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-   -   When i look at you (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=133672)

The Mexican 07-07-04 01:45 AM

When i look at you
 
When I look at you I begin to cry inside
you’re the one I let get away
baby ur still important to me
I still want u in my life
as a friend or one day maybe even more
but aslong as your happy then I can continue to move forward
right now I’m lost n it still hurts 2 know
that in the mornin I’ll still sorrow
I still miss u ever since that day ‘n’ it hurts 2 know you moved on right away
but like I said ur happy
n that is all dat matters 2 me baby please forgive me
for all the things I’ve done or said
cuz right now if it wasn’t for you
I’d still be pissin my life
away or maybe even dead

The Mexican 07-07-04 01:48 AM

Feedback plz leave a link n i'll get back at u

The Mexican 07-08-04 12:58 AM

plz hit me up wit some feedback

FlipSix 07-08-04 10:01 PM

that poem is deep you got talent dawg

The Mexican 07-09-04 02:45 AM

ay thx man...uppin dis feed back plz

XêN†R!K 07-09-04 06:13 AM

n that is all dat matters 2 me baby please forgive me
for all the things I’ve done or said
cuz right now if it wasn’t for you
I’d still be pissin my life away or maybe even dead


im really feelin this piece..

emotional shit.. keep it up pimpin

God 07-10-04 01:21 AM

itt was a pretty dope peice lots of feelin but very short

The Mexican 07-10-04 01:56 AM

ay...thx fa the feedback...still uppin dis

The Mexican 07-11-04 12:41 AM

plz quit sleepin on dis...feedback plz

The Mexican 07-12-04 03:07 AM

uppin

The Mexican 07-13-04 09:01 PM

feedback plz

The Mexican 07-16-04 02:35 AM

uppin dis...

The Mexican 07-16-04 02:36 AM

leave a link n i'll hit u back

candy 07-16-04 02:36 AM

that is a nice poem i like it alot

The Mexican 07-16-04 02:40 AM

ty...uppin

mcmix 07-16-04 03:25 AM

nice poem keep up the good job

The Mexican 07-16-04 04:10 AM

thx still uppin

shyluv 07-16-04 04:33 AM

that's hot way to go

The Mexican 07-16-04 02:38 PM

thanx fa da feed...still uppin

grandrapper 07-17-04 03:57 AM

damn that's very good

The Mexican 07-17-04 03:59 AM

thanks fa da feed still uppin dis

The Mexican 07-18-04 01:30 AM

ay uppin dis leave a link and i'll get back at you

The Mexican 07-18-04 11:51 PM

uppin

Crossword 07-19-04 08:07 AM

Suggestion: Don't up so much, do what i do... Comment on other pieces you haven't commented on and drop a link... You're freeposting there buddy. Anyways.

I think this was just as good as the last one, and for the same reasons. The last 3-4 lines were the best of the poem. I would like to see more form you, but maybe something longer? 6/10

Return the Favor
Stranger At the Gates

The Mexican 07-19-04 10:01 PM

ay...thx fa da suggestion liquor of tears...i'll do dat from here on and thanks fa the feedback...

The Reaper 07-20-04 12:34 AM

Yeah, I thought it was good. It was definitely an emotional peice. I think you really hit your heart on that one and let yourself open up, which is what poetry is all about. However, for me, sometimes it's hard to read a poem and actually give it any recognition and not get bored with it when you use abbreviations. I don't know if maybe that was just part of the artistic nature in which you wanted to display it, or maybe it's just out of habit. Either way, I didn't like that. However, on the total, I liked it. Good job.

The Mexican 07-21-04 12:45 AM

ay thanks for the feed...most definatley appreciate it...uppin

The Mexican 07-25-04 04:43 AM

leave a link i'll get back at ya...uppin dis

soultress89 07-25-04 06:05 PM

this is a great poem so keep it and also u made a good point in it too.

The Mexican 07-29-04 02:41 AM

thanks fa da feed...uppin


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