Jay Dogg Vs. DeLeon
 

alright
10-12 lines

you gonna spit first

no crew
hate
or D/R votes

after you drop your i'll drop mine soon as i can

check in so i know you showin

checkin in im gonna spit now good luck son lets battle

im so fucked up in the head you scream when i drop/
deleon the guy in the corner with the pink top/
This homo thinks he is a true thug/
dude stop playin with your mamas rug/
enough said there homeboy/
playin with your bitches sex toy/
so now that im done killin dis kat/
gonna start bitin like a vampire bat/
we can start with the lyrical destruktion/
crew is goin down startin off with deleon/
dark knights startin the revolution/
get ready for some new age sound pollution/


dont be feedin off this shit son come on lets see what you got.

aight i'll drop like in 20 mins or as soon as i can dogg

ill give it half an hour then ill class it as a no show aight man cant have u away for ages writin shit down man no what i mean.

yea i feel ya..........................................

Like "trip'n fat bitches on hills" --my lines ill leave ya "roll'n"//
And tha only reason dudes think ya -tightz- cuase ya "cuntz deasesed and swoll'n"//
this kid's a joke- fillin me with laughter//
you couldnt mold a "HOT" verse-even if it was encased in plaster//
I dont need a blade- my ryhmes leave ya scarred//
Chokin on dick tha only time you have the right to spit hard//
you cant compare Lyrical D and tha dark knights/
cuz even i merked your leader-not even that hard of a fight//
from scotland huh- so you wearin one of them skirts//
you probably one of them fools that lived through abortion-to birth//

alright

How many of ya all are gonna use the god dam skirts line they are called Kilts im sick of hearin the skirt thing get some new shit against us dam it

ha ha ha ha alright lets get some votes in this battle right here

dont sleep on it drop your votes........................

yo damn fam u got merk'd on dis shit dawg wut was u think'n?? man vote goes to Deleon...his structure vocab and punches out way'd yours...simply put

don't return da favor cuz i don't want u ta feel u have ta vote fa me in ma battles stay up and focused one get at me "Emcee Arsenalz" takin ova....

breakdown:

jay dogg:

im so fucked up in the head you scream when i drop/
deleon the guy in the corner with the pink top/
^^ok opener good punch 7/10
This homo thinks he is a true thug/
dude stop playin with your mamas rug/
^^bad bar 3/10
enough said there homeboy/
playin with your bitches sex toy/
^^another bad bar no hard punch 3/10
so now that im done killin dis kat/
gonna start bitin like a vampire bat/
^^ok metaphor 6/10
we can start with the lyrical destruktion/
crew is goin down startin off with deleon/
^^just because they both end in "on" doesnt mean they rhyme 2/10
dark knights startin the revolution/
get ready for some new age sound pollution/
^^gay closer 3/10

overall: 24/60

DeLeon:

Like "trip'n fat bitches on hills" --my lines ill leave ya "roll'n"//
And tha only reason dudes think ya -tightz- cuase ya "cuntz deasesed and swoll'n"//
^^good first line 2nd line stretched good punch 6/10
this kid's a joke- fillin me with laughter//
you couldnt mold a "HOT" verse-even if it was encased in plaster//
^^good punch 2nd line stretched again 5/10
I dont need a blade- my ryhmes leave ya scarred//
Chokin on dick tha only time you have the right to spit hard//
^^2nd line is played but good flow 6/10
you cant compare Lyrical D and tha dark knights/
cuz even i merked your leader-not even that hard of a fight//
^^ok punch 5/10
from scotland huh- so you wearin one of them skirts//
you probably one of them fools that lived through abortion-to birth//
^^good closer best bar of battle 8/10

overall: 30/50

vote: DeLeon...overall his verse hit alot harder with better punches wordplay and structure...jay you really need to elevate your punches were bad structure was off only good bar was your opener pretty much...besides that u need to elevate

~!1!~

alright lets get some more votes in here....

straight up deleon takes this shyt wit better punches personals n vocab.........u had more complex lines wit showed u had betta creativity....jus keep werkin on ur meta's....jay dog.....ur shit was bad.....u had simple lines....nothin great.....srry but deleon takes this wit the more elevate verse....vote - deleon.....

uppin..........................

alright now lets close this out yall drop a vote on this battle here....

Damn Somebody Got Merked//

Deleon

Punches 8/10
Personals 8/10
Flowz 7/10
=20

Jay Dogg

Punches 5/10
Personals 6/10
Flowz 7/10
=18

Deleon Won Dis By Personals And Punches//

Vote=deleon

uppin to close this out................

Jay Dogg-U still didn't get there yet.Ur verse was too simple.Try to add wordplay and imagery to it.Flow was god,but punches were horrible.

Best line-no hating,but you had nutin

Worst-all
I hate to do that,but I got to be honest Jay.U need work.

Deleon-too many stretched lines.Jay dogg had tha better flow.Ur punches were OK though.

Best line-from scotland huh- so you wearin one of them skirts//
you probably one of them fools that lived through abortion-to birth//

Worst line-this kid's a joke- fillin me with laughter//
you couldnt mold a "HOT" verse-even if it was encased in plaster//

VOTE-DELEON
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=121779
^^ drop a vote in my battle