RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Textual Releases (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   Me And You. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=112684)

pot1ent 02-07-04 09:06 AM

Me And You.
 
This Passion Has Swarmed, Just Like The Locusts On Crops By Moses
My Fashion Thats Warmed, Lines Indescribed How Your Hot In Poses
These Rations Of Mourned, Sadness Has Our Realationship Weigh Out
Don't Show The Way Out!! Contrast A Farmer The Way I Crave Drout
Never Do I Pervade Doubt, I See You And My Heart Like A Stress Ball
Beating Faster Rave Clout, Anxiously I Wait When We'll Express Brawl
You Pull My Heart Strings, Like Your Just Pussy Playing While Clawing
I Can't Say Smart Things When I'm Talking To You With Style Nawing
I'm Your Pet Hamster Then Think I'm Running It But I'm On The Wheel
A Cell Trecks Cancer But With Punishing Pains I Ever So Strongly Feel
The Complex Pamper, Have Hard Times And We Look Like Silk Cushion
We Don't Sink Pond Ice, Other Dogs Are Huskey And They're Mushing
Your My Most Fond Life, Your The Gears To Make Me Function Proper
Me And You Bond Right Crossed Roads Like We Both Junction Stopper
Eyes Gleam Under Stars Your My Moon The Way You Reflect My Light
Blunders Blunder Far, When Your Close Too Me And Protect My Sight
You Are My Life, For The Rest Of My Life . . .

Freeman 02-07-04 09:12 AM

iight...

Never read anything from you before...
This was pretty decent actually...

Played topic... Love... But love is always good to write about...

You had some good emotion in this piece... Vocabulary wasnt amazing... But it was quite decent... Flow was on through-out... That was nice... You hade some nice concepts...

Only really need to up your vocabulary... Nothing major...

Keep dropping...

Hit up something in my sig... Thanks...

Pz...

Archival 02-07-04 09:12 AM

This was a cool drop. Easy and enjoyable read. I loved the rhyme scheme at the begining. It seemed to fad as it went along, but the whole piece was nice. Emotions were ok...better in some parts. I don't know why, but i love that last line. This was worth the read. Keep up the good work.

Please drop feedback here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112603

HeXen 02-07-04 09:17 AM

Pot1ent, this is one of the best that I have seen you do.
The multis and the flow was top class. u used your creativity
to make a wicked rhyme, and the structure of it was also good.
The wordplay was top again.
keep it up

Dev 02-07-04 09:20 AM

another love thing, not really my scene, but you handled it well.... really got your feeling across in it.... and some good wordplay and imagery... with the multis and internals it erally got the flow going to, so yeah good drop here.... jus not my kinda topic.....

NewPort 02-07-04 09:31 AM

Well you know what your doin kid. Another enjoyable piece
to read from you. I enjoyed this. Played topic, but you handled
it nicely throughout. The structure was even, the rhyme scheme
worked great with your flow.. Overall this was a good piece
keep it up kid

Edicius 02-07-04 11:09 AM

This was dope, the multis were awesome,.. word, noone mentions that fuckers..!, flow was close to perfect, ..& the topic, yea it was played but eh u worked it out nicely w/ the vocab , flow multis, inners, & content u added to the topic, .. opener was straight fire i loved it, .. word just dope,.. =)

Upper.

K.Largo 02-07-04 12:31 PM

this kids fire read and learn every line was well thought off
the metas were flowing ever so greatly. multies all over the place
not a mistake anywhere..i enjoyed the pussy clawing line cause it's so true.
brother u impress me more and more and more..props keep writing

pot1ent 02-07-04 12:48 PM

Okay, I Really Appreicate The Feed.

Its nice to know that people are feeling what i'm writing, and recognizing the skills i got now, i think since i people think this is good, i'm going to have to say how i got too here, So i'ma have to give props to people I have never met, But over the net they have been really generous with their time too help me, and too give someone who was once really wack a chance to absorb their teachings, First off, K.Largo, I appreciate the faith you have pledged in me, also without you i don't think i would have original rhyme schemes, I will not forget the times when you gave up time to help me get my shit sorted, Your an inspiratoin. Camerac, I know you prolly don't like me but along with Bigg E Z your both english heads who have inspired me. Also some who else been there from the beginning and really pushing me is ed., i mean we been elevating together ' Pot'Ed nigger ' thats what i'm talking about like everyone else. I will never forgot how many times you worked through the block with me Ed. Your my twin. blah blah, i could be going on for ages who inspired me or who helped me and also it sounds cheesy. But Peace.

pot1ent 02-07-04 04:32 PM

Aiight now the props are done, Any more comments?

Tsar Casm 02-07-04 05:40 PM

This was extremely dope..great..
Dope internals..great flow..
Pretty multis..attacked your topic..
Loved it..Haven't seen much from you..
Lately..Nice drop..great piece..
Props..

Ace of Aces 02-07-04 06:19 PM

dope verse. well expressed points. a very enjoyable read. it seemed pretty
original so that made it even better. the flow was great, as well as the style.
and the complexity was quite there. the meaning to it was there also so that
was nice. i liked this one. keep at it.

hit this up plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457

thanx.

pz

pot1ent 02-08-04 06:00 AM

Thanks, Much Appreciated.

Funky_phizzle 02-08-04 07:09 AM

... Excellent

pot1ent 02-08-04 10:49 AM

WOW.. Shortest Reply Ever

Menik 02-08-04 01:39 PM

I Agree...This Was Really A Nice Piece....I Liked This One Better Than The Other One I Read The Other Day...Probably Because I Like Reading About Love Stuff lol....I Thought You Did Very Nice On This, I Enjoyed The Read....You Had Nice Multies, I Like Multies lol...Also Had Nice Internals, Very Nice....The Flow To This Was Great I Thought, Pretty Flawless...Overall A Very Nice Piece Man.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:41 AM.