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Feeble vs. KLO!
10 lines, 20 minutes after checkin, all the regular rules apply.
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checking in.
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hey feeble, not to freepost but our battle is setup when one of your current two battles closes..didn't know if you got my PM
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i cant find it pm me the link please.
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Okay, checking in. Doing my verse now. For some reason it won't let me post unless I'm using more than 50 characters.... okay, I'm at like 100-something now. Alright, here I go.
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Yes I'm a newbie, but after this you'll really think I'm not.
When I drop my verse, you feel like you just been shot. My verbs and adverbs hit you with everything I got while your nouns stay limp in your hands like your cock. Yes KLO's the name, and I'm about to explain why battling me is the worst kind of pain. You're just a bitch, yeah, don't even continue; you'll need a support group after the raping I'ma give you. Don't even drop your shit, you might as well eat it; the nutrional value is high, you probably need it and the stains on your teeth are less humiliating than being defeated. |
Klo don't try to escape, I kill kids with lines in a jolt..
I put out the light in ya head, u have no time to re volt.. to get the win with good character, he's methodly hoping... two wrongs dont make a right, so you need ethical motive.. I aint readin ur verse, cuz u prolly aint rhymin, fuck.. this little bitch tried checkin in after his time was up.. my lines are based in truth, givin you some pounding.. ur lines are awestricken, cuz they're all dumb founded dont give me this newbie shit, im already past it im just wonderin why yall like gettin ya ass whipped ? |
Nice verse. But we didn't actually specify a minimum checkin time; rememeber; I said we had to spit twenty minutes after we both checked in. And I did. So, yeah. Um, good job.
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Upping for votes. And still the 50 characters thing.
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dam....tite battle....but da newb soundz like a middle weight....
he took dis battle no doubt.... punches: klo...he came out harder n strait foward.. flow: tie...good shyt by both humour: klo.sum of hiz linez were madd funnyy opener:feeble...kloz' waz kinda corny.....no vocab or anytin clozeR:klo...good shyt with that vote: klo good battle.......no hate *~1~* http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107625 vote on dis battle plze.....one |
Up #2.
Thanks for the vote, Killer. I'd vote on your battle, but I don't have a hundred posts yet, so I can't. |
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------up #3
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Yes I'm a newbie, but after this you'll really think I'm not.
When I drop my verse, you feel like you just been shot. opening could have had more, not much of a punch in your bar.. meta isnt that hard My verbs and adverbs hit you with everything I got while your nouns stay limp in your hands like your cock. lacking a little bit of strength in your punchs as well as direction Yes KLO's the name, and I'm about to explain why battling me is the worst kind of pain. filler... You're just a bitch, yeah, don't even continue; you'll need a support group after the raping I'ma give you. .... Don't even drop your shit, you might as well eat it; the nutrional value is high, you probably need it weak punch, metaphor needs to be worked on and the stains on your teeth are less humiliating than being defeated. not a bad closing, punch was alright you lack direction and strength in you bars.. Metaphors could have come across a little better, try an stay away from talking about yourself so much. Your flow was on target for the most part.. But lacked in your multis Klo don't try to escape, I kill kids with lines in a jolt.. I put out the light in ya head, u have no time to re volt.. ok opening, metaphor is alright, punch was ok to get the win with good character, he's methodly hoping... two wrongs dont make a right, so you need ethical motive.. losing flow a little, metaphor was good I aint readin ur verse, cuz u prolly aint rhymin, fuck.. this little bitch tried checkin in after his time was up.. oh did he now my lines are based in truth, givin you some pounding.. ur lines are awestricken, cuz they're all dumb founded punch is decent, good vocab though.liking your follow through dont give me this newbie shit, im already past it im just wonderin why yall like gettin ya ass whipped ? kind of a weak ending, not that good of a punch.. meta isnt there overall your verse was ok.. metaphors were ok, same with your punchs not much wordplay in it... vote- Feeble Minded Came with better punchs, his metaphors were better, flow wasnt the greatest but he still took it. |
iight...
Feeble took this... he had harder hitting punches... his flow was on, much more of the time... structure was better, as was his rhyme scheme... KLO... you jus need to elevate, direct your punches better, try using different words... use more complex ones... and sort out your structure... vote - Feeble can you hit up this topical battle please... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...188#post1109188 thanks |
Yes I'm a newbie, but after this you'll really think I'm not.
When I drop my verse, you feel like you just been shot. My verbs and adverbs hit you with everything I got while your nouns stay limp in your hands like your cock. Yes KLO's the name, and I'm about to explain why battling me is the worst kind of pain. You're just a bitch, yeah, don't even continue; you'll need a support group after the raping I'ma give you. Don't even drop your shit, you might as well eat it; the nutrional value is high, you probably need it and the stains on your teeth are less humiliating than being defeated. this was an aiight verse, but it could be used on anyone...Lacks personals -------------------------------------------------------- Klo don't try to escape, I kill kids with lines in a jolt.. I put out the light in ya head, u have no time to re volt.. to get the win with good character, he's methodly hoping... two wrongs dont make a right, so you need ethical motive.. I aint readin ur verse, cuz u prolly aint rhymin, fuck.. this little bitch tried checkin in after his time was up.. my lines are based in truth, givin you some pounding.. ur lines are awestricken, cuz they're all dumb founded dont give me this newbie shit, im already past it im just wonderin why yall like gettin ya ass whipped ? This verse is much more personal Punches - Feeble's verse contained more harder hitting personal punches Multi - Feeble took this category Wordplay - Feeble had one verse follow by another stronger verse. Flow - Flow was about a tie Complexity - Feeble used a better array of vocab which lead to a better verse I vote Feeble Minded in this battle. Please drop honest votes here... Battle Verses Quelude http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109584 Battle Verses Killa Kid http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109803 |
Yes I'm a newbie, but after this you'll really think I'm not.
When I drop my verse, you feel like you just been shot. weak opener.....way too basic My verbs and adverbs hit you with everything I got while your nouns stay limp in your hands like your cock. blah... Yes KLO's the name, and I'm about to explain why battling me is the worst kind of pain. your rhyme scheme is plain....no punches or personals You're just a bitch, yeah, don't even continue; you'll need a support group after the raping I'ma give you. a little better Don't even drop your shit, you might as well eat it; the nutrional value is high, you probably need it and the stains on your teeth are less humiliating than being defeated. weak closer...overall wasn't feelin this verse Klo don't try to escape, I kill kids with lines in a jolt.. I put out the light in ya head, u have no time to re volt.. nice opener...pretty creative to get the win with good character, he's methodly hoping... two wrongs dont make a right, so you need ethical motive.. not bad....too much filler though I aint readin ur verse, cuz u prolly aint rhymin, fuck.. this little bitch tried checkin in after his time was up.. okay.....it was pretty funny my lines are based in truth, givin you some pounding.. ur lines are awestricken, cuz they're all dumb founded this was pretty good dont give me this newbie shit, im already past it im just wonderin why yall like gettin ya ass whipped ? not bad closer.... overall i've seen feeble come harder but he still took this battle in every aspect, KLO you just need to look at some example verses and figure out what your doing wrong... |
return the favor and vote on the battle in my sig.
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WordPlay: Klo
Flow: KLO Punches: KLO Multis: none Metas:none Opener: Klo Closer: Feeble Fianl Vote: Klo Klo came much harder here. The Newb can spit. Peace. |
I polled all the valid votes, yo. upping.
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yo, upping, vote.
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up numero three
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okay here it is. Klo-good structure and flow, not very good punches thought they didh't hit too hard...Feeble-nice structure and flow, more personals more punches...
fav lines flo- Quote:
feeble- Quote:
overall feeble just came out punchin right away while flo u had more flow then punches....and need to add more personals....vote-feeble good battle ya'll peace |
Flow=Tie, you both had good stuff, and both of your structures were good.
Punches=Feeble, he had a few more punches, KLO didn't really have any real punches until the very end. Personals=Tie, I didn't really see any personals. Vocab=Feeble, he had a lot higher lever of vocab in this. KLO it just seemed like he didn't really try to put more vocab in there. Over all vote=Feeble |
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