|
Blak Siinz VS .::N-Sight::.
no line limit just dont make it a book
verse due 2 hours after check in you must check in within the hour house rules |
topic noises in the basement
check in |
i know this is wack but whatever
(Point of View of a 7 year old) I hear the noises, in the dead of night I creep out of my bed, in spite of the fright I hear it, the second time this week But I won't be scared for it is a confrontation I seek I put on my clothes, and I hear it again I hear the faint noises, coming from the den I don't know what I'm doing, I start to convulse But I can't stop now, I'm acting on pure impulse I creep down the stairs, I don't make a noise I reach for the spade, and I stand poised To attack the first thing that shows it's face I open the door, and my heart starts to race What is making these sounds, in the dead of night Will it be a monster, a beastie, I hope not to die I raise up the spade, I can hear the moaning My head is ready, but my hearts not condoning The actions that I am about to take And then I pray to God for heaven's sake And then I see it, it has my mom! It keeps stabbing her on and on and on I take the spade right to that fuckers head I hit it again and again, until I'm sure it's dead My mom starts screaming, and I don't know why She hits me and hits me, and then starts to cry "Mom" I say "Why are you mad, I saved you can't you see." She says "No faggot, that guy was fucking me! So she beat me and hit me, until I was dead And she took MY spade, and hit me in MY head But before I died I let out a sigh "But Mom... I saved your life... |
Quote:
lOL that ish was funny |
^^ dawg...its 2 a fuckin clock in da morning...I'll check in and post 2moro
see u then and LOL @ u dictatin line limits and shit...geesh lata |
dawg i was gunna set it at 30but i wasnt sure if i would make it 35 so i just said unlimited just incase
|
The apparition: Mrs. Caldwell
This is a true story..
I was about 10 when.. My peeps decided to move to a secluded house..close to the woods.. It had white posts and brown shingles..we were folks from the hood.. So, the excited of a back yard was quite large..dual garage spaces.. I was riveted when it hit me that I was going to room in the basement.. The first night was all fright..but I noticed all night a light from the hall.. Right through my door to the adjacent room..it was like a light on the wall.. But, all the lamps were out so it didn't make sense..and then it shifted.. Moved up the wall a few inches..my body froze in place like a stiff gets.. The chills hit my neck and travelled down my spine..I was in a panic.. I managed to get up to shut my door..but the light had already vanisnhed.. I ran back and jumped under the covers..I almost bumped my head.. My breathing was shallow and quick..sweat drenched my bunk bed.. I thought it was all over when a moment later I heard a voice that said.. "Get out..get out of this house now, or you will all be dead".. It was fight or flight..so I dashed up a flight of stares to my peeps.. Out of breath, I could barely speak.."We gotta..gotta..get out..please.." But, they thought I was just having a bad dream..so I stayed the them.. The next day, moved all my shit upstairs becuz the basement was grim.. **But, that's not all folks**mhuahahaaaaaa Weeks later, that same basement became our family room..like a den.. When one night, we heard the sound of a child laughing..but kind of dim.. After that, it became bumping in the ceilings..we were feeling puzzled.. And once the noises became constant..we started to wonder.. Come to find out..the house built before ours had burned to the ground.. There were 2 fatalities in all..Mrs. Caldwell and her child.. **True Story..my mother still lives in that house..the original plumbing was laid in 1967..She had my grandmother, who is a minister, bless the house a few years ago. To this day, anyone who goes in that house feels like something is watching you when you walk up the stairs from the basement. You hear all kinds of strange noises. geesh...still gives me the chills to tell that story |
I give this one to black sinz because his was awesome in the rhyming, his opener was crazy, and his closure put the topic to its fame. so all together my vote goes to crazy and oh yea hit up in this battle so I can close it plz.
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=127385 |
hahaha....damn n-sight..u mess wit da wrong ppl..hahaha...he hella killed you!!!!!!!!!!!
|
ok
ok
black sinz structure woz nice,easy to read very well detailed verse.flowed very well u rhymed every line that shit woz real funny overall im gonna say 8/10-very gud verse...maybe cud use sum multis n more creative wordplay but woz a very gud spit n-sight structure woz ok but i felt ya lines were 2 long...flow woz aight,but cud b beta wit shorter linez....ur shit woz a true story so im feelin that.....but wasnt as funny n jus didnt grab my attention same as the ova cats....also a few of ur lines didnt rhyme which threw off the flow it woz aiight but u cud do a lot beta6/10 vote-black siinz |
NICE PRE WRITTEN Black...shouldn't have let u choose the topic...shudda known yu had shit already laid out...coo tho
u win some...u lose some... Next time..I CHOOSE the topic...cuz this basement shit was fucked up from the jump hmpf Im out |
N-Sight
u had some alright flow considering ure lines were pretty stretched, ure structure was good cuz u kept ure shit together. u stayed on topic which is always gud and u told a gud story, it was quite chilling. u had gud wordplay in there but some of it was pretty basic but overall u dropped a gud topical verse. Blak Siinz playa u had sum tight flow and structure, i think u did better than n-sight in this department playa. ure verse was fuckin hilarious and i got far more enjoyment from it than n-sight's especially at the end when ure mom killed u. that shit was funny dawg!! only problem was it sounded more like a nursery rhyme than a topical verse. also u kind of fell off topic at the end with ure mom killin u even tho it was funny. u had basic wordplay all the way thru to which let u down. OVERALL i'm givin this battle to n-sight cuz he had more complex vocabs and wordplay and he stayed on topic throughout, even tho i enjoyed blak's more cuz that was funny. u shud drop that shit in open mic or the poetry part!! a little tip n-sight...when u get a battle set up set the votin to at least 100 posts to vote so u dont get any of these herb voters who don't know wat they talkin about!! V/ - N-Sight |
How do u do that? cuz I'd def. do it from now on...
|
.::N-Sight::i like you shit better. i like that real life shit dawg, my old house wa sliek that and shit. scary shit.blak siinz no hard fellings but you shit was cool too, comical though. .::N-Sight::.'s shit was nice, alittle long but i like the ending. that shit makes you think..::N-Sight::. had a batter imagination. thats my verdict.
vote=.::N-Sight::. |
Structure = Sight
Flow = Sight Personals = Sight Punches = Draw Finisher = Sight Overall Vote = .:N-Sight:. Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
wow..iz dis possible??n-sigh is winnin..well i jst read your shyt agen...and forealz..your shyt actually waz good...surprised....
|
King and lyrical........nice riding N's dick....lol....but upppin this shit for more votes....honest votes!!!!and it wasnt prewritten i threw out like 15 topics this is the wun you chose
|
um i am gonna have to say insight
his sturcher was better the flow was i mean personals were just a lil bit better punches from both were good man ok they were hot for real um just need to bettter um this was a battle of clear vets thats it v/ sight Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
n-sight -
ur shyt waz pretty good..i gotta be honest..i waz surprised to see wut i saw...n u hella elevated i guess...ur shyt waz like serious da whole time..but dat iz also good..ur story line waz really good...Now i got da fucken chillz afta readin dat shyt...hahaha...forealz i do.. .................................................. ......................................... Weeks later, that same basement became our family room..like a den.. When one night, we heard the sound of a child laughing..but kind of dim.. After that, it became bumping in the ceilings..we were feeling puzzled.. And once the noises became constant..we started to wonder.. Come to find out..the house built before ours had burned to the ground.. There were 2 fatalities in all..Mrs. Caldwell and her child.. Sed by You .................................................. ......................................... did u want dat to rhyme???? Blak - ur shyt waz best overall..cuz ur shyt waz funny...dats basicly wut i look for in topical battles...i especially like your ending..haha...ur shyt waz in topic though..i do'nt know wut da others are sayin..forealz like u hearin noises in ur basement..kreepin down there..killin da person wit a spade...well dat basicly gave u da win... structure- blak flow - both comedic - blak story line - sight opener - blak finisher- blak ( funny az hellz) |
hahahaha...n-sight got me black listed..u don't want crew to vote..den why did king vote??hahaha
|
Quote:
how da hell were there personals??u guys are hella dick riding..personals are only for dis battles..hahaha..damn dawg...and how were there punches???did u even read dis???? |
^^^^ and ur tryna drop a hate vote...and I wasn't in Kings crew before he voted...
so stay out my thread... |
I think...im gonna giuve blakc sinnz this battle i liked his stort about the 7 year old if u think that kinda like reallity and little 7 years old rellly do that if i gavew him a score it would be like 40/50..for n-sight do not get me wront ur shit was hott but i was not connecting wit as good as i want with black sinn.zi would give you like a 37/50.
Vote-blak |
I hear the noises, in the dead of night
I creep out of my bed, in spite of the fright NICE GOOD OPENER 7/10 I hear it, the second time this week But I won't be scared for it is a confrontation I seek Ok line could have found some more words 6/10 I put on my clothes, and I hear it again I hear the faint noises, coming from the den Pretty good line i liked it 7/10 I don't know what I'm doing, I start to convulse But I can't stop now, I'm acting on pure impulse Good line 7/10 I creep down the stairs, I don't make a noise I reach for the spade, and I stand poised Awww.not a good verse 5/10 To attack the first thing that shows it's face I open the door, and my heart starts to race This was a good line 7/10 What is making these sounds, in the dead of night Will it be a monster, a beastie, I hope not to die Pretty good line...word rearrange 6/10 I raise up the spade, I can hear the moaning My head is ready, but my hearts not condoning Pretty good line 6/10 The actions that I am about to take And then I pray to God for heaven's sake Nice shit 6/10 And then I see it, it has my mom! It keeps stabbing her on and on and on Use on to many time 5/10 I take the spade right to that fuckers head I hit it again and again, until I'm sure it's dead That was a good line 7/10 My mom starts screaming, and I don't know why She hits me and hits me, and then starts to cry Urmm ur mom kinda crazy lol 4/10 "Mom" I say "Why are you mad, I saved you can't you see." She says "No faggot, that guy was fucking me! Funny as a bitch 8/10 So she beat me and hit me, until I was dead And she took MY spade, and hit me in MY head Use my too many time 5/10 But before I died I let out a sigh "But Mom... I saved your life... Weak closer 5/10 OVERALL for blak 91/150 |
My peeps decided to move to a secluded house..close to the woods..
It had white posts and brown shingles..we were folks from the hood.. An ok opener could have been better 6/10 So, the excited of a back yard was quite large..dual garage spaces.. I was riveted when it hit me that I was going to room in the basement.. Good line 7/10 The first night was all fright..but I noticed all night a light from the hall.. Right through my door to the adjacent room..it was like a light on the wall.. Nice line if ud id not use all the light....6/10 But, all the lamps were out so it didn't make sense..and then it shifted.. Moved up the wall a few inches..my body froze in place like a stiff gets. Nice line good 1 7/10 The chills hit my neck and travelled down my spine..I was in a panic.. I managed to get up to shut my door..but the light had already vanisnhed.. Nice shit 7/10 I ran back and jumped under the covers..I almost bumped my head.. My breathing was shallow and quick..sweat drenched my bunk bed.. Urm first line was good but second....needed work 5/10 I thought it was all over when a moment later I heard a voice that said.. "Get out..get out of this house now, or you will all be dead".. Idk why u was still in the house after u hear GET OUT lol 6/10 It was fight or flight..so I dashed up a flight of stares to my peeps.. Out of breath, I could barely speak.."We gotta..gotta..get out..please.." Already used the words "ights"4/10 But, they thought I was just having a bad dream..so I stayed the them.. The next day, moved all my shit upstairs becuz the basement was grim.. An alright line 5/10 **But, that's not all folks**mhuahahaaaaaa 0/10 Weeks later, that same basement became our family room..like a den.. When one night, we heard the sound of a child laughing..but kind of dim.. Ok line i lied it 7/10 After that, it became bumping in the ceilings..we were feeling puzzled.. And once the noises became constant..we started to wonder.. urmm here it goes again lol 5/10 Come to find out..the house built before ours had burned to the ground.. There were 2 fatalities in all..Mrs. Caldwell and her child.. Nice closer i lied it 8/10 Overall 72/110 Winner and get the thing reversed N Sight |
nah he obviously swaying this shit just keep killa's vote outa this becuase this faggot N-Sight just cant take a loss cause he a FAGOT
|
Structure: B
Flow: B Creativeness: N Imagery:I Have to say Both. Enjoyed: B cuz it was well written, related to the content Overall: B V/: Blak Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. |
dayum...
ayo
Blak: ya flow was on target strait thru...nice vocan n internal rhymes... i liked ya style.. a pretty well based jawn all around.. n plus it was a weak topic n u played tha shyt owt of it... nice N-Sight: i dunno ya vocab was iight and ya had a moderate opener but ya shyt was kinda stretched... a couple lines grabbed my attention but not like Blak's.. overall sum pretty scary but srait shyt mang v/ Blak Siinz |
I gatta go wit Black here... he rhymed all the way thru, and had some good lines... I liked the flow, and the structure.. it was well set up and keyed up...
N-Sight.. you had the vocab portion of this battle.. for sure u used larger vocab, but your lines were pretty long, and there weren't many rhymed in the verse... It was good for a recollection of a true story tho... Black... You had good flow, good structure, rhymed all the way thru, and it had a more entertaining theme... Overall my vote goes to you.. Vote - Black... Good Battle By Both. |
uppin for some more votes since i guess this is back open
thanks |
Vote-Black Siinz
Exp: InSight-dayum nikka ya shit was a thriller kinda scarry. badd dreams tonite. it had good flo, and good structure. the only way that black siinz got my vote is because he had what u had plus one. he had humor. u had suspence tho it was a bit predictable.. i knew it was a ghost or spirit as soon as u sed ur first couple of verses. Black-nice shit..had me laffin hard....nice way to go back 13 yrs and git a 7yr old's perspective on this shit. u beat him wit the humor and less predictable suspense. I digged this topical. Every other subjuect was tied vote-black siinz |
Blak siinz - hmm decent topical...very basic lines...but good flow....nice multis in there....stuck on topic....gave a twist to it....decent spit....jus work on ur complexity of the lines....give it a 6.7/10....
N Sight - wow...that was a very good drop...all the fact that it is true makes it great....complexity in ur dorp which is a plus compared to blak's verse....u had me into it and wanting to keep reading.....very good flow and spit.....give it a 9.1/10.... vote - N Sight for the complex verse.... |
i gotta give that to sinz his shit was hott and it was funny as heLL..good rhymes kid
|
Blak Siinz..........your verse was pretty ill man i felt that you came pretty simple compared to your stuff i seen on old rb but i liked it. Your flow was was good and i liked your structure. Your aproach to the subject was quite good.....i felt that your closer was your best part because it wasnt anything that was expected in a topic like this. Good verse man
N-Sight........ wasnt really feeling your verse man. It was kinda scary and it was off in some spots. Your structure was a little off awell and it threw off your flow..however you did have good wordplay but im still going to have to go with Blak on this one for a better over all verse v/Black |
Flow-Black Sinz ur flow was tight i was really feeling ur opener and ur closer. N Sight ur flow was all over da place some lines were great, some werent. It was jus wack. Some didnt even rhyme
Orignality and Complexiy-I like Black Sinz structure to cuz da rhymes were flowing, ur jus didnt flow as well. Also same level of stuff Impact- Wow black sinz dat hit hard specailly dat one line, "Mom" I say "Why are you mad, I saved you can't you see." She says "No faggot, that guy was fucking me!. Ya dat was good but nothing to great urs N Sight Overall-Blacks was way betta then N Sight Vote Black Sinz |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:22 PM. |