|
Edicius Ft. Penskills. - Lover's Thought.
Edicius . . The power she possesed,enormous,but not close to ideal always trying to obliberate the fact's of her own conceal She feld alone & a prisoner of pureness & her own beauty she couldnt benefit her powers &there for she just failed to accomplish her fiduciary duty . . Our relation so fragile.. yet W/ the power to be a succes.. yet in between limits & boundaries of us, will it transgress? & pass beyond my own immagination ,what is this relation! His admiration&the trouble for me sayin no to this temtation Our paths crossed & i knew this would last forever & ever.. & the conscientious activity's we intented to get endeavour Him and me a story ment to be, a collission of pure & beauty Like a dignified, honarable & worthy,site of my own lower self Cause the quantity of 'Us' did multiplied..& did it just by itself . . Penskills . . A tale of me and her, immediately bonded shielding hostility We were bound to occur, nobody could take our fertility Weak minds using sex to allure, yet I love you for your serenity Fronting acts of hardcore, Then I always chase for your divinity Fell for you from my first breath, beauty left this man gasping Violence is at unspeakable depths, yet I seek your hands grasping Examinations from above, Witness to your flowering at the park Cement walls enclosed Love, Yet we flow.. empowering lust at dark Yeah I stayed in your reality, didnt go when outside cats hit your ability You had the flyest mentality, even with your cravings fo profitability Thoughts I can respect, went straight to the heart, obviously smothered My speech you could disect, yet you listen and incite topics I covered Small will for confrontation, outside feelings vs. your inner essence Tired of being a walkin presentation, had to show your independence Expressions reached its peak, Time can only tell if it will help-you This love that I speak, Is and forever will be ith you... |
Nice.... good opener
good vocabulary... nice rhyme scheme Good structure Some decent imagery overall.... good shit... Wanna see more...... Legendary Material maybe |
Dope
Ed, Dope Imagery And Vocab...Grasped The Topic Well, And Showed Real Feeling Put Into This. Flow, Internals, Vocab...All Very Good. Dope Verse From You. Penskills, I've Never Read Anything From You...And That Was Dope...Vocab Used Worked Well With The Image You Portrayed. Internals Were Very Good, Flow Was A Bit Here & There In The Middle Of The Verse, Nothing Major. Dope Collab Guys. |
Word.. Thanks man.. Upper..
|
I must say this was a great piece & a even better collab.
Edicius..a man we all know, & known to be a good writer.. Still surprises me alot.. The approach was definately 'Ed-like' & the way u described it, Could only be considerd skilled, with the inners wel represented.. Vocabulairy..& Flow.. on point, good. Also on a less important note, good structure.. I like it ^_^ Penskills, whats left to say..all has been said this past week.. & i see why.. nice work. Imagery was nice..& you to packed your part with alot of vocab & what not. I definately see this duo..or w/e doing great things. You work well with each other & ur styles melt toghether well. I'd nominate this for Open Mic of the month.. But.. Im to lazy. |
This was one of the better pieces i've seen from ed if not thte best, but i haven't read many of penskills if any, but i think your a very good writer, Both of you actually compliment each others style, adn i'm not just saying that, thew structure was nice from both of you, even thought doesn't mean much, but more importantly the flow was dope, i saw some tight as inners from both, the topic got me thinking, just about love really, it was a bit of a played topic, but everyones topics basically boil down to one being done before, but you managed to give this a fresh feel to it
The power she possesed,enormous,but not close to ideal always trying to obliberate the fact's of her own conceal ^ your opening ed was perfect. worded so dopely, nice multi Fell for you from my first breath, beauty left this man gasping Violence is at unspeakable depths, yet I seek your hands grasping ^ Penskills, a very nice rhyme scheme going on then, nice multis Overall: This Is Dope As Fuck. Props Edicius is also one of my biggest inspirations.. Let It Be Known. |
if i said it was dope, i would be robbing both of you of the title you deserve, this was more than dope..this was honest and emotive and basically had no faultS. YOU BOTH DESERVE SOME RECOGNITION FOR THIS, KEEP RHYMIN.
|
Wow..Ed...your dope...and..that..Penskills guy...he's tight....^.^...thanks people..
|
You are just awfully enthusiastic, aren't you..
|
Very Dope Piece, Edicius, Basically I have read ALOT from You, and this proves to be one of the best, Because You painted such a perfect picture, And Your flow was just fucking cool. That was a great verse, great way to start things off.
Penskills, Very dope way to continue the verse, without bringing down the quality. A Beautiful way to compliment each other in this piece, No real weaknesses, but A very good piece, and a pretty unique way to attack the topic. Very heavy Maaan.. |
good drop.......i liked the emotion in content, sumtimes words were forced inta spots where they shouldnt have been...........tha rhyme scheme by both was ok, i felt tha flow a lil more in pinskills drop.......both of tha drops were deep, sum parts lacked..........but keep it up, stay real, peace, 1
|
your guy's stuff compliments each other's work very well. its a well done collab.
ed, your piece opened up the whole thing very well, it was very strong, with a great flow, structure and great vocab. your content was beautiful, well written with good detail. pen, your piece kept the piece going nicely, matching the flow and structure of ed's nicely. your vocab was strong too. you did a good job ending this, and didnt drag it out. all in all this piece was beautiful, full of emotion and just wow! lol very nice job guys! ~Tera~ DONT HATE |
damn you both...this ws a nice peice from both..as usual...i didnt really expect any less definately not from these two..so ill adress each individually..
Eddy- ths was dope..flow was good..vocab and shit contact made it hit home.. mad alot of good points that most lovers or people in love would understand...this topica touches everyone in a way because everyone has been or will be in love...and you showed that.. Penskills- dope of course..i never see anything bad from you..nice use of multies..not over use just enough which is normal for you..and as stated by ace..i have yet to see anything bad form you...so cheers to you man for enlightening the OM's with your peices... Both- good shut man...looking forward for more..pz -Daz |
pretty dope. nice collaboration. a great topic also. the verses went well together.
they tied in to express the topic very well. this was a nice read. the vocab was nice. the flow was nice. and the style was even nicer. you seem to know wut you're doing. keep at it. hit this up plz: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457 peace |
Damn Ed n penskills...i really dont need to say nething cauz evry1 else has said it already, the drop was dope n the collab was like sumtin that was meant to be, yall had sum tight ass drops but this collab proves to be the best ive seen from both o yall n it really shows on how yall used extreme skill, basically this was dopeness n i consider sum legendary shit but ..thats my opinion..overall sum good ass shit..keep droppin tight shit..both o yall...n keep doin wut u do best
Peace |
This was very nice... content was good... decent concept (not completely original) but still carried out well.
Good imagery.... good technical piece (ie. good flow etc.) I'd break down even further but its all been said. Good drop kiddos |
thanks folks!!! anyone else~~~???
|
edicius- this piece was very emotionally driven. I think you worry too much about your lines lining up perfectly, because you use & instead of and....which is awkward looking. I think you misused a few words too("conceal"). is fiduciary a word? Yoru writer's voice was fairly strong, and you had some good vocab. nice work.
penskills-very dope my man. your piece was just as emotionally driven as Ed's, but I think you put more description into the relationship between you and the chick. You combined slang with wicked vocab ("flyest metality") and it made for a cool contrast that makes your style unique. Not bad at all dude. Nice collab |
damn good om here.....flow was great from both...imagry nice....vocab only outdone by itself.....structures were good......consistant on the topic.....well written...
dope peice fellas liked it alot but wanted to see more........8.5/10 |
yes they are all words, lmao.. i never structure.. only now, & its nice to write with the & .. ;) .. i did more the topical aspects,.. he payed more attention to the story.. a lil, .. just to fill me up .. its called collabing :) .. thnx & upper.
|
Oh & look up the words if u dont know them!, than find out what they mean.. than u can say this belongs in legends!.. = ) haha lol
Upper..... |
Uppity Up~~~~~~~~
|
Again Again and Again,this was a good collabo. Very good vocab and wordplay. I think you too are the best collabo on the list. Both of you had good flow. Keep it up.
|
This was a pretty decent piece. Ed, your verse was nice. The flow was cool. The emotion was there, and it was a pretty easy read. Nice verse. Pen, you had a good verse too. I like the way you word things. The feeling was there in this verse too. It was an enjoyable read. Nice collabo, fellas.
Ed, please drop feed here: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112603 |
^ Thanks~~~~More~~~~
|
~~~Misfits~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`we rock~~~~~~~~~~~~`
|
Dope piece .. Nice topic flipped dopely .. Both verses went together dopely and made this a good collab .. I read this over twice to find a quotable from each verse cuz I didn't wanna quote entire sections so I came down to one from each that I thought described each of ur verses perfectly ..
Edicius & pass beyond my own immagination ,what is this relation! His admiration&the trouble for me sayin no to this temtation Peniskills Weak minds using sex to allure, yet I love you for your serenity Fronting acts of hardcore, Then I always chase for your divinity Those 2 lines in each verse juss jumped out at me while readin' this piece .. Very nicely done here fellas .. Keep writin' together .. This was a dope piece on both sides and as a whole .. Keep it up .. One |
Eddy...
Nice vocab level...flow was good but that short line in 1st part kinda threw me off as did this line Our paths crossed & i knew this would last forever & ever.. & the conscientious activity's we intented to get endeavour i never knew Endeavour could be used in that context, unless im thinking of another word.. good drop here i was just confused as to what you were trying to say. You seem to be going in too many directions at once.. Penny.. Yeah I stayed in your reality, didnt go when outside cats hit your ability You had the flyest mentality, even with your cravings fo profitability seemed kinda forced to me.. i guess im just an idiot because you also seem to be going in too many directions...while your content is soley based on a girl it still seems to be going too many places. Try and incorportate some better transitions and you should be good to go check my sig, i do poetry |
The best way to write to a topic, is to not write specific to the topic.
Thanks man for the break/feed, appreciated.. =) Mister Poet. |
yup...ill as I imagined
Gud verses both of U..Liked Ed's Multi's in his verse N pen's worplay and imagery is ill as fuk 9/10 for ya's there lads Hit up the Fatigue link in my sig |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:18 AM. |