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BlackThief Vs Fatal LyrikzZ
Fatal Verse
I Leave This Boy Bruised Black And Blue.| Finally You Posted But Like A Library Ya Post Was Overdue..| Inflicting Wounds The Only Thing You Inflict Is Cancer And Diabetes.| Next Time I Shouldnt Battle Him Cause He Causin Diseases.| He Askin In Front Lines Can I Come Out And Play.| And The Only Trigger He Pulled Was A Bottle Of Cleaning Spray.| What Makes Him Have Confidence He Cant Even Spell.| He Had A CORDLESS Phone But Shit Still He FELL.| Last Line Have A Nice Day While I Inflict Venom In Ya Skin.| He Tangled Like A ~Violin~ Within His Brain He Cant ~WIN~ ________________- Black Thief Verse aiight is this another battle or just another roast// just another reason why people shit on on tha West Coast// And if you think you really gonna win son...who taught ya// I'll leave cats at tha crime scene like "who shot ya?"// Another cat from Cali who thiink he "hella" hot// but u can get popped too...so u can be just like Pac// cause California may know how to party/// but in tha dirty dirty all we do is ride wit shottys// Fatal lyrics, or self inflicted wounds// fuck killin u son...I'll shove ya back into tha womb.....a bloody tomb...RIP |
Alright PLease Poll Vote On This Sry Bout Tha Otha THREADS
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upppin.............lets get some votes plz.
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uppin....
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upppin..........
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Vote !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
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http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=119676
yo I'll come with a honest vote if you hit this battle up |
this battle between me and truth is hot...yall need to vote...i'll returnt th favor
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=119513 |
Fatal
Flow – nice Punches – I don’t know, it’s hard to tell, ya burnt yaself with the Disease line And lost me with the CORDLESS line Personals – nice ya could go deeper into it Meti’s – you were styling it out All and all – I didn’t feel it, nice flow but a bit confusing – 4/10 Best line “I Leave This Boy Bruised Black And Blue Finally You Posted But Like A Library Ya Post Was Overdue” Black thief Flow – yeah….you stuck it through Punches – every line, great opener Personals – yeah I liked yours more Meti’s – ok All and all – much better then him, 6/10 Best line “cause California may know how to party, but in tha dirty dirty all we do is ride wit shotty’s” Vote Black Thief |
preciate tha feedback.....uppin.....................
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uppin
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Here's how I saw it, line by line........
I Leave This Boy Bruised Black And Blue.| Finally You Posted But Like A Library Ya Post Was Overdue..| Needs to be reworded.....shakey start Inflicting Wounds The Only Thing You Inflict Is Cancer And Diabetes.| Next Time I Shouldnt Battle Him Cause He Causin Diseases.| Can't really inflict diabetes........ He Askin In Front Lines Can I Come Out And Play.| And The Only Trigger He Pulled Was A Bottle Of Cleaning Spray.| Creative...... What Makes Him Have Confidence He Cant Even Spell.| He Had A CORDLESS Phone But Shit Still He FELL.| I just don't get it, maybe I'm readin it wrong Last Line Have A Nice Day While I Inflict Venom In Ya Skin.| He Tangled Like A ~Violin~ Within His Brain He Cant ~WIN~ Makes no sense...... aiight is this another battle or just another roast// just another reason why people shit on on tha West Coast// Nice personal...... And if you think you really gonna win son...who taught ya// I'll leave cats at tha crime scene like "who shot ya?"// Ehh.......Could be worded better Another cat from Cali who thiink he "hella" hot// but u can get popped too...so u can be just like Pac// Not bad cause California may know how to party/// but in tha dirty dirty all we do is ride wit shottys// Not really a punch...... Fatal lyrics, or self inflicted wounds// fuck killin u son...I'll shove ya back into tha womb.....a bloody tomb...RIP Nice Closer........Best punch in the battle Overall this was a one sided battle. Black thief came with a lot more creativity wit his punches. I feel that punches are what wins battles so I pretty much vote for whoever had the best punches. I'll tell ya about all the other stuff too though. Niether had any multis or good structure. Wordplay was minimal from both. Best Line......... Fatal lyrics, or self inflicted wounds// fuck killin u son...I'll shove ya back into tha womb.....a bloody tomb...RIP ^Black Thief Vote - Black Thief |
preciate all honesty and votes.......keep votin yall
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Punches: Fatal
Flow: Black Vocab: Fatal Opener: Black..."aiight is this another battle or just another roast// just another reason why people shit on on tha West Coast//" <~~Lol shyt was funny and real Closer: Fatal..."Last Line Have A Nice Day While I Inflict Venom In Ya Skin.| He Tangled Like A ~Violin~ Within His Brain He Cant ~WIN~" <~~iight line Creativity: Tie....nuffin really creative STructure: Tie Overall Vote: Black....i feel black won becuz his flow was better...the only thing that threw him off a lil was dat.."cause California may know how to party/// but in tha dirty dirty all we do is ride wit shottys//"..line |
Aight.. the phone line is a play on the joke that "yo moma so stupid she tripped on the cord of a wireless phone." I get it... but nobody else seems to which means you probably gotta reword it. Overall, your verse was too much prancying around with wordplay, no hard hitting action... you can have wordplay and punches, but dont sacrifice the latter for the former. The closer, for example, had a nice original multi but a weak as hell punch.
Black basically won this for his hella nice closer, notice the mutli that is used but also a nice punch and he opened with his second strongest punch and a personal. That's how you do a battle, in my opinion. The middle three bars weren't great, work on that, but the open and closer get the vote. Honest votes on my battle vs pp2 (link in sig). |
preciate tha feedback.....come on .....let me get 1 more vote for that win.....holla back and I will vote on ya battle to Shadow....
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come on......vote please.....holla back....
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Uppin Uppiin Lets Vote Please....
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keep voting people.......
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votes please.....uppi once again
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preciate all honesty and votes.......keep votin yall
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overall ok battle seen hotter from both fatal u came nice but i know u could do better than that shyt u had a couple nice punches and a couple multis the flow was decent and the structure was on as for black thief i was feelin ya verse punches wordplay structure and flow were all on but i still think u could have done better...overall ok battle
vote : balck |
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