Atticus Vs SnypeR
 

10-20 lines max
30 minute deadline
we both put down our rhymes at the same time

shit SnypeR i aint takin track of time im done wit my joint. tell me when

fuck the 30 min rule, man don't be writin no pre meditated shit either.

I'm back..........................................

post up.............................................

ready to throw down?...............................

I said post up................................................ ......

everythings set up... whats missin................

Post your verse and stop cloggin the thread stallin and shit...........................

aMy name is greek
atticus brings snyper the grief
market PDI saw the disease
So how could snype possibly handle THIS BEEF?
I'm snipe'n snyper from 90 thoughts up
Not on my level cuz U lower than 'dirty pots'
and I'm higher than 'shiney cups'
talkin shit in ghetto
better leg it out my 'grimey cuts'
Mellow head better frollic back 2 his meadow
Im surrounded by demons
Snype the only thing u shootin is leakin super soakers
wit ya man super soldiers semen
told his girl snype like skeet skirt
but the bitch don't believe it
so in ya hands my erect dick I'mma leave it

just wanna battle

just like I thought...........waste of time...........I see why TOoN didn't want to battle you...............anywayz..............a quickie.............


Check, kid it's on! I'ma rip apart your ass like a shard of glass/
Beat Snyper? Nah cause like 'kidney stones', I'm 'hard to pass'/
I kill em' all thats why no emcee can stand me/
listen son, "masterbation" is the only way you'd "Cum in Handy"/
My brutal bars are blessings, so I'ma charge for lessons/
With your lost direction, you couldn't..../
'Think' of 'shit' if I 'connected your brain' to ya 'large intestines'/
What's the odds? Fuck guessing, a win, Atticus is barly testing/
The truth? Atticus takes more 'Buck' shots then 'Gary Payton'/
Let's go! No more wasting time, this is my very last threat cus...../
Like siamese twins in a womb, ya don't know the "half" yet/
I got some fan letters from the dark sense today, so I'ma begin to read these.../
"My gawd snyper, your off tha chain like an extinct spiecies"/
Atticus brainless, so ima confirm ya fears your verse wouldnt be "fly" if it came equipped with "landing gears"/
"crack the whip" and leave lashes like "Indiana Jones" im breakin bones son you couldnt "rock a crowd" if you "hit em wit stones"/

aight imma steal your style cuz i like that... sike im playin... yea i was a waste of ur time i lost... but its practice anyways.

damn my raps are sorry............................

ok i vote snyper becuz i love tray-six and becuz atticus sed he wuz beat..that's no cool..neva admit u beat on a thread..send a PM wit that..becuz SNYPER did lyrical whip ur ass....sorry
vote YoungStar vs lyrical chick
and all otha YoungStar battlez

thanx............uppin............................ ....................

uppin^^^^^^....................................... ...............

uppin............................................. ...................

uppin............................................. .

snyper good flow good punches work on vocab nad personals
atticus ok flow ok punches i guess u need to work on vocab personals structure basically alo
snyper took this easy

It's obvious snyper won this, and it should be obvious *why* he won, so instead of wasting time explaining that, I'ma give a short critique of Atticus' verse for his benefit.

"My name is greek" -- Irrelevant, since you didn't spin this into any kind of wordplay.
"atticus brings snyper the grief" -- Filler. Leave it out unless you need it for a complex rhyme scheme.
"market PDI saw the disease / So how could snype possibly handle THIS BEEF?" -- Okay, here's one concept you turned into a punchline. It'd be tighter if you reworded it though.
"I'm snipe'n snyper from 90 thoughts up" -- A personal, which is good, and a metaphor "90 thoughts up" which is also pretty good.
"Not on my level cuz U lower than 'dirty pots' / and I'm higher than 'shiney cups' / talkin shit in ghetto / better leg it out my 'grimey cuts' " -- Strange references that I didn't really get, unless dirty pots are toilet bowls and shiny cups are trophies or something like that. You seem to have a concept in mind but aren't expressing it too clearly. Also I don't get your slang like "grimey cuts", but that could be my fault.
"Mellow head better frollic back 2 his meadow " -- The idea is okay, but even using words like "frolic" and "meadow" seems to soften the feel of your battle verse. This would work better if you'd just thrown a really hard punch and *shown* that your opponent is soft enough to earn those descriptive words.
"Im surrounded by demons " -- Just fodder for the comeback, which Snyper didn't even need to use.
"Snype the only thing u shootin is leakin super soakers / wit ya man super soldiers semen" -- Another personal; the first line was alright but the second one sounded awkward (does Snype have a crewmate called "super soldier"?).
"told his girl snype like skeet skirt " -- Another slang ref I didn't get.
"but the bitch don't believe it / so in ya hands my erect dick I'mma leave it " -- Doesn't make enough sense to come off as hard as you intended.

Okay, hope that was helpful. Vote = snyper, if I didn't already make that obvious.

Check, kid it's on! I'ma rip apart your ass like a shard of glass/
Beat Snyper? Nah cause like 'kidney stones', I'm 'hard to pass'/
I kill em' all thats why no emcee can stand me/
listen son, "masterbation" is the only way you'd "Cum in Handy"/
My brutal bars are blessings, so I'ma charge for lessons/
With your lost direction, you couldn't..../
'Think' of 'shit' if I 'connected your brain' to ya 'large intestines'/
What's the odds? Fuck guessing, a win, Atticus is barly testing/
The truth? Atticus takes more 'Buck' shots then 'Gary Payton'/
Let's go! No more wasting time, this is my very last threat cus...../
Like siamese twins in a womb, ya don't know the "half" yet/
I got some fan letters from the dark sense today, so I'ma begin to read these.../
SNYPER IS A NUT
"crack the whip" and leave lashes like "Indiana Jones" im breakin bones son you couldnt "rock a crowd" if you "hit em wit stones"/

Snyper has it
 

This 1 goes to sniper, wat the the hell sort of first line did atticus post

uppin............................................. ................

Woah... No contest. Like ya said atticus, you verse is sorry. Snyper took this in every category. Nothing really to say except elevate atticus

V/ SnypeR