Plague of the Poison Hearted
 

Damnation brought to these lands
Held above in bloody hands
Though you decide not to speak
We know your thoughts of Him
A rose pedal seat, Only mentally he is throned
But He is blind to your eyes
Keeps you in belief with pages wrapped in disguise
Our minds unleashed, bodys to feast
Your ignorance has baited the beast

Demons roam in our black lives
Destruction led by mercyless bands
He won't save you, Abandoned by your god
The river recently tinted blood red
Filled to the brim by My Army
I fight against the name, I kill ruthlessly because of Him

I lead you all to the Gates of Righteousness
Demons under my wing, Beasts weilding my weapons
Holy lands burnt because of my exile
Angelic blood spread to show warning of true power
Now follow, and Now you must.

Without touching a soul, or creating a life departed
I leave your land in ruins, spreading the Plague of the Poison Hearted.

another hot poem dog!
your multi talented with rhymes!

thanks... more feedback?

that was hella coo..see that is how i need to write my poems...

hah thanks. If you people dont understand a meaning, but can tell who is speaking. I put this in the eyes Lucifer when he was trying to get back at god for being exiled. But i wrote it as a way to show that even the most 'divine' reature critisizes because of someones opinion.

feedback?

uppin

-cough-

-cough again..- sorry, something in my throat.

Yes, yes, this was straight indeed!!! Your ish be deep, you're flowing on another level

thanks... uppin

damn nice i wish i could write shite like that straight ill wana see more

check my other s that are in my siggy.

wow that shit was hot....

thanks.

dont know too much bout poetry or read it often but even tho i dont i still can say ur ish is clean bro...........keep it up...............i dont know how you do it man but i want more..heh if i read more of urs i might have a dif perspective on poetry.........

Demons roam in our black lives
Destruction led by mercyless bands
He won't save you, Abandoned by your god
The river recently tinted blood red
Filled to the brim by My Army
I fight against the name, I kill ruthlessly because of Him

^ wow that was the best verse out of them all. It was truly deep and i liked how you carried a steady message through out, good flow

Thanks. This is a poem that is being made into a song(Im in a band). and i think it has a really tight message.

Ok, personally I think this is the one of the weaker poems you've written (I think I've read all the other ones). Although flow certainly isn't the same in poetry as rap, the thing still feels a little clunky in spots, though I suppose it might just be the way I'm reading it. Also, it felt a little odd, the first two lines in the first stanza seem better suited for the second stanza, although perhaps I'm missing something (never been all that great with poetry :help:). The last four lines of the first stanza were very nice though. In the fourth line, second stanza, I wish you had done more with the river.. I mean the whole "water" thing is a very strong tool in poetry, and you could have more than just "The River." The third stanza was nice, but the last line felt out of place and a little clunky. I liked the ending a lot though.

Nice poem, surely, but I think it could use a little bit of cleaning up. Like I said though, you probably know more about poetry than I do.. so feel free to explain some of the stuff or ask for more feedback.

Peace.

hah... ok, I do not worry about flow. I am emotion and imagery. But thanks for the input.

Yeah I know.. I'm just a flow kind of guy :D

word
 

man you are a true person peace!

^ hah... I dont know what your talking about ..but thanks.