dagreatest vs. D.U.
 

aight here we go


may the best man win

Aight Here It Is


May The Best Man Win

My flows so vicious/while yours is ridiculous/its like eminem versus a clown/I’ll eat ya for breakfast/my words I spit are so deadly/they feel like bullets/when they hit ya/my mouths like a gun/and I’ma assassinate ya/you spit shit/while I spit fiya/taking me on playa/u might as well sign your own death certificate/this dick aint stepping to me/like ja rule/u about to lose all your street credit/but fuk it/you just a broke ass kid/like murda inc/dick-sucking lips/u an ass kissing faggot/fucking dummy/this shit’ll get you vex’d/you need to work on your flow/cos you aint up to this test/already acting like an MC/you more like a newbie/this is my playground/and yo ass is about to get bullied/don’t test me/my verses are so lyrical/I’ll beat you in anything/even if it gets physical/my flow will make u go suicidal/so its best if you throw in the towel/cos you got you whole life in front of you/can find your girl/in my bedroom/she don’t love you/you rubbish in action/so came to me for some instant satisfaction/even though I aint the best rapper alive/I’ll be remembered/while people will be like D.U who?/oh yeh dagreatest just killed that guy

where is that guy, come on D.U - u wanted this batlle, so here it is, i'm bringing it to you, c'mon man you pussy

abd i'm still a beginner so can someone tell me how my verse was, cos i need the feedback in order to improve

I like your attitude man. So here's a few thoughts, take 'em for what they're worth.

Rhymes: there's a fine line between close rhymes that work and those that don't. I liked the "newbie / bullied" rhyme even though it wasn't an exact rhyme, 'cause it worked. But the "broke ass kid / dick sucking lips" rhyme didn't work. It's not quite close enough, and one-syllable rhymes need to be really good to work well.

Format: after you write your stuff, go back and break it down into lines that more or less follow the beat and show where one line ends and the next one begins. Unless of course you're doing a total free-flow verse on purpose and not trying to stay on the beat.

Wordplay: your best stuff (IMO) in this verse was "this is my playground and yo ass is about to get bullied". That's a good metaphor. Do more of that stuff.

Peace and god bless.

safe man, thanx for the advice, i need more advice like that, thanx alot man

[B]look who showed up[/B]
 

my fault, midterms, forgot bout it, enuff excuses, im here lets

believe DU neva been killed, kause he spit lecture w/ skills,
u'll get sever'd for real, ileave yo fukn' head by yo' heels/
dagreatest was that actually a battle rap, the raps i speak'll baffle kats,
i attack w/ speech n stab the track, u're whack, u're weak, u're whack, u're whack/
homie, i dont even take u serious,yo style a joke and a gimmick,
dem lines were probably wroten so timid, posin' a image/
like u kant flo, word to the wise, give it up,
yo' spittin' sucks, u ig'rant fuck, DU neva pull his britches up/
gangsta fella, fuk that, that flo u wrote was garbage,
i hope u kno that partner, these quotes'll roast an artist/
look homie, i post up on yo' playground w/ grams on my waist
sittn' on top of the monkeybars while u got sand in yo face/
bullyin' in my blood, and sick bars is stuck in my saliva,
DU, im "Done Urgin", i wanna deal constructn' up so lava/
believe, ima be placed as the winner,
my flo's is like 2 Rugers at yo' temple, let'em race to the center/
im street and i battle w/ caged rage,
beat 2/5's outta negro, take bak 2 his slave days/
Dagreatest ima damage this fool,
i'll turn yo' white tee into a fukn' matador's tool/
mufuka u garbage, i flare weed and then write,
DU vs. Dagreatest, its not fair,even, or right/
i spit w/ cursed similies,fueled by reversed energy,
Dagreatest fuk u, yo best friend and yo worst enemy/

apologys again, 4 the delay, so i made sure it was worth the wait,
i crush the fukn' and someone feel different, u're fukn stupid as him for acceptn' the batte and then writin that whack ass flo,

damn i crush this fukn asshole :thefinger

i kno i took all day, but damn, kant yall kome on and give me my votes, so i kan get this 1st W under my belt, thank u

aight look dagreatest you was coo but you still in training but this was a coo dude to battle because he was on your level...but im lovin some of your lines like the bullied one...you need to practice on making mo of them and you need mo of a vocab....and the last liine was a coo way to end it..5/10

D.u you were coo but i wasnt feelin yo style but it was pretty coo kinda even...your rap was longer but it also took you alot longer...4 1/2 /10
i vote on yours now vote on some of mines

may the best man win...

if tipdrill aint on, there's nuthin betta 2 do besides vote, so hurry up and vote, or kome challenge me, fuk u

There were a couple of shaky points in DU's spit ("constructin' up so lava"? huh?) but he still wins the match with more wordplay and creative punches. dagreatest had some heart and the aggressive attitude to make a real battle out of it, but wasn't up to par on those technical marks. Vote goes to DU.

i would definitely say DU took this, much more creative with punches, needs to still work on your flow a little, that punch about sittin on the top of them monkey bars was tight,

da greatest, work on your flow, i had a hard time reading and following your structure, keep it up, youll get it

there were a lot of things in du's that i thought was wack as fuck... like saying whack.... 3 times? Well anyways, since he had better word play and punches ima give it to him..

But dagreatest... Try and astructure your shit more, Dont use so many /'s. Make your lines longer and work on your wordplay and metas. If you get that down then you'll be good, cause your not to bad at rhymin.

hey and can ya hit up my battle with king gremlin.... Its appreciated...

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=116053

thx...

yo since i voted on your battles show some love and check out some of my battles, Vango vs slaughta, Vango vs optimum.

Peace
Vango