-04 06:29 AM

word...love ya'll man...*sniff*sniff*

RythmicTendicies 01-14-04 04:23 PM

Had some nice flow here, dope internals throughout, you pulled it off pretty well, but i thnk you overused alot of words n' terms here...it seemed the flow was stretched in places, but overall it was pretty good.

Liked the topic...it's good that some people can write shit about rb, lotta good relational shit in here, was a good read...

"message it was sending, the concepts portrayed at the ending,
Though, my feelings on Weezy's "America" is still pending,"

"And if I could accompish having a thread in this so say, perfect potion,
The thought would be a "Reflection of Fate" , that I to showed magical devoution,"

- some dope bars...

3/5 if you have time can you return the favour?? http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=106501

Tsar Casm 01-14-04 06:21 PM

dope..ill peep that..

Tsar Casm 01-14-04 07:36 PM

dope homos..where are you?

Domain 9 01-15-04 12:55 AM

I liked that piece... I come back for a visit and stop in to view an O.M. and happen to see someone mention me. That's pretty dope. It was good how you brought all the Legend's pieces in to make your verse. I respect the respect you've give to anyone in the Legends forum. Too bad I'm not a mod of the Legend's Forum or O.M. anymore. Aw well I deserve it for being gone for so long. Keep it up Sarcasm. I enjoyed this piece

pz

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 11:16 AM

Thank very very much for checking out this piece Domain..

west 01-15-04 11:42 AM

"message it was sending, the concepts portrayed at the ending,
Though, my feelings on Weezy's "America" is still pending,"

^liked this bar alot,flowed well and used nice vocab.

As a whole the peice was a original idea,usin past legends to get there urself,wordplay was there in bits,flow was pretty good but as the others have said limit the fillers,i had the same problem tryna squeeze to much in.imagery was good aswell,vocab good too,internals so good drop man.

P.S Hit mine if u can dawg.

Peace

Accelerate 01-15-04 11:49 AM

Well...Very nice piece, Lots of internals and all of that. Like said before, many filler words were thrown in.. Kinda fucked up the flow. But this was very very dope, You had a nice flow whenever you kept it strong and I like how you finally gave respect to the pieces posted in Legends. Very nice..

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 11:53 AM

..thank u..all..

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 12:20 PM

People we can depend on..friends..

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 01:04 PM

Dopology..is my word...

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 02:16 PM

yo..hello..isquiero

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 03:52 PM

I wonder..when will the upping stop?

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 05:59 PM

hey deac where u at?

deacon 01-15-04 06:07 PM

hahhaha.....you really do want to be in legends......Legends is nothing but dr'n because your a popular bastid.....anyways decent flow i enjoyed...ive seen better in you but this hit the lucky medium...congrats

-1-

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 06:11 PM

lol..dope!..lucky medium...

N LitEnd 01-15-04 06:26 PM

I've Never Actually Read Any Of Your Stuff, And To Be Honest, I Was Quite Impressed. Your Internals Were Nice And Flow Was Good In Most Areas. The Legends Idea Didnt Really Appeal To Me At First, But I Liked What You Produced Out Of It. A Nice Drop, I'll Be Checking Out More Of Your Stuff When You Drop Them.

Figure Of Speech 01-15-04 06:30 PM

This Showed The Enjoyment You Have on This Site...

I Really Like How You Complemented The Peeps You Like On Here...My Big Inspiration is Emerge Too Me His art is Absolutely Phenomenal...

7/10

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 06:34 PM

Thanks N and Figure...

Ambitious 01-15-04 06:45 PM

i liked this......liked the topic....you were pretty consistant with ur idea.....senseless werds as was said before.....but you had some ill flow, shorten the lines a little......your metas were nice......tech liked them

GOod piece......just a few kinks here and there,
keep at It

Edicius 01-15-04 06:50 PM

Sarcasm reduce ur uppin, else this will be closed.

Tsar Casm 01-15-04 06:53 PM

SAW-Ry...uppin..untill later..

Up once more &this is closed & deleted = 0
-Eddy

Menik 01-15-04 09:43 PM

Yeah i agree this was a good drop here....the topic was pretty good i thought...the flow in this seemed to be on point through out the piece, never got off really, pretty smooth....overall i thought this was a good piece you had some good imaginary..keep at it.

Kosta 01-19-04 02:54 PM

i have like 5 more legends pieces, but i deleted them .. =)
respect the classics, respect the classics .

Tsar Casm 01-19-04 02:57 PM

^^Yeah..I remeber them..and then a bunch were deleted..thanks for bringing this back up..


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