a freestyle diss, NEEDS FEED BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
 

this is a freestyle diss i wrote on www.illhill.com
write what you think about it, heres the link right here everything below the dotted line is the original post, holla back!
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okay this is a diss on a spoiled, rich mothaf*cka who i seriously hate. hes one of those rich b*tches who gets everything he wants, and there are tons of punk faggots always on his dick. so i'll write this to express how i feel about this whiny ass.





when i see tits on you and your b*tch, i'm lookin at sideways "8's"/
time to leave you "violated" like gays when they "slide down straights"/
unlike the presidential race, there ain't no "time" for debates/
you get cooked like eggs on skillets, see how they "incubate"/

you and your fat wad of cash, better not hang it out your wallet/
before cats think your a hooker, and start bangin out your balls b*tch/
like ending relationships, you see me and then dribble at your "lips"/
your "dawgfood" because when this flow hits,it will "KIBBLE YOUR BITS"/
your friends are "chocolate" the way they like to "stay on your hips"/

wanna cum back to my mastery? naw cuz i will be harrassing thee/
and to put it factually, you'll get exposed on TV as an "ACTUAL B"/
claimin that you "smoke trees" keep it real b*tch, the only way you can do it dawg, is by hittin one with "lit skis"/

i'll chop you up, and sell your "cannibal beef" across the nation/
that is, after you get "eaten" by an unleashed army of crustaceans/



and thats my diss, holla back!

aight we get that you dun liek him stop hattin
instead of rhymin you should be sittin home masterbating
jizz creatin
ya punk ass betta off dattin
ya sh*ts blattin
you probaly don't know how this should be takin
dun be mistakin
im 13 and i got you in ya boots shakin
kuz im spittin bars
hittin harder than you runin into cars
brakin ya bak bangin
you into to tar
now take a moment and look at that
im lyrically tellin you to lick my sack
without usin the actaull words
fuk adjectives im usin nouns and adverbs
you probably faomin out the mouth
wonderin wut this is about
moth fu*a im lyrically callin you out...

man what the fuck is with this bitch? he got his own dick up his rectum. all i fuckin wanted is feed, not bullshit from a fuckin newb. so shut the fuck up and realise that i could merk you with the spare book of nursery rhymes i keep in my ass. fuckin punk shit talker. now suck my enormously large dick, if it can even fit in your mouth.:gfy: :noob: :Offtopic: :laugh2: :nono: :wtf:

no 1 would suck ya dik kuz no 1 likes to suk on small objects
motha fuka ill rip you up in all asspects
enormously large dick?
even lil kim will laugh at that shit
dun get tite kuz im 13 and i know how to spit
ill leave you ripped open and loose like ya moms clit

hahahaha your weak shit makes me laugh kid, if you wanna see and hear flow, go to niagra falls bitch. i still can't fuckin believe this, my first post on this site, and already some one is riding my nuts. all i wanted was feed, not some mothafucka who hasn't yet hit puberty. bitch ass punk, go suck off your dog after you jack his ass off. :cussing:

aight you older than me and you probably jerk off till you kant take it no more
till it turns red blistered and sore
how am i riding ya dick
when therre aint 1 to ride prick
if im makkin you laugh then why you gettin pist
my lyrics are all ova you up in ya eye givin you a sist
look at this im young and im bustin ya balls
ill go to niagra falls
push you off spit against you all while im makin phonecalls
to your pigeon girlfriend in deed
infact thats about the only reason this thread would have feed (pigeon feed)

i'm in a rage, this i'll leave this teenager dying of old age/ with alzheimers from witnessing all the words on this page/
if you licked MJ's dick, not even then could you "taste" fame/
face pain bitch, the bars come at you, stinging your eyes like mace rain/

your a part of my spawn with your mom, in other words that ladys "litter"/
you ain't tryin to battle me, your just looking for another babysitter/
like kids who don't like their food, your just another "baby spitter"/
my intoxicating flows will leave you with the "Bailey jitters"/

your whole verse was weak, it stunk more than your ailing vomit/
while my punches are on point and flaming, just like hayleys comet/
i'll leave you howlin "praise the lord" like a fuckin "wailing amish"/

that was off my dome mutha fucka. taste the fury bitch, its over.

hahahha mutha fucka, i can see that you don't have anything more to say to me, BITCH! LMAO, no talent cumsucker

>your friends are "chocolate" the way they like to "stay on your hips"/

Lol best line. Nice one man.

stait off dome?
you probably took 3 hours thinkin of tha shit at home
ya shit it wak
ill beat ya ass rhymin while im playin pitti pat
what are you smokin krak?
you probably fat
kuz my rhymes got you catchin asmtha attacks
im fiering lyrical bullets that go brat ta tat
not ever in my life did i see a wak come bak like dat
till now
wanna beat me let one of these reall rappers show you how
i come bak at you each time blow
you callin me cumsucker when your the one that likes to blow
nigga im to ill for you if you didn't know
ill rip ya shit up wether i bust it fast or slow...

attack of the lyrics, armed with the fury of armies/
wack bitches will fear it, when these words will scar thee/
triskadekaphobia is the fear of unlucky numbers/
you've tripped and fallen off, like and "unlucky runner"/
you get "fired" from the site, like i was an angry manager/
you handle more "broomsticks" than the busiest of janitors/

i'll pierce you through your skull, like i was a bad "william tell"/
if you were "harry potter" not even then could you learn to "spell"/

you and your crew couldn't "drop a bomb" if you were a B-52/
tell you what i'll give you a dime, so a cheap B can start licking you/
he couldn't create "dope" lyrics if he shot em up with high endorphinage/
you go from punk, to a sack of ashes, in other words a twisted metamorphosis/

and for your info, i'm not a nigga. so never assume that i'm one. stupid shit talkin faggot

now i want all y'all to tell me who the better lyricist is, me or this prepubescent tampon sucker. holla.

ill rhymes to both you guys

keep the feed comin people. holla.

Is your real name Fuck up? Because if you were my son that's what I would call you. That was pathetic. =)

LOL!:laugh2: go fuck your self, i studied your shit and its ten times as worse as what i put down. Stupid E-hoe. go get laid over the net, after you take a rhinos dick up the ass. :rolleyes:

still need some respectable, no bull shit feed back people.

don't you get it no boday likes you
i wouldn't be surprised if your wolf icon tried to bite you
it dosen't matta if you a nigga or not
beacause if i met you on the street ill smak you in the face with a pot
drop you a dime
you is a punk ill peel ya ass like a ripe clemtine
dun get furious kuz ya ass kant rhyme
my lyrics is heavy put them on ya back they'll brake ya spine
this thread is mine
so fuck off
kuz you soft
if any one said you were good it was followed by a cough
that would have you droped
but not before my lyrical bullets poped
im younger and iller than you see
fuk if i kant spell this is a thread not a fukking spelling bee

since you ain t bak ima come at you again

you want feed thats respectible
but i dun think theres that small of a number kuz theres nothin under a negative decimal
but don't worry we will make the number look big if we turn it to a recipricle
im rhymin so hard this battles gettin lyricaly physical
for ya info i ain't gona stop till the situation is copestetical

Hold that shit fuck up

your rhymes don't get wows bitch, they just get eaten like sauerkraut/
like when you taste sweaty fists in a boxing match, this is a sour bout/
i put cowards out, hit these bitches up from my mouth with a power spout/

i use multiple tools, and lots of thread spools to ruin prepubescent fools/
blowin petty fifty cents, and comin back to get all you little Ja Rules/

your shit will never be in season, while mine could'nt get any riper/
my lyrics eat pipers in cyphers and put your ass in ER with Mekhi Phifer/

hell yeah i spit hyper, like little kids humpin ass on the first couple of fucks/
you weren't blessed with luck, but get eaten up like scones at starbucks/

i'm more "fired" up then neglected restauraunt patrons/
and come to flow on this board like well built irrigation/

i hump all you twats with hard "wood" like another hickory fuck/
knock the cluck out of chickens, leave your pussy ass flat on that hillary "duff"/

Don't you get it, i'm the more talented mc, your just a fucking newbie. this reflects very badly on this site, i mean, all i wanted was feed, and i get this faggot? with no talent, trying to show me how to rhyme? shit, i knew something like this would happen, it always does, i guess all you losers have nothing better to do.

your "rite" i had nothin better to do
i needed somthin wak to fuk with so i picked you
you were online for a while where were you
tryin to get some rhymes from a "site?"
yo i get more excitment from a boddle of spite
you suk more than your mom does in the middle of the nite
dun get tight
if you dun like it say good night
and dun rite
but you wanna make it continious
ima do this shit till you wobblle to the floor and get dilirious
if this was on another site i bet you would quote this
i bet if i handed you monkey dik you would probably smoke it
if you dun like wat im doin to you forfit
kuz im wearing you down boy like a fukken glovemit
i take ya rhyme examine it
twist it
and shove it
and make sure somthing pointy is rite above it
im sure it will be a sure fit
kuz 15 minutes before i do this you probably took a dik out of it

Why Fuck up keeps battlin back and forth with this dumb shit is beyond me. Good diss yo some punches could've came alot harder, but personals made up for that shit. Take ol dude on in front lines so he can shut the fuck up.

Open battle
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107807

na man.....sare 2 was da best

Thanks for the feed yo... fuck up looks like i stole ya room

ROBB is a dickryder, sare 2 can't rhyme, only da killa kid has got shit right. i can't believe that ROBB thought that garbage rhymes like these were better:




LMFAO!!!!!! ^^^^what the fuck? smoke a monkey dick? man you must be seriously smoked up on some wack crazy shit mutha fucka. that made no sense.



^^^ stole my room? i have been the better rhymer from day one motha fucka, go fuck ROBB, looks like he enjoys the look of your personal ad rhymes. stupid shit talkin faggot.

i'll gladly take this to the battle board. if you wanna get knocked the fuck out. in the mean time, keep your shit talking, dick sucking mouth off of the mic. all i ever wanted when i posted this thread was feed back, not a fucking newbie. bitch ass mutha fucka.

fuk you bitch you dah 1 claming you sittin bak laughin if im such a fukkin newb you would just fuken report me and get it the fuk over with you fukken pussy

aight yo0o if you wanan battle go check in at bitch slapped and ill set up

hurry up dun be pussy

i'm ready to battle, so bring it.

Good vocab ... good flow.. punches were alright... good structure... i like it.. keep it up :thumbup:

..........and uhhh wtf is up with sare 2 ?????????

i don't know, but he is wack, and stupid, and dumb for starting shit on an open mic board. LOL.

fuk you this neva would have happened if you read the pm... i was fukken around and i didn't know that i was on open mike then i said to dead it so you kept at it so i didn't stop

hahha, how was i supposed to know what the hell you were saying on that pm when you obviously don't know how to spell? it sounded like you were taunting me and i was going to bust back on your ass. muthafucka.

it's an alright diss

but this isn't too topical or anything. it's alright

structur'e's basic , could use a few more internals

your lines grab only you like you grab yourself
couldn't find a bitch, went for the Keebler elf
you couldn't get no nookie so you boinked the guy who makes cookies.
but he flipped it on you, and fucked you till you bled
then he poked out your eyes and fucked you in the head
your shit is wack, bitch my shit is fly.
you can't compete, bitch, don't even try.