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" Lost Hope " ( Real Nice )
" Lost Hope "
The drastic times continou, a line forever being elastic Where hell reaks its havok, and drugs creat more addicts Post holding extatic thoughts, the future serving hateul plots As the birds tune stops, more wars created and left fought One shot is all it takes, then the scale will rase its rate Fates holding no weight, means more deaths will accumulate Are we used as bate, or of a master plan to intimidate? If love keeps loseing its grips, whats left to manage hate The truth is held in us youths, and the paths that we choose Were fools to not learn now, cause lacking knoledge, we'll lose... Without Passion, we will take wrong action and have no ration If you know the car will reck, then keep the seat belt fascend There are many intentions, but were ordering wrong missions Think of the potential of man kind, and reveal the intuitions Your vision seep's through the cracks of blessed lands of facts So instead of the great... Where stuck withh opinions of the past Life is a long task, so why put our children through harsh reality Where we judge nationalities, and words can only cause fatality People have given up, and minds for centurys have been feeble Our skriptures going through times so lethal... Yet its our sequal These waves will one day ingulf our boat, and forget all we wrote With this I wont Kop, we must end the beggining of our " Lost Hope " ( Tell me what you think guys, be honest... Good enough to be in the legends? LOL. Well, this was just emotion I had in me. So I decided to write down how I was feeling at the time... Holla Back everyone... ) |
Defenitley a really nice pecie....
Flow...Vocab...structure was all perfect (but you spelled alot of words wrong.... lol) Content was pretty well put together to, you stayed on point, overall I can't say much is wrong with this... Legends....??? maybe........ Hit my peice up when you have time....link in my sig |
Wow. Loved it. The piece was great, structure was good and you used complexity but not to the point where it couldnt be understood. It went along really well with the piece. It flowed pretty good and the message came through. It was a very good piece . props to you.
plz return the fev if you have time http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107227 |
very good man, nice vocab good rhyme structure, liked this alot, dunno about legends but nice peice, keep workin
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Nice Drop Dawg, the rhyming was very good, liked how you rhymed in between lines and stuff that's coo, the vocab was really good, and the flow was too, overall very good drop, keep it up
peace |
Yea, the structure was solid the entire way through the verse, nice use of vocab, internal rhyme scheme. Solid drop. Metaphors hit right on. This was really good.
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Nice shit. Flow was on, and ya vocab was pretty good. The structure was right and overall the topic was good too. Keep doing shit like that.
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damn ni¢¢a, thyz ma fir5t read on yo 5hyt an now im a ¢hek it more often... i waz fallowin the flow great an yo volkab waz amazin along wit yo mutliez (alwayz a big fan of mutliez), an the wordplay would go on for hourz trinna break down how good it waz. thyz iz a 10/10 handz down. keep thyz 5hyt up an it will be yo name on the (mo5t likely ta make it outta RB) reward
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That was a really nice piece. I liked the beginning and end but in the middle there was one part that the flow faultered and it lost it's legendary status. It was the part where you were rhyming with "fool". This had a good plot to it and some good lines all in all it was a good piece but is definately falling short of legendary.
pz |
yo that was a nice drop....felt the emotion 2 the vocab was bangin n im tryin ta better my structures so i c how thats done lol...nice drop yo 1
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Thanks for all the input, it is much appriciated. I dont know about 10/10, because we can only get better. LOL . But thanks alot for that comment. Well Upping for some more replies maybe...
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..Very nice..great structure...good scheme,have'nt read many open mics from you but I'll be on the lookout~
~Go Vote~ http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=104404 |
^ aight, wouldnt have liked more feedback... But its straight ^
UPPIN |
nice man, this actually...was my old flow.. at a time i was testing flows and i had a flow replictaed to this right here, i like this peice too, its was pretty hot, thanx for the feedback on my shit, and ur right, but i fine my style isnt that much different, i just write my shit to a beat so its easier for me to read it ya know?? im just responding to ur response to my shit and i like ur shit right here man, very nice,
kanser |
^ oKAY ^
UPPIN, people need to start returning favors... |
Yeah i agree this was a good piece here....enjoyed the read....you got the message across nicely i thought in this....had a nice solid structure....you had some nice multies through out the piece as well....the flow in this i thought was good, it flowed pretty smooth...vocab in this was good....content overall was good also i thought....made a good read...keep at it.
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yea i think this was a real nice piece man really nicely done...ya flow was to a good extent..ya had nice structure...and ya had nice vocab and was really unexpected...So all and all this was a really nice Verse man Keep it droping...PeacE...
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Real Nice Piece. . Legends ? Not Quite. . But Everything Was There And Prevalent. . Flow, Multi's. . Highly Dope. . Flow Made This An Easy Read. . That's Extra Points In My Book. . Structure Was Just Fine. . Vocab Was Good. . Everything Just Gelled In This Piece. . Great Job Cuz.
** Peep "A Story Of A Girl" When I Get It Up. . Good Look. . Pz. ** |
thought this was a pretty straight read, apart form the layout, centering it,.... liked the way you carried ya rhyming, really got the flow going... apart from one bit in the middle...
If you know the car will reck, then keep the seat belt fascend// There are many intentions, but were ordering wrong missions// ^^if this was fixed, it would have been bout 9/10.... cos the structure, vocab n shit was on point... and the concept was good, thought you could have closed it a bit stronger tho, but it was still done decent.... and the word play was there...so... as it is ill give it 7.5/10...... |
like mos def...tight vocab..very descriptive...nice topic also..flow was there...could have added couple of multis here and there but even without much still nice...
pce |
some deep shit man. u stayed on point and your flow was tight very well structured rhyme scheme here as well, some decent wordplay and good use of vocab and some nice multi's made this piece stand out even more and your closing line was a nice way to finish it off. good job man keep droppin. peace.
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Thanks for being honest. The replies are much appriciated... Anymore possibly
^ UPPIN ^ |
Not legends material but still ill. LoL, i wonder if you listen to a lot of Nas songs? seems like your piece is just like his songs. You had great flow, that really made a it a strong piece, and your rhyming scheme was...beautiful is the first word dat comes to mind lol. Message across very clear, espically the beginning, the beginning was dope.
Good drop overall. This is the shit you should post everytime. How long dd it take for you to do this by the way? |
Yo this shit was ill......I liked it alot.........flowed ver easily and very well....Stayed on the topic throughout the rhyme.....keep doin yo thing man........hit me up sometime.....and thanks for the feedback on my shit.....its appreciated....
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