ShAdoW vrs flow intelligent *topical*
 

30 lines max...
no crew
no hate
no d/r
topic...... life after death

spit due 30 after checkin
good luck flow intelligent!

checkity check check

dis lookz like a good battle fellaz na mean...good luck to both of ya 1

C'Mon' .... !!! & Spit Catts'

line correction.......
i think once again to my self " mark u kno how 2 choose it.....
then i hear harps violens.. and extremely roud rap-music....
it should be that sorry

ya...i'll vote in this once FLOW drops...then Imma drop a link so yallniggas can RTF

wtf flow when you gonna post up ya verse dmn u alrady got ur people here to vote but no verse lol hurry it up

meanwhile...this shit huuuuuuuuur needs votes

http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=127547

checkin in my bad i been doin shyt offline ill get mine up in 30

~!1!~

riding down the street i cant think straight im pretty high........
as i cross the street i hear a loud horn,as the bus flies by..........
i feel sick and like i fainted and im dizzy with blurry sight.........
all of a sudden, it goes white..then i see a heavenly light........
I am.... dead! i wish that i never went to that seven eleven.......
becuase now i have to go through tha tunnel-to-heaven......
i think about how i tradically died- it gets me very pissed....
kodac moments with my girl, and all the things i missed.......
as i enter the tunnel.. i walk thirty feet and hear voices......
the tunnel forks off in to many paths, too many choices....
for being dead im functioning and thinking very well......
i just cant go down da wrong path it could lead to hell.....
i choose the left path, and the cave starts to get tighter...
but then u hear singing and the light gets brighter......
i notice that with evryfoot that tunnel is getting bigga.....
then i think to my self" mark ur one lucky-ass nigga......
yes! im overjoyed and start to breath deeply and laugh...
then i wonder did tupac and big have2 cross this path......
i reached the end! and it feels like im on some crazy pills....
becuz theres green grass all over the gently rollin hills.......
i think once again to my self " mark u kno how 3 choose it.....
then i hear harps violens.. and extremely roud rep-music....
thats it i reached those beutiful golden-pearly gates.....
now nobody exept for god can detirmen my fate.........
its a party! i saw tupac and said what up..he didnt reply....
try to enter the gates oh no all of a sudden acces denied!...
good imagery...first time voting on a topical...so dont kno how it works. but good imagery...good flow...some had weak flow, but overall good....down to the point, and the story is in good chronological order.



my lifes a blunder feelin time slip away downward i plunder
death feels like 20 tons bricks stacked on top of each-other
i try to speak but when i move my lips nothing comes out
im wondering if this is what life after death is about
i have the choice to look back on my life and see all
should i look or not...it could make my heart free fall
all the mistakes i made and the days i never lived to the fullest
i have to look back on all this bullshit... but i feel its foolish
i have to...i must...i gotta see my daughter growing up
or i could turn away and decide if im goin down or goin up
i decide to walk away and let the pain melt from my skin
once again...this isnt life after death cuz i got another life to begin
no more feelings no more heartache pain hate or rage
i guess living after death is just like turning the page
my heart is telling me heaven but my actions are showing me hell
i try to ask myself which direction but my brain isnt willing to tell
all the sins i have commited are forcing me to go down
but all the love in my heart makes a beat with no sound
i choose to go to heaven with my mother even tho i hurt her
i started walking closer and closer but the distance got further
im stuck in the same place all alone and i have no way up
all of a sudden i hear my daughters voice and i start to wake up
flow did a good job of putting emotions into words, and that fear of heaven of hell, but i think i gotta go wit shadow because he told a better story if thats gotta do wit anythign...but cut me sum slack this is my first topical vote....peace.....

lol was that even a vote he just copied and pasted and then said 50 words after it... ill let it stay tho no hate UPPIN FOR VOTES ~!1!~

Yo Yo Yo Nice Spit From Both Shit

Shawdow U Showed Emotions And Feelings I Like Dat Man U Good

Flow Nice Man U Went Str8 Hardcore To Da Topic Life U Talked About Yo Life In Da Past

U Thought Flow Was Going Da One I Voted

Shawdow Man U Are Deep Da Big And 2-pac Shit Dats Deep Shit// Emotions And Feelings Damn Dawg U Went Hardcore To Da Topic



Den Death U Talked About If U Was Down Or Up

Dat Was Hot Shit

U Talked About Yo Life Den U Talked About Yo Path (heaven Or Hell)

U Painted Yo Descriptions Dat What Will Heaven Be Like And What Wil U See

Man Dats Deep

Vote=shawdow

Flow Man U Good Keep Elevating On Dem Topicals Den U Off Da Chain

But Show More Emotions And Feelings And Pain An Picture Step By Step

Vote=shawdow

man I have to go with shadow becuase he flowed better and I think he flowed better in the topic sso my vote goes to shadow.

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

^^ what kinda vote is dat... if yall conna vote we want some honest votes.....and we want them explained anyway uppin

Shadow: Your verse seemed amateurish. The rhyming was too simple. Also, the constant references to speaking with Tupcac became corny. You had typographical errors that were inexcusible. Also, please focus on a story line and follow it.

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest
(70 points total)

Rhyming: 5
Imagery:6
Wordplay:3
Vocab:4
Flow:5
Story/Lyrics:5
Emotion:5

Total:33/70
Standout Lines:

yes! im overjoyed and start to breath deeply and laugh...
then i wonder did tupac and big have2 cross this path......
i reached the end! and it feels like im on some crazy pills....
becuz theres green grass all over the gently rollin hills.......



FlowIntelligent: OMG...This is a no-brainer. Flow easily won this topical with more emotion, better imagery, and more mature feel to your piece. This was a good verse. I don't know what those other voters are thinking. But, they need to pull their heads out their asses.

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest
(70 points total)

Rhyming:6
Imagery:6
Wordplay:4
Vocab:5
Flow:6
Story/Lyrics:7
Emotion:7

Total: 41/70
Standout Lines:

all the mistakes i made and the days i never lived to the fullest
i have to look back on all this bullshit... but i feel its foolish
i have to...i must...i gotta see my daughter growing up
or i could turn away and decide if im goin down or goin up



Vote:Flow...better lyrics.PERIOD.

Yo this was a dope topical, I usually hate reading these because theyre so long and generally lack flow but you both told good stories- I think you both were descriptive about the events written about in the rhymes- I think that Flow Intelligent came with more flow in his verse- I like how Flow came with the story bringing his daughter into the picture in the middle of the verse and stating he had to make a decision, then he continued his story in a way that you didn't question it, but at the end you bring up your daughter again and if the reader goes back you can see its that point where the flow changed, I found it impressive.... and since this is a topical and you both told the story well Ima have to go on that and vote for him... I wish I could break the 1 vote into 4 peices and divide it though cuz you both came nicely- good luck in the future...ez

my vote would have 2 go to Flow ......
 

I liked the way that he incorporated his daughter into the rhyme. I also liked the way it was just a dream in the end, I think he got deeper with emotions and telling exactly what he was feeling. Referring to bricks falling, his heart dropping, etc.

^^^ nah.. you dont have enough posts plus that is unexplained

Shadow(Discharge)-You Was very imaginey which I liked.
But didnt really seem Like it was real enough Ya know..
Metaphores was in there but no similies...Pretty
good..But a lil lack with vocab

FLow intelligent-You came not very imaginative
But your vocab took this all the way..And since
you had a lil bit imaginative you took this...
I liked some things..


Overall-FLow intelligent took this becuz he had a lil Imaginery
and he killed it with the vocab...But Shadow was imaginery
which I liked too...But both didnt have similies and metaphores
but only a lil.So

v/Flow intelligent for havin a lil bit of all
Return the favor in one of my battles

uppin for votes will return the favor ~!1!~

dope topical here my boys i got to go with flow on this one though my man came hotter and i felt is verse alot more rising sun yours was to long i fell asleep reading it 3 times then i decide to sit thourgh it you had some metas but noting to extravagent word flow got strait to the point with some dope metas and transformation with hot word play

good job gental men v\\\
v/ flow

RTF links in the sig no hate votes

it was shadow all the way he had better punch personal and the flow was tight
other cat was good but not good enough
i the flow intelligent was alittle wack big up to both

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

flow intell.
your verse wasnt really that good... it was nice but not good...you didnt keep it flowing.. your flow was off..
you had fair wordplay.. bestlines:
my lifes a blunder feelin time slip away downward i plunder
death feels like 20 tons bricks stacked on top of each-other
i try to speak but when i move my lips nothing comes out
im wondering if this is what life after death is about
i have the choice to look back on my life and see all
should i look or not...it could make my heart free fall
^^ those were good but your whole verse fell after that
7.5//10

shadow.. you came with good flow and ok wordplay...
you need work on all of that anyway.......
bestlines:
i think once again to my self " mark u kno how 3 choose it.....
then i hear harps violens.. and extremely roud rep-music....
thats it i reached those beutiful golden-pearly gates.....
now nobody exept for god can detirmen my fate.........
its a party! i saw tupac and said what up..he didnt reply....
try to enter the gates oh no all of a sudden acces denied!...
you won becuz of better flow.. only a tinybit better verse..
my vote shadow..

^^^ That's a d/r vote cuz ATM and Shaw are bosom buddies...

I'd have that DQ'ed Flow...and sorry for freeposting...but SHADOW has to cheat in order to win...anyone who knows anything about writing can see FLOW had the better piece

PERIOD.

man^^ a aint tell anyomne to vote.. ur still mad cuz i whooped your as. and if you keep free posting ill have you banned your the d/r always behind your buddy

flow intell....you had some great wordplay but your flow was lasking a little... The imagery was alright in your spit.. you tried to add in some metas which were okay but didnt really add to your spit...it didnt help your flow enough... i wasnt feelin the plot in your verse it wasnt workin for you.. I know you have spit a lot hotter.. but in battles not topicals.. Good job though.. .... overall 16/20

shadow...
you had good flow and good imagrey in this you were just a step ahead of flow in this
you won the battl;e becuz of your plot.... The tupac shit was getting a bit annoying but it helped out your story line..
overall 17/20
my vote shadow...

The topic was kinda odd.. considering theres a Biggie CD called that isnt there???

Anyways Voted - Shadow..

Good battle though.. I like to see these battles... Hot MC's vs. Hot MC's

okay...good topic...good battle

shadow.i felt your verse and I liked it a lot...everything was good but the ending....in a topical battle you want to express how you feel emotionally..and when you just cut it off at a bad twist..it makes it seem like a joke....and i didn;'t really like that...so that took away hard core..anyways..not a bad verse though

Flow intelligent...your verse was good...had some good lines in there..imagery wasn't as good as shadows but there wasn't muxch difference between your verses as far as what was better and what wasn't....untill the end...you had a pretty good ending...and I liked your twist...that made your verse better...where as shadows aending made his worse..i gotta give it to you flow intelligent...much respect...keep bangin....2 fingas one love

Yea shadow Tells people to vote for him...Hes a d/rer...White Powder is one of his best Buds too no hate to WP...We still cool...But I have to agree with N Sight and I thought I was the only one that noticed that

man shut up ill your just mad cuz i beat ur ass 5-0
your freinds just voted against you