Topical: DeLeon Vs. PoTeNtIaL
 

aight playa since we already got our verses just drop it here

Voters: all votes must be explained....ya need 255 post to vote

nice drop, i'll vote wen potential spits....this one shud be good battle..

Sorry couldnt drop yesterday...good luck to everyone, and good drop....

An angel sent to Earth, the one girl that I adored
legs buckled, getting weak, blood starting to soar
Dating for a while now, each day she got me riled
Freezing from loneliness, easily fixed up by her smile
Time for the next step, was ready for it all except
My stomach leapt before asking, the secret that I kept
Asked if she was prepared, Felt like a game of truth or dare
Silence was deadly, The first of our penetrations in her stare
Took her hand in mine, and I looked straight into her eyes
The problems to arise, seem swept away by her convincing lies
She said “I’m ready to do this, I have no fears in me or doubts”
Soon as the line was finished, all my problems were flushed out
Her virginity, a flower never harvested, yes still was aiming to bloom
The gloom filled at my house, phone ringing, filled with my loves doom
Secret swept the phone, as I heard a women’s gruesome voice
Reluctant to keep talking, but it seemed to no longer be my choice
“I told you to never call me again, it was only a one time thing”
Foreshadowed the sting of my heart, punishment for my summer fling
“The condom broke, and I’m expecting to deliver at anytime”
Time froze for a moment, felt like I was the one to commit a crime
Kept staring at the phone, the words just couldn't escape my throat
She said “come meet me soon” so put on my hat and my coat
Arrived at her house, hoping what she spoke were nothing but jokes
Then when I felt her stomach that’s when my heart just broke
“My life’s over I said” and what about the girl I love
The angel sent from God to me, will she still send me her love?
Dialed the 7 numbers that were premonitions of my death
She would control the outcome, give me life, or death in her breath
Explained to her what happened, an impact that rocked her brain
And then she burst out crying......feeling of death in me again
Parents never accept the child, one born of shameful wedlock
Time for talk had diminished, phone hung, heading for my glock
Didn’t love her yet she tried to stop me, the moment that I began to cry
My hand on the baby one more time, and felt forced , and relieved to die

Another perspective
I Heard a loud noise, then I could feel my mothers pain
Screeching noises, my ears wasn’t able to sustain
Floating around but sad, then these memories started to enter me
Coming quick and painful, entering my mind through forcefully
But reached for it too, new life, born again, would never have any harm
Then I screamed in horror, as It ripped it straight out of me
Couldn't see, no my other arm was tearing, complete agony
Legs now torn off, head ripped, surrounded by my blood to only cry
This started as my first life ended, living just to die...............

*loud noise, is gun shot, sirens is ambulence, the guy was reincarnated as the baby

^^added the explanation in case poeple didnt get it

good luck mayn, and good drop.......

uppin for some honest votes....

come on..lets get some votes on this tight ass topical
VOTE!!!!

Lemme re-read this and drop again...


On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest:
DELEON

Rhyme Scheme:7
Flow:7
Imagery:7
Wordplay:5
Vocabulary:6
Creativity:6
Storyline:6
Entertainment Value:6

Total out of 80 points possible: 50

**I like how you jumped right into the topic.


Stand out lines:

“They sent you for me? Why even bother,” I asked the doctor/
His reply almost made me cry, “Sir you’re the child’s father.”/
Man I swear, I almost broke down right there/
My whole life just turned into a fuckin nightmare/



POTENTIAL

Rhyme Scheme:7
Flow:7
Imagery:6
Wordplay:5
Vocabulary:6
Creativity:5
Storyline:5
Entertainment Value:6

Total out of 80 points possible: 47


Stand out lines:

“The condom broke, and I’m expecting to deliver at anytime”
Time froze for a moment, felt like I was the one to commit a crime
Kept staring at the phone, the words just couldn't escape my throat
She said “come meet me soon” so put on my hat and my coat


**In my view, you didn't start off on topic and took too long to address the topic.


Vote: Deleon...more focused verse

DLeon:
Rhyme Scheme:6
Flow:6
Imagery:6
Wordplay:4
Vocabulary:5
Creativity:5
Storyline:7
Entertainment Value:6

44/80

PoTenTial:
Rhyme Scheme:7
Flow:7
Imagery:7
Wordplay:5
Vocabulary:6
Creativity:6
Storyline:6
Entertainment Value:6

50/80

OveraLL: I Think his verse was more overall better & very concept. Both werse nice verses. But "Potential" won by an edge!

DAMN!!!!!!! Listen ya need 255 posts to vote.....thats how i know you didnt
read this shit...fucken D/R

uppin dis shit for more votes.....

i'll use 40's example to show what i thought of this battle.

DLeon:
Rhyme Scheme:7/10
Flow:6/10
Imagery:7/10
Wordplay:7/10
Vocabulary:6/10
Creativity:7/10
Storyline:7/10
Entertainment Value:8/10
Overall:62/80

PoTenTial:
Rhyme Scheme:6/10
Flow:8/10
Imagery:7/10
Wordplay:7/10
Vocabulary:6.5/10
Creativity:7.5/10
Storyline:6/10
Entertainment Value:7/10
Overall:55/80

Why?: Deleon had a real nice verse, i loved it to be honest. had a good concept and nice story line and had a bit of comedy in there. nice drop that one. potential did good too. had real nice flow which is what stood out for me. tha vocab was good but not as well used as deleon. tha storyline was okay but it was good how u showed another perspective. it was a close battle but i think deleon took it, his was juz a slight bit better. props to ya both, nice battle

vote = deleon

uppin for some votes......

uppin.....

Stop sleepin and Vote DAMN IT!! lol

Vote!!!!

Uppin for votes on this tight ass topical battle......

up.

ok
deleon
sturcute 7/10
creativity 8/10
flow 9/10
my opinion - i really liek that spt man it had nice flow and it was hot!!! nice job

PoTeNtIaL
flow 6/10
creativity 8/10
sturcute 7/10
my opinion- nice job was ok but deleon won this one

overall vote-deleon

o ya return the favor

me vs beastmastak its on frotnlines page 1!!!!!

aight lets get some more votes up in this..

up.....

ROFL..........my god......i hate topicals.....but deleons verse had me fuck crackin up ......that shit was fuckin hilarious........yall needa take some notes from this dude,n make topicals worth the read......cuz usually i fall asleep during them............the other kid,u know it was a nice story n all,but it didnt grab me.......like deleons shit was just fuckin memorable..........rofl.........still laughin at some lines he had in there.........rofl...u are a funny ass dude son...........lol holla if u need a more thorough brakedown that can be arranged

ok,imma brake it down a lil more just in case yall think it wasnt broken down enough


GOT DAMN!! The condom broke! Man this is some bullshit/
Wrong as playin Russian Roulette wit a war vet and a full clip/
KIND OF A PUNCH IN A TOPICAL......
Then the questions started. Why did I fuck? Why did I lay on this bed?/
Why couldn’t I follow the flow and let this ho give me head instead?/
LOL
“A damn shame. Then the question came “Who can I blame?”/
I’m goin insane my mind putting too much strain on my brain/
“I got it. Dat nigga came before me who was getting it wet?”/
He heard me and said “I aint beat, she swallowed my skeet. I knew better than that”/
RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLL L
I’m not stuck maybe she too drunk to know who just fucked/
Then I heard, “DeLeon, you were the best” Damn! No such luck/
LOL..MAN U'RE A FUNNY KID
“Look bitch, get this straight, this shit never took place/
And after tonight’s over I don’t wanna see yo face/
No need to blow shit all out of proportion/
If you get pregnant you can just get an abortion”/
We tried to get an abortion but shit aint work out right/
We got jumped by lines of people wit picket signs screamin out “PRO LIFE”/
I was fightin back, but they had more demonstrators than RB has haters/
I blacked out and woke up in a hospital 8 MONTHS LATER!!/
I went to check myself out then a doctor saw me and screamed/
“DeLeon! Follow me to room two-fourteen”/
So I’m walkin around, ass stickin out the hospital gown/
LOL
And I’m thinking ‘how can life get any worse, I got beat the fuck down.’/
I walked into the room and saw my whole life swirlin around in my head/
The bitch from the party was in the bed wit a baby on her legs/
“They sent you for me? Why even bother,” I asked the doctor/
His reply almost made me cry, “Sir you’re the child’s father.”/
Man I swear, I almost broke down right there/
My whole life just turned into a fuckin nightmare/
Just when I was thinking “Why couldn’t this bitch just get hit by a truck”/
ROFL
She said “I’ma name him DeLeon.” I was like WHAT THE FUCK!!!/
“Look charcoal black lady I’ll break yo spine
RRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLL/
That mutated lookin crack baby aint mine”/
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFL
I swear on my life I’ll burn down yo house and you’ll be on the street/
If you tell anybody that fuckin child belong to me”/
Then she said “I’ll name him after my next favorite rapper,FlOw InTeLLiGeNt /
But wont he get mad the kid has his name but no Intelligence/
“I swear bitch, you goin see yo house wit flames on it/
If I find out that birth certificate got my name on it”/

and no yall..I aint for abortion
YEA IT HAD A GOOD STORY LINE........IT MADE ME LAUGH......N IT TAUGHT A GOOD LESSON I THINK..........THE OTHER GUY.....MAN I DONT FEEL LIKE BRAKIN IT DOWN...THE STORY WAS OK I GUESS.......BUT IT DIDNT MAKE ME LAUGH,IT WAS JUST TELLIN A STROY ABOUT U HAVIN A GF THEN SOME CHICK U FUCKED IN THE SUMMER GOT PREGNANT OR WHATEVER.......I MEAN,IT WAS JUST SOMETHING EVERYONE WOULD THINK OF......U COULD'VE TAKEN THAT STORYLINE N JUST MADE IT FUNNY.......... I ALSO THINK DELEON STAYED ON TOPIC MORE...........CUZ THE OTHER GUY WAS TALKIN ABOUT HIS GIRL N WHATEVER BEFORE HE GOT INTO THE CONDOM SHIT.............VOCAB THE OTHER DUDE MAY HAVE HAD THAT.......BUT I DONT THINK IT REALLY MATTERS.......FLOW BOTH TIE................IN TOPICALS THERE ARE NO PUNCHES SO THE OTHER THING U CAN JUDGE ON IS WHAT STORY GRABBED U MORE..........N DELEONS DID THAT FOR ME...............

word...all votes well derserved....uppin, good job deleon

uppin.....props to potential

DeLeon: okay this was nice as usual....... umm weird ass topical tho for
real.....you had nice flow the rhyme scene was pretty good, punches
hmm...... it was better than your flow really feeling it for real.......
originality & creativity were both on point, concept good

overall: 8/10

PoTeNtIaL: okay this was good flow fell off a lil but it came back on
point after a while, good punches better than your flow, originality
was okay and creativity good...........................concept good as
well okay.......

overall: 7/10

okay Potential your flow lost the battle for you in my opinion..........
weird topical seriously

(do a honest vote on my shit the links in my signature)